Middle Child syndrome
By phoebs
@phoebs (22)
United States
July 2, 2007 12:53pm CST
I was told that middle child in the family tense to feel left out, and think that their parent doesn't love them. I happen to be the youngest. Which people always say " what a lucky feller, your parent must be love you the most!" .
Frankly, I think my parent love all three of our sibling equally. Until recently, I learn that my sister, the middle child of three of us, feel that my parent doesn't love her at all since young.
But I am very sure that they love her. Since young her character is very rebellious, and no body in the family seems be able to advise her on what ever she is doing, cos she will take it the wrong way, and worsen her act.
Just want to know any body encounter that situation, regardless if you are the middle child in the family, or any child in the family that experience that kind of behavior?
I really wish to learn how to advise my sister and let her know that my parent love her equally. As it is really hurtful to my mum that my sister told everyone that my mum doesn't love her, but me.
She even said that if my mum start to love her now, it's too late. Please give me your experience. By the way, my sis is in her early 30s, with kids and divorce ( which she chose to married young, even at that time, my parent advise her not to)
2 people like this
4 responses
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
3 Jul 07
I have middle child syndrome! Both my brother and sister have always had problems and they always needed extra attention and I always felt like i was missing out and to make matters worse I always got my sisters hand me down clothes, I rarely ever got new clothes of my own! I dont think that you can fix something like this, just accept that this is how your sister feels and move on.... you cant change how she felt when she was growing up!
1 person likes this
@axter69 (379)
•
3 Jul 07
my wife is the middle of three and she had a ruff time I think, she did not have the free rain her sister had as they learnt from there mistakes, yet she was not shown the affection that her brother gets.
I am a only child so have no first hand experince with this but Iwould have to say from speaking with my wife there was a favouritism there.
starnge I know but thats how she felt
@phoebs (22)
• United States
4 Aug 07
It is good that you can understand how your wife feel, I guess she will be very happy to know about that.
May be because I only go home once in a year since I was 18 ( due to studying out of state), probably my mum will show extra care like cooking some nice dishes for that week when I was home. That could be one of the reason that might make the situation worst. I do appreciate the nice home cook food that I can only enjoy once in a year,but that might rarely happen to my sis since she stayed in the same city ( just 5min drive away) from my parent.
I am not sure if that could be considered as favoritism.
@syndibee (799)
• United States
3 Jul 07
i am a middle child. two older and two younger. i often did feel left out as i was too old to participate in the younger ones activities and too young to participate in the older ones activities. my parents never made me feel less loved though. i remember my mom throwing a halloween party where i was able to participate in both the little kids section and the older kids section, it really meant alot to me that she did that just for me.
your sister decides how she's going to behave and feel, there's nothing anyone else can do to make her feel differently. as a part of a family we all have to accept our position and act accordingly, she chose to rebel and act out, and though she blames it on being the middle child, that's just her cop-out. my own sister (who was 2nd oldest) had that same behavioral pattern.
i think i would concentrate on making your mum feel better rather than your sis, she's just being obstinant and not wanting to hear what anyone else has to say.
