Hate love?
By mari_skye
@mari_skye (1637)
Philippines
July 2, 2007 7:24pm CST
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
I got the foregoing paragraph in the email just this morning. It's so sad. I have never been hurt by love so I cannot really imagine how it must have affected the writer. Still, I do not agree with her (I'm guessing the writer is a she.) Is being hurt a reason to hate love?
5 people like this
17 responses
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
3 Jul 07
i should not be judgemental, Mari. you never know what fate begets one. She must be having her own reasons. i know, how bad it hurts, i have been into it and i know it feels as bad as you can get.
but, i appreciate your point of view as well. hurts, pains are all but integral part of love. we shouldnot hate it for the hurts and pains for what we gain from it is heavenly.
1 person likes this
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Yea, it may have hurt her that much I get. I didn't mean to be judgemental in my statement, it just baffles me that beeing hurt by love, she is willing to give up on it. Anyway, thanks for sharing mimpi.
@rnldgallo (5)
•
3 Jul 07
u wil nver know how much you love the some1 unless that some1 hurts you.. yeah well it really sucks wen you got hurt by it but,i mean cmon ders a lot of peopl to choose.. ryt...
@rnldgallo (5)
•
3 Jul 07
and also with dio you know wat dude no one cares alryt..
hehe no offens men.. its show bizz..
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
Being in love is a risk. It's something that actually is your choice. You don't really choose who to fall in love with. But you choose if you go for the feeling or let it pass.
I'm saddened by the expression of the topic, it seems you were badly hurt by love. Are you sure what you felt was love? or a mere infatuation and you thought of it as love?
You should know how to control yourself. If you see that the one you shared your heart with is someone not worth, You should know how to let go instantly.
Yeah, it takes years of experience and hurt to finally see the person you love and could love you.
But just remember this. Every bad relationship is a stepping stone that leads to the right one for you. Yes, you may be sad and hurt now, but it just shows that you are human and you know how to love. So don't let the hurt stop you from finding the person for you.
But most importantly. Grow from the feeling. If you made a mistake before, remind yourself to grow.
And someday, you may find that someone who had been hurt all their lives too. But is now ready to have you.
Love is such a wonderful feeling to have. Many try to look for it, but only a few (those who work had for it) is lucky enough to find it.
1 person likes this
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Nope, that was not my own experience, it's an email sent by a friend. I got interested in it, because as you have said,it is very sad. And to think the writer was willing to give up on love, sadder still. Thanks for sharing.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Oh, I thought it was yours. *LOL* glad it's only from an email. You made me worry there. Yeah it's really sad.
Anyways, thank you very much for the best response vote. I'm really thankful, didn't expect it.
Thank you for the reply though. You take care and keep Posting!
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Sad to hear that. But I still hold on to my belief that we should not hate love:P Thanks for sharing.
@wendy82 (437)
• United States
3 Jul 07
Yes I have. But sometime the person that you think you are in love with turns out to be the wrong person. Because one minute they are nice and next minute they are mean to you. Sometimes it is a reason to hate love. If you have been hurt too many times. Where you can not even look at the person that you are going out with. I dont understand why people have to go and cheat on their partner but then turn around and lie to them about things. I know people have all types of emoticons.
1 person likes this
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Well, it probably just the way they are. Thanks for sharing.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
3 Jul 07
I have been hurt by love and it is just as that writer describes. Oh how painful to trust and love and be betrayed.
I don't hate love. You can not base a few or even several bad experiences on the entire human race. You have to keep your heart open for love and always hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, cry, shrug and move on. I don't regret even my most hurtful relationships for they were once just exactly what I wanted and needed in my life. I have learned from them what I like in a person and what I don't. I hang onto the good memorys and learn from the bad. My very worst experiences have helped me to appreciate those that are kind and honest all the more. I have learned to not take anything or anyone for granted.
1 person likes this
@Titanum (98)
• Australia
4 Jul 07
That is an amazing piece. I can associate with what the email you recieved said. Love hurts, love is a raw emotion something primal that we cannot fight, and when we are left standing there, unable to breath, think, function, after we have opened our soul to someone who decided to pry it from our chest, throw it to the ground and crush it, we stand there, damaged, alone, vulnerable, incomplete because the second they slammed your heart into the ground and went to walk off, they took a piece, a piece that you will never see, or feel, or be able to give to another.
They say fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.. unfortunately, no matter what the defense, no matter how our fortress is built, there will always be a trojan horse that we can not resist, temptation is too great. It will come in the form of a smile, a kind word, a selfless action, a gesture and we will fight it, we will crumble and rebuild ourselves right in front of that horse because we remember how we felt, and will feel that they are only out to get us, to render us devoid and we know what it felt like last time.
The sufferance is too great and etched into our memory, into our soul. They too will resist our defenses, they will penetrate by any means necessary and they will repair us because they too have been in love and they too know what it felt like, and they will give us that missing piece from themselves and make us whole, as they too had someone penetrate themselves and repair what was thought unrepairable. even if a short while. They will allow us to heal. As a whole, and you will wonder why you ever built that defense, why you gained doubt, why you opened yourself when you thought you would be silenced forever.
I have been hurt in the past, so bad i thought i would never have the ability to love someone again. Through the years if there is one thing i have learned, it is the absense of love, that hurts, not love itself.
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
Very wisely said, thank you for that well written response.
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
I have been reading articles about falling in love and get hurt.I knew and learned that being hurt is not right to hate love.It always said that you need to be thankful that once in your life,you feel that special and great feelings.Me, i dont hate love,but i just simply dont trust no one because of being hurt out of love.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
Love do make us hurt and become vulnerable. But I consider it as what makes this life interesting. When one gets hurt and fall in love, one learns something about oneself, about life and love itself. I can't live without love no matter what. I know I would hurt in loving but I would still love because it makes my life so much better and richer.
@di1indilin (802)
• India
3 Jul 07
Nope, it just shows the immaturity of the humn mind that's all, love is great, it's a part of life
@markgadiano (895)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
We in the asian country could really not understand what the western people were saying. Surely the one you are saying came from the western world. In asia we have a very close family ties, unlike them they are on their own. We in asia really value love and we dont want to hurt anybody. As much as possible we want to please everybody. When we were hurts we think lots of reason why we are hurt, and we can easily forgive. In western world they dont bother who will be hurt when say something unlike us we do care for that. Now with this premise how can you hate love? The fact that you already want to understand the person who hurts you thats the difference. So, try not to understand everybody surely you will hate love..
1 person likes this
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
3 Jul 07
Hi mari. Its true that love hurts. most of the time people are betrayed in love. Peope shower false love just to take advantage of the other.
But love is such, that even after feeling hurt we go in search for love. I have also been betrayed in love earlier. BUT I DONT HATE LOVE.
sOME DO BECAUSE THEY JUST ARE TOTALLY BROKEN.
1 person likes this
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
But it is so sad to just give up on love. It's such a wonderful feeling.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
actually you want to hate love but still..you can't escape it.. being hurt by love..you can only heal by loving again..at leat that's what i think.....
you won't hate love but you would fear love and loving again..
it's so painful,i ask why it's like that..i always ask myself and God..why it must have to be that way..
it really hurts..very painful indeed..
1 person likes this
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
Yes...and for sure it will make you crazy sometimes.
1 person likes this
@mari_skye (1637)
• Philippines
3 Jul 07
Hmmm... I see. I guess you're right, I hear a lot of people who do crazy things because they have been hurt.
@Ravrockin (281)
• India
3 Jul 07
yes i fall in love an still i am in love and i dont want to go out of it