How to get my beloved to trust me?
By Syrentie
@Syrentie (17)
Latvia
June 28, 2007 4:57pm CST
It seems I have fallen in love ith someone who is a wild wolf! He trust absolutely no one and tries to push people away. Whenever he sits in a company of someone new to him, he always keeps quite and simply observes. When he is in my company and my company only, he is a great, loving, joyful, social person. So I assume he trusts me a bit more than others. But the problem is -- he doesn't trust me completely. I know he has some sort of "dark secret" he really wants to tell me, but is afraid or doesn't trust me enough to spill it out. I just really would like to show him that I will accept whatever he has to say. But when I try to somehow raise the subject, he just pushes me away. Not in a mean manner, but he still never says what I need to hear. I feel it's important for him and he wants to share, but he just can't do it... Any ideas on how to help us both?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@jenius (131)
• United States
29 Jun 07
I know exactly what you're saying my boy friend too had a hard time trusting me after being hurt by someone else. He is very outgoing and friendly but always holds back on the issue of trust. Just being patient.loving and steady did the trick for me. It took time to gain his trust but, just sticking with him and being supportive made a difference. Whatever it is he doesn't want to talk about I wouldn't push him for that. In time if it is something you need to know he may step out of his comfort zone and confide in you. I think pushing him will make it more difficult. Good luck to you.
@liyan97 (2127)
• Northern Mariana Islands
28 Jun 07
Hello Serenytie and welcome to MyLot!
How long have you been with your boyfriend? I know that it must be frustrating for you, but you have to just be patient. It is hard to trust someone completely especially, if you have experienced disappointment before.
He must have love for you because you two are together. All I can say to you is to stick it out! You can not force someone to tell you something, if they are not ready to. Honestly, it sounds to me like he has had a bad experience before that has lead him to put up his guard. If that’s the case then there is nothing you can do but be patient with him. He will know when the time is right to tell you. You have got to just be there for him and continue to show him that you are there to support him no matter what the situation.
Like everything else in life time will play a huge part! Trust is something that one has to earn and although it sounds to me that you really love him and trust him completely, we are all different and in some cases it takes us longer than others to begin to trust.
Just have faith in your relationship and it will happen soon enough, don’t give up on it and don’t pester him about it either! Just be there for him as much as you can be.
