do u discuss ur past affairs with ur husband/wife/bf/gf
By ranikrishnan
@ranikrishnan (1683)
India
9 responses
@urbandekay (18278)
•
23 Jun 07
No, your only possible motivation for doing this is a selfish one
all the best urban
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
25 Jun 07
sorry now i do understand, yes selfish people are always inquisitive to know these tings, to see if they are much better tha others lol
@urbandekay (18278)
•
23 Jun 07
What don't you understand? One should not discuss past affairs. The only reasons for doing so are selfish ones
all the best urban
@larabellarina91106 (59)
• United States
23 Jun 07
I used to answer the questions, how many b/f have you had and after so many conversations about it, I realized that it would never make a relationship stronger.
I think you should let go of the past, and when asked that question, say "only you honey, cause you're all that matters now."
I refuse to answer that question now, when pressed, my past shouldn't matter to the person whom loves me.
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
23 Jun 07
yes someone who loves u dearly should love u for what u are and not for what u were once upon a time. thts a good answer.
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
25 Jun 07
but not many like to leave the past alone, tey keep digging and annoying people who have entrusted them now
@larabellarina91106 (59)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Exactly, now if someone asks me that it throws up a big red flag. When you're starting a new relationship, you should never start digging into one anothers pasts, you should just want to know what they require, desire, and have gained in the present and the future!
Maybe after many years of marriage, if the questions are still important to your spouse then maybe some things of your past are important for them to know but never past relationships.
@asmurthy (2461)
• India
23 Jun 07
I don't think it is advisable to tell your past affairs to your partner. You need broadminded person to understand you. In western culture it common to have dates and affairs. But Indian culture is different. Its thinking has not grown to that level.
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
25 Jun 07
yes true, feel women are too narrow minded than men, but cant say both are alike and selfish. they will do all wrong and expect a pathini wife, sameway the women will flirt and expect husbands to be rama
@keep_onwatch (2680)
• India
23 Jun 07
Yeah my husband knows every thing about my past relationships and so do i know about his......because we were friends since the past 8 years and we had been 2 gether for almost 3 yrs....so before that wat ever we had or gone through, in both of our lives we know completely............
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
23 Jun 07
i then there should be transparency between a good relationship. keeping off something is bad. good luck, urs seems to be strong relaionship.
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
23 Jun 07
i think much depends on the culture and the understanding level of the partner. but its always good to be honest rather than he finding it later
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
i've done that the last time i was with my ex-bf and he really used it against me and judged me for it (hey, i was young, so shoot me.. lol!). So basically, i've learnt my lesson and never really discussed my past affairs with my THEN ex-bf to my husband. My husband doesn't really care about it at all.. never asks.. and so i don't tell him about it. Maybe even if he did ask, i'll keep most to myself. Not being dishonest but being careful. The only thing my husband knows about my ex-bf is his name. lol!
@ranikrishnan (1683)
• India
25 Jun 07
i think we should drop all guilt in this factor, it is guilt which drives us crazy. we should accept tht it is natural to have bf/gf or affairs. and one can choose whether to tell or not.
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I think it's important that partners discuss their past experiences with past partners because it can make your current relationship grow. Simply because both of you are learning from it, learning what you don't like, learning what went wrong and how to avoid it. I've dicussed some aspects of past relationships with my partner, but it's never anything major simply because those relationships never went anywhere.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
23 Jun 07
Sometimes.
If a question comes up which I would like to share, sure I will respond mentioning my past.
I wouldn't hide it. lol
~Joey
@paradise12 (938)
• India
25 Jun 07
Well it is better to tell the about the past,about past afaairs as someday that person may come to know about it from others and he would feel hurt...
So its better to tell him but i feel there should be kept a limit to that past so that it won't ruin present relationship,anyways past won't come back...
