Suicidal.

Number1 you are not alone but i do understand how you are feeling because i`m just about there too and believe me this is not something you really want to do there are some people out there who can help you .I know a few friends who cut themselves and i feel their pain but there is something in this world for you you just have to give it a go .My life has been full of abuse right from the start and the only way i can get through each day is to help others who are in need and for me i care for small children just to give their mothers a break even if it`s only for a couple of hours .But i see the relief on their faces when they pick them up and i know it was worth while .If you want you can message me and we can talk i can`t promise i will have the answers you are seeking but i will be here to listen.Please take care and stay safe .Everyone is important in this world eventhough we don`t see it at the time .Do what i do just survive each day as it comes don`t plan for tomorrow as it will get here with it`s own problems

Well i read it and I am thinking of you. I really don't think you should do it and I think you just need to get yourself who can listen. I don't know whats going on in your life to make you feel like this so I am not going to patronise you but I am pretty sure you would rather not end it all just now. I am also guessing that you have no one there for you since you are sharing this on a forum. All I ask of you is that you give yourself 24 hours. When I was like you I created a 24 hour rule cos sometimes so much can change in this. I think as well you should know the facts of what you are going to do. Your bodys instinct when poisoned by pills is to survive and for this reason you will feel all your major organs collapse before you die. You will bleed out everywhere including your ears and nose. You will vomit and be fully consious through it all and it will truly last for hours and hours and will be more painful than you could ever anticipate. Chances are it will hurt so much you will get yourself help regardless of what you plan and chances are you will survive and your liver and kidneys will be severly damaged and even if you plan on doing it again properly you will have to live through so much pain before you get that opportunity. Please reply and tell me what you are feeling so I can at least help you. My thoughts really are with you!

you probably just need some counseling. Go talk to someone. They may put you on some meds too that will help your thoughts, but the best way is get it all out and talk to somebody about it. Don't kill yourself cause there no honor in that and it's selfish.

Its not worth it.Ending your life is not the answer to the problems.Your family/friends will be very hurt.You need to go and talk with someone right now.Call someone go talk to your family and tell them whats bothering you.Pray and talk to God.

Look i don't even know you. But i can see your in pain. You live here in olney but iv never seen your face. God loves you. And if you give me a chance. I will be your friend. You don't have to feel this way. God is the only one who can help you. I'm sorry to hear what your dad did to you. But ill be on my face for you praying that the sun will shine again. You will never be "hated" God loves you. No metter what you do. So please. Write back.

nobody wants to end their life with so many problems. things will get better. it may seem like they won't but they will someday if you make it happen. don't let other people get to you because all they're trying to do is tear you apart mentally. slashin your wrists won't make things better. please don't do these things they hurt others and you need to experience great things later on in life. it may seem like you can't take it anymore but taking walks and thinking things over helps. tell a friend. make an online friend to talk to about your problems. i can talk to you. i make some people feel better when they're down. feel free to talk to me if you need some words of encouragement.

Dear number1fan, I was so happy to read your latest post. Sometimes a word in right time will help. Maybe you will like to hear how I came over depression without pills. If you ever get depressed again, you will know what to do. Except for taking contact with others, which you did, and talking about our problems, our brain needs the right nutrition to handle the life that can be hard sometimes. The discussion is here: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/478387.aspx?p=3 I wish you a great life!!..

I have read...and I do care. I survived rape and incest-and you can too. If you end your life, your abuser will win. The father you described is no father; that's a very sick man. But, don't let him win; and don't let your circumstances beat you either. There is help available. There are support groups and counseling available to you. Contact your local mental health association, human services association, or YWCA for information and referral to the help you need. You CAN beat this and rise above the abuse! It may be a lifelong process, but you can win! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Ok, Im am about to incur wrath Im sure for this response and be called heartless, cold or uncaring. truth be told I am none of those. if this is a prank, you are indeed disturbed. If not, here are my thoughts. Stop whining, get over it, deal, live. your father did terrible things to you. Thesse things that happened do leave scars and effect you. BUT, they are things that happened, not are happening. its done, he's gone. go to his grave and scream at him then make your peace with it, but it is done. You are young and have a long way to go on this planet. you have not yet lived long enough to know the difference between a typical complication and a true crisis and still in your youth tend to dramatize a bit. Like I said, what happened, happened, you can't change it or make it a less terrible thing but it isn't happening now. Get a grip on your life, take the wheel and drive. Your problems are not unique young lady, Im not saying there not big ones, just not unique, millions of others have been through what you have and millions of others have grown to be productive members of a funtioning society. Do the same. If millions have done it, so can you. they are not any better than you, you are not any worse off than they were. No one cares? how do you know? How can you see someone caring if your that wrapped up in your own self absorbed misery? Open your eyes and see it, it's there. Take 15 minutes today alone and REALLY REALLY think about what I just said. It was not said out of hate, malice or cold indifference. It was said out of concern and it was something you REALLY needed to hear. In the end the choice is all yours and your the only one who can make that decision.

Oh...don't ever do that...would you think you have peace after doing that? Can u afford to leave your family? you loved ones? You have to enjoy life.

number1fan, I hope you are reading this. I know you wrote you original post yesterday, but my puter wasn't working then. Hey, I was abused,beaten raped and molested when I was a kid also. It took me a long time,therapy,antidepressant medicine because I was diagnosed with clinical depression due to post traumatic stress disorder(PTSD).I finally came to the conclusion that my life is special. Yeah, I went through some major crap as a kid, but I am a survivor. Hey, you made it through all that crap also, you must be a survivor also. After discovering that I found my way to Jesus. What a high that has been. He just proved I was right and my life is worth something. It might be tough sometimes, but Jesus is with me all of the time now. He gets me through the tough days. Please make an appointment right away to go to a psychiatrist. Don't let the word psychiatrist scare you. All I do is sit in a chair across from him and talk. We experimented with a couple of different anti depressents until we found the right one for me. Please go right away. Your life matters. Besides your friends and family and yes me too would feel horrible if you end your own life. I don't have to know you personally to care. We have so much in common I feel I know you anyhow. Even as a stranger you are important to me. I want you to live. Please keep in contact and let me know how you are doing.

I hope you are ok.

I am glad to hear that you are ok

Well hope you are fine. This post is about 10 months old. I really hope you are ok. Always remember one thing....finally its the relation between you and God that matters. All other relations are false. What your father did to you was horrible. But he will pay for it. You will not know though. Because God takes care of each and every sin commited. You have to have faith and patience. God watches everybody and gives only that much amount of pain which one can handle. Inspite of the odds you faced, if you serve God, you will the one whom God will love most. You will have a new life and all your pains will vanish.

you have been raped by your father at the age of 5 Is it true? why have you kept silent for the past 17 years. Haven't you told about this incident to your mother. you have only one life and you have no right to take your own life. The scars will be there in your mind but time is good healing factor.

What a desperate attempt for attention. Sorry but I can't take this seriously for a minute .. I hope you know that someone could pick up the phone, call 9-1-1 and report this post. Then they will trace the IP address and show up at your door and put you under observation for 72 hours. Then I am sure you will get all the attention you desire and seek.

Please don't go through with it. I'm so sorry to hear all the bad things that have happened to you. It's so painful. Unfortunately life is not perfect but that doesn't mean you should give up. Life is a constant struggle. You know what my acronym for LIFE is? Live In Full Endurance. But life is also a gift from God. THat's why you can't end it. Because God gave you life. Please seek PROFESSIONAL HELP! And pray to God. He WILL help you. Just have faith and unburden yourself to him. He is the one who can help you the most. Best wishes... :)

Dear number1fan, what you do is wrong. It is not good to hate one's own self. Life is too precious to be affected by things that are beyond our control. I would just like to say that in times of adversity a person's real guts and patience are put to test and that is when his true qualities and attributes come out. Everyone has their own problems in this world and if they followed in your footsteps the world would be empty by now. So, discard the self-hatred feelings or frustration and move ahead in life and always remember you are not alone. Good luck!

You are someone..you are loved..you are loved by God and you are loved by others like myself because you are Gods creation..you were hurt by someone who has evil in their heart..but that doesn't have to be the end of the story..there is hope..I am 38 years old and an Adult Survivor of Child Abuse..I know a little bit about how you are feeling right now..and I can tell you from experience that it does get better..the pain does subside..but you have to take the proper steps to get the help you need. The first step I took was to get in touch with the Lord..and pray..and let the love of God soothe my soul..take away the anger I was feeling..next step was counceling..this is something you may need for the rest of your life..as I do..but for my future it is something I am willing to do to help myself heal. And a healed heart feels really good. You will feel good about yourself again..you will trust others..and may even let someone else in your heart..you may experience true love..But first steps first..you can go from church to church if you don't have a church..decide which you like best..introduce yourself..ask for help..or just pray. Then get ahold of your local Health Department..they will tell you what to do. I wish the best to you..and hope the healing process starts for you soon. God loves you and so do I..You are special no matter what!

I hope you will not do this? Is this a joke? Your life is more then that. the creep who did that to you will get his. that was his problem. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. There are many people out there to talk to and would be your friend. Running away from the problem is no solution. Don't let this stuff ruin your life and what a good person you are. Just do one day at a time and you will be ok.