To get a house and nanny or not?
By sheryllontok
@sheryllontok (71)
Philippines
June 27, 2007 6:20pm CST
We're still living at my in-laws' house, and my mother-in-law takes care of my daughter while they're waiting for me to come home after work. I leave my daughter at my parents' house before I go to work, then my MIL picks her up after 4PM. I really want to get our own house, but I don't want to get a helper because I don't know them and my child will be left alone with that helper. What do you think should I do, stick with the current situation or get a nanny? I'm getting confused because with the current set up, I can not tell my MIL that she shouldn't do this or that, simply because she's my MIL. Plus, she likes my daughter to be closer to her than to us. With a nanny, I can tell her the things that I want to impose, I can lay the rules on the grounds, but I don't know if I'll be able to trust her completely.
3 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
28 Jun 07
I don't know why you need a nanny at all - why cant you get a place of your own & still allow your mother to take care of your child until you finish work?
It means you wont have to find someone suitable, you also wont have to pay them & your child will be with someone they are happy & comfortable with already.
So maybe you could go & get your own place but still allow her Grandparents to help with the caring - then everyone is happy & you're not having to fork out extra money for someone elses assistance.
So yeah, stick with the current helping arrangements but mvoe out so you have your own place. Then only some of your current routine will have to change.
@sheryllontok (71)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
Yes, I got your point, good one. I enjoy the current set up, but there are things that can be complicated at times, that is why my husband and I are planning to have our own place. Also, we want a house near our workplace, because we travel for 2 hours everyday just to go to work and 2 hours on our way back. This can be very exhausting, and it will be useless to get our own place near our parents' house if we'll be traveling the same no. of hours. Plus, there will be issues on my in-laws' side such as they're not treating us right that's why we have to move out, things like that. I think we'll move out next year when my daughter is ready to go to school already, and we'll start to find a good helper.
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
28 Jun 07
why don't u get a nanny but leave security cameras (w/o telling her) around the house so u can make sure she's taking good care of ur baby! my mil used to watch my kids and we allowed her to live with us rent free, but my son grew way too close to her and i didnt like it, he started calling her mom, so i told my hubby to charge his mom rent and he got a better paying job so i could stay home with my own kids. but now i think i have to get a weekend job b/c our bills r getting a bit outta control and my mil is moving out so we won't get her rent anymore.
@sheryllontok (71)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
Good suggestion, I think I'll try that when I found a suitable nanny already.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
28 Jun 07
Well, I never had the luxury of a parent or and in-law to watch my son. I interviewed a lot of people and talked with a lot of people about their sitters and daycare situation when I went to hire a sitter.
I always was able to find reputable, reliable sitters based on my interviews and references from friends.
If you want control you must take responsibility.
@sheryllontok (71)
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
I think I will try to start interviewing possible sitters.
