Trying to get my girls to listen to me
By drummell
@drummell (66)
United States
June 30, 2007 9:52am CST
Does anyone have some advise to getting children to listen better. I can say something to my girls and ask them five minutes later what I said and they couldn't tell you. I try to get them to sit down and look at me when I talk to them, but they still seem to take what I say, in one ear and out the other. Any advise would help.
2 people like this
3 responses
@coferbox (298)
• United States
30 Jun 07
How old are your kids? Knowing their age might help. Are they old enough to remember what you said five minutes later?
If so then I can tell you kids will never listen until you unless they know they have to. If you tell them that you are going to spank them or put then in the corner or whatever if they don't mind then you had better do it! Because otherwise they know that you don't mean what you say and they really don't have to mind. If you let your kids walk all over you then you will never have their respect and if you don't have their respect you are in for a rough road - and so is everyone else that has to be around your kids.
2 people like this
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
30 Jun 07
I often ask my children to say back to me what I said immediately after I say it. Not just when they are in trouble, but as a way to make sure we're on the same page about whatever is going on. If I'm taking my son out to run errands for example, I'll prep him for the trip by telling him we are going out to do X, Y and Z, we'll eat lunch between Y and Z. Then I will have him repeat it back to me. Where are we going? What are we doing when we get there? Then he is prepared, and knows what to expect. It's actually a technique I learned in a communications class in college. I've changed the words I use to make it kid-friendly, but I do it myself when I talk to people. When someone tells me something, I listen & then repeat to them what I think they just told me; if there is any confusion about what they said & what they meant, it's cleared up immediately.
1 person likes this
@coferbox (298)
• United States
1 Jul 07
They are old enough to listen to what you say. I bet they don't have trouble remembering when their favorite show is one or that you said they could get ice cream. You will have to be stern with them an make them listen -kids will always test to see what they can get away with, it's part of the growing process. If they find they can get away with not listening to you then they won't.
1 person likes this
@coferbox (298)
• United States
1 Jul 07
eden, that is a great idea. I did use to do that with my daughter - she is 20 years old now so I had almost forgot about that until I read your post. Especially if the TV was on or something was distracting her I would ask her 'what did I just say' and make her repeat it so that I knew she heard and I would also know she understood.
1 person likes this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
30 Jun 07
Ohh myy!1 i am right here with you my friend!! and i have been feeling gray hairs grow more and more each day lol! Ihave a 5 year old son..and he has now slective hearing..whines all the time..says NOO!! and ohhh!! i want to tan his bum everytime i hear it!! i hate that and wont put up with it! or he throws tantrums..i dont know whats goin on..it just came out of no where..maybe its the new friends he has made and watched how they act..because he has been the best childf or em and i have been blessed..now..my sweet little man is driving me nutts!Sooo.. I have been taking away his favorite toys..includsing playatsion..his favorite..and he doesnt get it back till he straightens up..but never gets it back taht same day or your right back where u started..And..today i thought of a points system..i made papers..and have it Mon-Sun..and he gets points for helping..picking up..etc//but when hes bad i take points away..This is like an extra bonus..so as of now..i have for today..he had 2 points for picking up his mess..and he was bad once already for ignoring me..so i took one away..and then come payday i told him if he has 50 points..which is monthly..i wil buy him a toy for a prize..which he was soo excited he has been doing fabulous!! But if hes really bad i will stil take away his toy..and take away points..i think this wil work..wel i hope!! lol..and il let ya know how things go..but honestly im so tired of yellign all the time..i exhaust myself..so this way..he sees himself on the frigerator..what he needs..50..and what he has..what ya think?
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
30 Jun 07
hey again :) well yayy! i am soo glad i was some help to you!! i also have it on my computer for me in case the paper should..ho should i say..come up mysteriously missing soemday hehehe..ya hes a smart 5 yr old lol..and i wil tel u what..he has changed his act like asap!! and i love it!! he wants a skateboard..soo i raised the points to 100 for a mth..he has till July 31..he has been asking me alll day..can i do soemthing for you mom?? look i picked up toys..and nowww its yess momma..no matter what i ask!! omg im in heaven!although i wont be spending as much money on him every mth..but next pay if he makes it..it will make him strive to be better..and im so excited..i hope it lasts! lol..plzz let me know how thigns go wil u?
1 person likes this
@drummell (66)
• United States
30 Jun 07
My youngest daughter does the same thing. Constant whining and throwing fits when she doesn't get what she want. So its most of the time. I've thought about a rewards chart but haven't gotten around to it. You're points program sounds very rewarding. Let me know how it works. I'm going to work on one too and see how my girls react to it. Or rewards chart. Pretty much the same thing. But I've also thought of working into the program, one night a week they get to pick what they want for dinner, or desert if they can prove to be good for so many days with no whining and complete listening. Let me know how your plan works out.
1 person likes this
