Why after 8 years does he still do this?

You have allowed this to go on for many years, i think it should have been stopped right from the start. You need to make your husband understand that its ok to be upset with you but takeing it out on the child is unaccteable, I can see your child down the road when he is older seeing that when the dad is mad at you he knows its goin to be bad for him and he will come to resent you. I think he is doing this as a way to get back at being angry at you he knows it makes you upset and its his way at getting back at you. I say you need to put a stop to it happening before things get worse.

Oh that is tough- I don't know why he does it- Perhaps he thinks it will hurt you as well- and if you 2 are arguing- he is trying to reach you where it will hurt the most- It's sad I know- I would just keep telling your hubby this- It is not fair to Eryk- Eryk thinks of him as his dad right- He has been in the picture before he was born- Does Eryk know and spend time with his biological father?

If your husband did this from the beginning, you can be sure he will do it by year 8. Men do not usually get better. They get worse. He may say he cannot see it, but I think that is only because if he admits he is hard Eryk, then he has to apologize and do something about his behavior. Many men do not want to do that. If I remember, you have 5 children. That is stressful for any man or woman. It is always easier to take it out on someone you consider to be weaker than yourself. Thus, Eryk is the target, even if he does not mean to do it.

why you havent stop it at the start,and fome now on you should stop your husband doing it, you are Eryk' mother,you have to do something for him.and have you talk it to Junior.what his mean? good luck !

Can I offer some constructive criticism? Please do not take this the wrong way or anything, but I sorta think you have a...mentality, sort of, that he's not the real dad. And that he's doing that because he's not the "real dad"? He is very much Eryk's father, as he is the man that is always around him and cares for him. A father or mother isn't necessarily that one that created, but the one who cares for one. I don't think it's fair that you'd call him your son ("our" son, maybe?) and that you'd put daddy into quotations like that. I only say this because my mom is the same way. When she gets upset with my dad she takes it out on me and my brother - she'll yell at us over the teeniest things that she wouldn't otherwise, and she bore me and my brother. Some people are just like that, don't think your husband is like that because he didn't help create Eryk. I don't know what you'd do about this though, my mom is still this way. We have just learned to deal with it and let her have her space when she's frustrated. Maybe if Eryk told him himself that he agrees with you, he might finally see it? But I've told my mom this and she still doesn't see it. I don't know why some people are like this.

i cant help you stop him from doing it but as a hot tempered person myself, when i am frustrated i dont take it out on those who i am frustrated at in fear of causing another argument equalling more frustration. but instead i take it out on who ever annoys me. not saying your son is annoying at all but if he wants attention or something from his dad he may ask for it at the wrong time or if eryk does not do anything like this then your husband might have a go at him because he knows he isnt gonna get a fight back. he may feel more in control by taking it out on some one so inferior as a child. we all know men like to think they are the boss of us so if he doesnt feel like he is the boss of you then he is the boss of your son.

i do that too. not to my daughter, but when i am angry, i tend to take it out a bit on other people. i dont realize i am doing it when i do, but later on i realize that i do. i really can't tell you how to stop your husband from doing that. i really can't.

Just maybe your husband really can't see him self oing this because he does love Eryk. Have you thought about getting a witness of this behavour. have a movie camera or tape recoreder handy and ready to just turn on. Maybe if your husband saw this for himself he will believe it. I had an aunt that continually interupeted her husband and finished his story or corrected it. she would not believe that she did this when it was pointed out to her but when she heard her self on a tape she could believe she did that. Once she realized what she was doing she worked on stopping. Maybe you husband needs to see him self acting like this in order to believe it. It's worth a try and beside what do you have to loose.

I find when I am upset with my husband I tend to take it out on anyone who is around me . If he is not here or the children start asking for something then I get mad . It is not that I am mad at them but the fact that I am just upset and need to get it out somehow and maybe this is what your husband is doing as well . He may not even realize he is doing it himself . Keep talking to him and maybe Eryk could explain to him how this makes him feel when he does this . I know that when my children pointed it out to me , I felt horrible . I didn't even realize I was doing it but now that I know I do this I try not to be as bad and try to remind myself that the children are not the reason I am upset . Best of luck !!

I guess it's because he feels that Eryk isn't is and has doubts in his head that he can truly bound. We can only second guess but if they did more things together I think more people in this case would find a better feeling from being a father. You don't need to be the natural father to care and have a son. It takes someone who can do it to be a true father, just let him know he really is a "father" to eryk. He probably doesn't notice it. ~Joey

It sounds to me like your husband is trying to hurt you by taking this out on your son. But he is not only hurting you , he is also hurting your son. You need to ask him why he feels the need to hurt you and your son. Some how you two need to communicate your feelings. Sounds like he is in denial.

Beacause sometimes we do not realize we are doing something like that. My first remark was to say "He's a man and why do they do anthing." I think it is like kicking the dog when you are mad, anger displacement and unless your husband gets professional help he will not stop. Sometimes when I get angry at other people I tend to take it out on my husband. Poor guy he does not mean to be in the room it just happens. LOL Good luck

Since he doesn't agree with you about what he is doing I have a suggestion. Why don't you set up a video camera or a tape recorded to tape what he is doing. Then when the arguing settles down you can play back the tape for him to show him how he acts. Sometimes a person doesn't realize how they act when they are upset. Even though you tell him it is hard to believe so he is denying it. By you taping it you will be able to show him. Maybe then he will be able to work on changing that kind of behavior.

as a parent I think we all take things out on our kids that we shouldn't it not fair but we still do it. I know with me when me and my wife have a barney I find the things that my kids do that little bit more anoying and then because I am wond up with the wife I vent my anger at my kids. its not fair I think I will try and make a change in my life, I just hope your husband can do the same. good luck and god bless