Do I have the right to be called grandmother

Certainly you are the legal grandmother as you have adopted the son long ago,why would they get the impression that you didnt want to be bothered? Do they live close enough to come over often? Make an offer to babysit the baby so they can have a evening alone or just go shopping oe something like that.Also it could be the daughter -in law pulling the strings so dont take it out on yourself.

I think you are overreacting just a little. You may want to talk to your family about how you feel. You are a grandmother. I think you may need to look more into the matter. I think they love you very much, and the baby needs more than one grandmother. You will be fine. Don't feel bad, talk about it first. You may be surprised to find that they love you and appreciate you more than you realize. I'll send you my blessings. I hope all goes well.

You raised your son? You are the only mother he has ever nown? Then you are the baby's grandmother.You should talk to your son and tell him you want to see more of your grandchild. Is this your first grand child? If so, you should insist that you do more. Tell him you need the practice, how else will you know how to spoil the next grand children?So talk to your son and I bet you will get to see your grandbaby more. Good Luck. Take Care.

Considering you adopted your son, then yes you have the right to be called grandmother. My mom has a phrase. "When a daughter gets married you gain a son. When a son gets married, you lose a son." Basically she means that the husband does what the wife wants, and it's usually to spend more time with her own family than with his. It doesn't matter if you get on well with her or not, she is not your daughter, and she may feel uncomfortable around you, especially in this new and momentous role as a mother. She wants HER mother around, unfortunately, not you. If your son were to say, "Darling, I want to go see my parents", odds are his wife would agree, however, as a man, he's not going to do that. It's his wife who reminds him to do that, and right now, she's distracted. My suggestion is to call his wife, and ask her how she is doing first, new mom's feel left out sometimes because everyone is so focused on the new baby, they kind of get pushed to the side, and then ask about the baby. While doing that, you can mention, to her, that you guys are available if they need anything. Ask her if they are available to have dinner with you and your husband, maybe a couple of times a month, depending on if they live local or not. Try to connect with his wife, especially now that she has a new little one, and she will push her husband to be more involved with you.

Trust me that kind of sensitivity ruins relationship! Learn to get over thing and to put things aside. More then like half of your feelings and thoughts never crossed anyone mind and won't understand where your coming from. Step out of your comfort zone and put your arms around your children and make it known you are Grandma! I think I can relate to your son when he says they don't want to bother you. I never wanted to bother my parents either. My parents always gave us the feeling that we were a bother. Just think about it. Maybe there is a reason they are feeling like they dont' want to bother you. At the same time I bet he is longing for you to be more forthright in acting like the babies grandma. Get in there show more excitment call for no reason and ask how every one is doing and ask if there is anything you can do. Don't let your insecurities ruin a beautiful thing!

I understand how you feel a bit I really do. My parents aren't my birth parents either and at times I think they wonder if sometimes they aren't needed anymore. My mother told me that she doesn't expect my children to call her grandma and if they don't want to she won't force them to. I just looked at her a bit shocked. To me she is their grandmother, maybe not by blood but by everything else that counts. Just like to me her mother is my grandmother. Well she's Nanna but its still the same thing. In my case I came into the family at an when I was almost practicly an adult. I'll tell you like this though. Blood doesn't make the faimly, the people in it do. I would sit and tell your son how you feel. He might not even realize whats going on and the fact that he's hurt your feelings.

If you are a mother to your son, adoptive or otherwise, then you are a grandmother to his children, be they adopted too, or biological. Grandmother isn't in how often you see the children, it's about who yu are in the family.

My stepdaughter calls my mom and dad "grandma and grandpa". I figure in todays world kids can use all the grandparents they can get. So I would say yes you are a grandparent.

How lovely. What a wonderful priviledge you have welcoming another little life into your family. A real blessing. As your relationship grows it will be rewarded when this little person calls you grandma. Its a special thing between the two of you. Enjoy.

I don't see why you wouldn't be this baby's grandmother. It is the child of your son. It shouldn't matter how you became his mother. I would guess that they are probably just feeling protective like most first time parents. They might also think that now that you have your children raised you're enjoying your "freedom" and they don't want to interfere with your "life" in that way. Just talk to your son and I'm sure the problem will be easily solved. I'm not an adoptive mother or even a "step-mother" but I know I have every intention of enjoying any babies that my s/o's children have as if they are my grandchildren even though they will probably start coming long before I'll be "old enough" to be a grandmother....I'm only 11 years older than his son.

I think that your adoptive son needs to be horsewhipped. I don't believe that being a blood relative makes you any more or less a mother. That's just sad. I hope that by now, he has come to his senses and will bring the baby over more. If not...call him and say "I want to see the baby." period. Don't give him an option. Yes, it is your grandchild too!

Of course, you are still the grandmom under the circumstance that you are in..I understand your concern, and also your excitement to see and visit the new baby in the family. Even if your son may not have meant to hurt you, but I understand how you felt about being told that they, your son, don't want to bother you. But you can always visit them especially the baby if you can, there's nothing wrong with it. After all, you are family, and no one can prevent you from visiting your grandchild.

Since the relationship between you and your adoptive son exists, for sure you have the right to be called grandmother. You have taken so much trouble bringing him up with your own money, your energy and your time, etc, treating him like your own son. It is really not easy for you and your husband. Anyway it is not nice of him to say that they don't want to bother you, which is not the attitude he holds. I hope that you are happy and now your adpotive son and daughter-in-law come to see you often. He should understand the feeling of a mother and father so nice and kind to him.

You are definitely a real grandmother. I don't think the issue revolves around your son being adoptive or biological. It really just sounds like he doesn't realize that you really would like to be more involved with your granddaughter. I would suggest you make a concious effort to invite them over, give them a call and offer to watch the baby on a Friday night so they can go to a movie, etc.

Of course you are a real grandmother since you raised your son as your own. Bear in mind that with a new baby the couple is very preoccupied and have to deal with new things and problems. You should not be hurt by your son's comment. Why are you hurt? Be cheerful and invite the young family over as often as you can and if they say no accept it gracefully. Be supportive but let the visits be on their terms. Offer any help you can, suggest to your husband that you go over to their place for the day when the baby is older so the young couple can have a day for themselves to go shopping or just enjoy each other without worry. I am sure your son loves you as he always has, but his own family is now number one.

I have two son's,that are my birth son's.My youngest son was engaged to a girl that already has a child and they had a baby.The first three months of her life I saw her three times and they only lived 5 blocks down the street with her mom and stepdad.Her other daughter I asked her to call me grandma too.She has nothing to do with her birth father's family.I found that if it's your son's child,not your daughter's then those grandparents have a closer relationship unless they live far away or if they live with you.Iam begining to think that is just life.My son and that girl broke up and I have seen my own grandaughter and he has seen his own daughter maybe once in six weeks.I really don't think it has anything to do with adoption.The mother is closer to the baby and she is close to her parent's so they spend more time together.

Hello suspenseful, Sometime adoptive relations do have close and strong attachments.Newly born cute is a right of it's grandmother(blood or adopted). SO pl.don't hesitate,go and meet your grandchild. As soon as you see and take the baby all your queries will be over.

Congratulations on your new granddaughter, suspenseful! Of course you ARE her grandmother. Whether or not her father is natural born or adopted makes no difference. You raised him as your son, didn't you? In my book, that makes you Grandma. And don't mind what your husband said--sometimes men just blurt out stuff without thinking. I will just laugh it off. As for your son saying they don't want to bother you, sometimes you have to read between the lines. Maybe he is really saying that he would love for you to offer to come see the baby and them. Just think of the new baby and how wonderful it would be to cuddle her. I had a stroke last year and although I love babies, I cannot hold them while I am standing up, but I will sit down and ask to hold the baby. I explain that I would like them to support my arm while I am holding the baby, because of weakness in my left arm. But I don't let that hold me back, I just ask to hold the baby. I wouldn't hold off enjoying that baby if I were you. You deserve to be in her life, as you shared your life with her father, your son. Blessings to you, my friend!

Absolutely an adoptive mother has a right to be a grandmother. Suspensful, thank you for sharing with such honesty.