My 16-year-old daughter just had a fight-I want some advice please!
By sodapop
@sodapop (977)
United States
June 30, 2007 3:51am CST
She thinks since it is summertime she should be allowed to be on the internet for as long as she wants to. She has to be off during the school year by 10:00pm, but most of the time she doesn't have time for the internet during school. I told her she had to be off at 2:00am this morning, and she said that she slept in today so why am I punishing her. I tried to explain she doesn't need to be on the chat rooms in the middle of the night, even though I know where she goes to chat and what they are chatting about. Am I right about setting a limit at 2:00am? She doesn't talk on the phone, she IM's her friends. She's in the house by 10:00pm. I'm so tired, I need some advice on this. Let her stay on the internet, or set a time limit. Thanks for your help.
5 people like this
8 responses
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
30 Jun 07
you are definatly right by setting a time limit. whether or not its summer vacation there is no reason why a 16 year old girl should be in a chat room that late..i would have extended the time to perhaps midnight..no way id go for 2 am..but thats just me and im kind of strict lol.
even if you feel that you know what they are chatting about..its better safe than sorry.
2 people like this
@sodapop (977)
• United States
30 Jun 07
Thank you, I think I will move it to midnight. I warned her that we were going to have rules change tomorrow. And you know, she is a really good kid, but that's not what has me so scarred. It's who she is chatting with, or who she thinks she's chatting with. I made up a list of things she can not put on the internet and it's posted next to her computer. Things like, her real name, address, age, town she lives in, ect. but I still worry. I am strict to, dad is the push over and gave her the 2:00am...I am going to over rule him...LOL...won't be the first time..LOL.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
30 Jun 07
I think you are right too by setting a time limit. Tell her in no way its because you do not trust her but because she needs to sleep too even though its summer vacation. No matter if she is a good girl you do need to be alert as the other person she may be talking to may not be a good one. These days you can not trust strangers. May be you can reach compromise thqat if she sleeps by 12 then she can use net for two hours in the day time too. That should make it up.
@sodapop (977)
• United States
1 Jul 07
You are so right...that is what is really bothering me...who else is on the net that time of night. She knew I was mad from last night, so she got off tonight at 9:00 pm and told me she doesn't like to make me mad and she probably shouldn't be on the net that late. I didn't know what to say, so I just said you are smarter than most 30 year olds I know. I knew you had a good head on your shoulders. She left the room and I had to pick up my jaw off the floor...LOL...guess she is growing up.
@TheCatzMeow1 (579)
• United States
1 Jul 07
She should abide by your rules no matter how unfair she thinks it is. We're usually rewarded for doing good, not for breaking the rules. We need to set limits for a reason. It's not like we're out to get them like they think we are. LOL Teens, they're so hard to live with but you gotta love'em. Good luck.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
4 Jul 07
I think you need to set that time limit. And your daughter needs to respect it. It's your home, and she needs to follow your rules. She's lucky that you're lenient enough to let her stay on until 2:00am. My kids have to be off before midnight, or they are grounded from the computer for a week. It sounds like you might need to move the computer to a location where you can keep an eye on it. If it's in her room, definitely get it out of there. That's more of a hassle than it's worth. I think there's also a way to set the parental controls so that she can only be on until the set time. I'm just not able to remember just now how to do it. Good luck with this hon.
1 person likes this
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
30 Jun 07
You have to be firm on this, otherwise your daughter might think that she's free to do whatever pleases her. Go ahead and set limit on her chatting activities..it's not the chatting on the net per se, it's more of a good discipline for her which she can carry with her when she becomes an adult herself. It's checking on her whims so that she learns to restrain her desires. You are the parent and you should set rules; explain to her that you are not in the mood to fight with her and she just have to heed the time you set for her because it is for her own good. Good luck...hope you'll make it. Cheers!
@sodapop (977)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Oh I'm used to putting my foot down with my daughter. I don't usually have to put my foot down with her, but now if I talk things out and tell her my reasons for it, and then listen to her side(which I think is the key to it)we come to a compromise all the time.
@babystar1 (4233)
• United States
30 Jun 07
I have the same problem with my granddaughter. She comes to my house and spends the night and is on the computer with her friends till 6:ooam in the morning. I got out of bed the other night and it was like 3:00am in the morning and she was still on the computer. I told her to get to bed right now or she will not be allowed to use it the next time she spends the night.But when I got up at 6:ooam she was still on it. Was I mad, I told her get off. she got off and went to bed and slept untill 2:00pm. My granddaughter is 17. Kids are spending to much time on the computers.
I have a friend and she told me that her 11 year old granddaughter is also spending a lot of time on the computer to. If its not the computer it's the phone.I think to best thing you can do is put a password in the computer and they cant go on untill you put in the password in for them.And st a time limit.
1 person likes this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
30 Jun 07
Oh those teenages!No you are not wrong and you have to set the limits at your household . Instead of internet all day does she go out and b e with her friends for social activities. I know school is out but there are things that she can do instead of internet. I think you did the right thing. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@sodapop (977)
• United States
1 Jul 07
usually all her friends are at my house...she is very busy...she is drawing pictures to enter into the state fair, she has cheerleading practice 5 times a week, and she is planning a huge sleepover/4th of July party. I'm surprise she has time to get on the net. She had a car wash today for the cheerleaders. Plus she has a boyfriend. That's who I think she really is talking to on the net.
