What are the best ways of getting a doctors sick note for school or work?

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I heard salt under the arm pit will raise your temperature from normal 97.3 to 101-102 for 20 minutes any other bright ideas I want to write a book on the subject. If you really want to get out of working though.. its recommended to actually make yourself sick. There are two simple means to this end: #1. Self-suggestion. Tell yourself you're sick. force yourself to cough a lot. just to yourself. and try to absolutely convince yourself that you're not well. If nothing else it should make you more susceptible to any illnesses that happen to be floating around, and might temporarily result in you actually manifesting true symptoms if you believe it enough. #2. Consume foodstuffs that you know you're allergic to... preferably in large quantities. That should provoke a reaction from your body. You could try poisoning yourself any number of ways, but I wouldn't recommend going that far.. Just don't try to trick a doctor into writing you a note.. Its a silly plan. If you're that desperate for help, I hope you've got friends who are studying medicine at University.. since they could get you out of this.