Do your kids plot against you?
@02FreeSpirit22 (99)
United States
June 22, 2007 1:20pm CST
My daughters are only 2 and 3, and they all ready team up on my. One of them will throw something on the floor and the other one will kick it across the room. Who to yell at first, I know they are doing it together? Then when I actually get the first to sllep at night or nap time, her sister insists on being absolutly rotten. Like she is trying to get me to yell at her. Then if I do yell at her, and wake up her sister, she yells at me. I taught the older sister to be so protective that now they both think they are ruler of the castle.
I don't want to break up this awesome bond that they have, but How do I win?
2 responses
@lillake (1630)
• United States
22 Jun 07
I think it is great that they have such a close sibling bond. That will certainly be an asset when they are older and into adulthood. Can I ask why you have to yell? At 2 and 3 they are still pretty young and often will act out just to get your attention. When they want to throw things or kick things, which is great for developing muscles by the way, why not just give them something they can throw and kick? Or lead them into another room where it is safer? Or outside? Or play with them? While one naps find ways to keep the other occupied. Why do you have to win? is it a competition? Do you feel like you ahve to be the "winner" and in control? http://mommybabble.contentquake.com/2007/06/18/consensual-living/
@02FreeSpirit22 (99)
• United States
22 Jun 07
It's not necessarily a winning or losing thing. It's more an ongoing battle with no end in sight. I try to keep them entertained, but the only thing they are interested in is waking the other one up. My oldest daughter will cry if I make her go in the other room away from her sister. Yes I do feel that I have to be in control, otherwize I will have more of a problem with more important issues. If they don't understand that I am their mother and they have to listen to me, how do I teach them?
@lillake (1630)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Is it working? Is trying to be "in control" working? If it were you wouldn't have posted your original post. Why do you have to be in control? What lessons are you teaching them by forcing them to obey your control? Why do they want to wake each other up? What do they get from that? Can you provide that need in another way? How about Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pam_leo2.html or Ten Alternatives to Punishment http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/punishment.html
How Children Really React to Control http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/thomas_gordon.html
Toddlers: To Tame or to Trust http://www.naturalchild.org/naomi_aldort/tame.html
Break it down. What are you doing now? Does it work? If not then scrap it. It can't hurt to try it a new way if the old system of control isn't working. Read this, try it, see for your self. http://mommybabble.contentquake.com/2007/06/18/consensual-living/
Ten Ways We Misunderstand Children http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/misunderstand.html
What Do Children Want? http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/carolyn_simmons.html
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
22 Jun 07
are you kidding me? they do this becuase they know they can get away with it...you need to stop this right now...
if you let it continue, imagine what they are gonna be like when they are 10 (or 14 for that matter...my daughter was a pretty good child, but has such an attitude...ah those teenage years!!)
fix it NOW!
@02FreeSpirit22 (99)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Ok how exactly would you fix such a thing. It's not like they are physically hitting me or each other. They think of it as more fun than anything. Lets watch mommy go crazy!
