How can an argument get so out of control that you ask for a divorce?

That's a man for ya. You should just come right out and say why are you starting a fight. He will deny it of course. Then say your the one getting loud and saying stuff, then just walk away, leaving him hanging in his own thoughts. Don't back down, show him that you will not be ran over even in a fight.

Yeah, we actually attempted to talk to one another today (july 3rd). He wanted permission to go play some stupid game with his friends. I told him to go. He actually invited me along, but I told him I already had plans to go out with some girls and get a drink or two. He got all offended and started griping about who was going to take care of our son. My mother already had our son at this point to take him to eat pizza and go to the movies with his cousins. So arguing about who was watching our son was a moot point. My hubby just wanted to start a fight.

I am not apologizing. I am not the one who started the fight. He started it and he is the one that pushed me into saying I wanted a divorce. I am still mad at him and we are not talking to each other at this time. It is a really quiet house for once. The only person either of us is talking to is our son.

I haven't read beyond this post, but here's my take on things. You BOTH were in the argument, you BOTH got angry and said things Neither of you should have said. Forget who started it - that's childish. Remember why you got married in the first place. Someone needs to be the first to apologise - and if Pride is the only thing keeping you from making that apology, dump the pride and get with the I'm sorry's! My hubby and I have had many battles in our time together - and sad to say I was pretty damned cruel in a few of them! We have had to learn not to bring up past issues (past hurts, past mistakes, etc) when we are arguing or it causes more damage. We have had to learn to talk and not yell, to listen openly, to pick up responsibility and not lay blame. when we work together - and I'm telling you this is one of the hardest things to do! - we manage to keep our disagreements only on the "fight at hand" instead of dragging anything and everything else into it. We too have been angry enough and hurt enough that we have suggested a divorce or said we felt one was needed. Once we cooled off we realised we love each other and want to stay together. It's amazing what you say to one another in the heat of an arguement. On another note - for him to be so serious about your comment leads me to think he might want you to be the one to file for a divorce. Is he having an affair? Could he possibly want you to leave him before you find out about it? My husband and I have never taken our fights so "seriously" in that the next day we are still saying "divorce". Something seems fishy there. I wish you the best of luck. And if he happens to suddenly change his mind again - go from adamantly wanting a divorce to not wanting one, definitely look into the possibility of him having an affair, OR, maybe he's battling depression and the mood swings that go with it? I had a friend who suffered bi-polar as well as depression, and even meds weren't helping. The mood swings are just scary - they go from one end of the spectrum to the other faster than you can blink! And you find it difficult to keep up! And the depression mixed with bi-polar causes all kinds of interesting situations. Blessings to you!!

It is now July 2nd and we are still barely talking to one another. I seriously doubt he is having an affair. He doesn't know anyone and even if he did, she would have to come to our house for them to get it on. He works from home and I am a stay at home mommy. I know every person he sees, talks to, etc. I know every detail of every minute of his life. HE NEVERS LEAVES THE HOUSE!! On the rare occassion that he storms out, he will take a walk around the block. Then come home. HE IS ALWAYS HOME!! Ever heard the saying "familiarity breeds contempt"? I am starting to believe it is true. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. My problem is that my husband is never absent. I have had some time to think about things, and well....maybe we should separate for a while. I am just not sure anymore. Maybe deep down, I do want to end things.

i agree with you completely! time is the best thing you can have between you two right now... it can wash away bad thing. just tell him you will be at someone's house for a day or two, so you two can calm down, and the apologize or do what you please, so then at least he has a chance to listen to you and not be to angry.

I am not going anywhere. If he wants to go to his mother's or brother's house then he can go.

I have written him letters telling him the problems in our marriage. He always claims to want to work them out and try to save our marriage. I am beginning to not have any faith in anything he says to me. I am sure that is not healthy in a marriage.

Maybe. I am going to wait it out and see what happens.

I can assure you that if I left, I would take everything that was mine. That means my son. I don't care about anything else. I wouldn't even bother to pack anything except my son and his things.