Why do some women seem to be attracted to violent men

There are several reasons why women are attracted to violet men. One of the biggest reasons is that their parents were in an abusive relationship and they are following the example set by their parents. Sometimes women don't know the man is violent until it is to late. These men are often charming during the dating period and don't show their true character until sometimes after the wedding or deep into the relationship. Also there are several different types of abuse - you don't have to hit a woman to abuse her. Verbal abuse is on the rise in relationships today and it can be either the man or woman that is verbally abused. I have a webpage that I have set up on verbal abuse if anyone here is interested. http://www.freewebs.com/coferbox/aboutverbalabuse.com/htm

i don't know why women would be attracted to these men to begin with but what i know is that some of these women just feel trapped and they are just scared to be alone. i'm sure no one wants to be beaten but after these guys beat them, they would come through and then these women are won over. some of the violent guys are great romancers, i'd have to agree, and i guess these women are more of looking into the better days than the bad days, even if it killed them. insane, isn't it? but i'm sure they will have reasons to justify they're being attracted to these kinds of men that we won't be able to understand.

how i see it is that woman are only attracted to violent men because they feel as they have no other choice (if that makes sense) they make you think that they love you. i awhile back i was attracted to someone who was violent, and i kept going back for more, because i felt as though i couldnt do any better or have anyone better and even had it drummed into my head i dont deserve any better. the only thing for women to do is get up and walk out of the relatioship and dont go back, i did that and best decision to do but some cant do that or wont do that.

I think some women have a need to save troubled men. I call it "broken wing syndrome". Its kind of like when you were a kid and found a little bird with a broken wing. You protected it devoted all your time to it and knew it could fly straight one day if you just loved it enough. If it did not recover you blamed yourself. In the case of an abusive man (and not an innocent little birdy) the problem is that many people especially women will angrily tell you that you didn't do enough. I have also seen women get criticized for focusing on their individual growth and future success by leaving a bad relationship and focusing on their own happiness and their children's if they have kids. I also think people in the inner city identify with each other in ways that are not always healthy. I think because you can so easily identify with the problems you all face it is hard for caring people to turn their backs. It is also part of the con job abusers put out there. They will say things like "do you know why I get so upset with you... its because I love you so much."--- "If only you would do as I have told you I would not have had to do what I did" I would like to know how the preacher truly feels about the women he use to abuse. Does he believe they let him down? Remember he is a con artist. You know him best but I would never trust his conversion as anything more than another manipulation.

I think there are many reasons some women are attracted to violent men. For some it may be the power they have, after all biologically survival of the fittest depends on having a strong partner. For others it may be the money they have; that they are willing to trade of their safety & well-being for more "things". And for some I think it's the passion. Often violent men are also romancers & smooth talkers. On Monday they may blacken their wife's eye; but on Tuesday they're sending flowers or other make-up presents. But I think the biggest reason is that they didn't know that's what they were getting into when the relationship started & for one reason or another they are trapped in the relationship. Maybe they've moved away from their family & friends (abusers often cut their victims off from their family) and without support it can be so difficult to leave an abuser.

some people are attracted to "power". the meaning of 'power' here is left to each person's idea of what it is.

Well I guess it is like any other abuse. There is fear and like you said a definite power aspect. I think that there are also confidence and self-esteem issues on the part of these women...then like they say, "Love is blind!"

I have a lady friend in Australia that seems to drift from one violent relationship to the next, & she will defend each & every guy no matter how badly they beat her up. Now she is a bit wild herself & gets into a fair bit of trouble, but that's still no reason to hit a female in my opinion & I just don't get it at all. I'm glad to see yuor discussion here as I feel the same way.

i think those are the women who misinterpret the bullish attitude of men to be their mascularity....its actually a wrong notion which arises out of misconception ...

it's a mistery as well to me why women should love violent men. maybe the get what they want including the violence. so they're satified with all that her violent man provides for her.

Because of society's expectations of women, women are often put in the position of living vicariously through the people they love, whether it be their man or their children. No woman goes out to find a violent man and the violent men don't wear warning labels. What she's seeking is someone to love her and, if she's living vicariously, someone who provides excitement or adventure. An emotionally healthy woman will react adversely to the first signs of abuse, which is usually verbal or emotional rather than physical. She'll walk away. But the woman who is not emotionally healthy won't be able to read those early signs. Often these women have been abused all through childhood or seen their mothers abused, thus they believe such abuse is normal. The signs others see as abusive then are normal to her and she stays. By the time the physical violence occurs, her abuser has her psychologically beaten to the point she cannot think clearly and has a hard time envisioning how to escape. When she tries, he escalates both the threats and the violence, often bringing in other family or friends as surrogate victims. Abuse of pets is so much a part of of this surrogate process that many cities require a domestic violence investigation along with investigating animal abuse. Her children are favorite targets of her abuser too. 70% of women and children who are murdered by a spouse are murdered when they try to escape his control. Abuse is all about power and control. There is nothing random or spontaneous about it. He doesn't just "wig out." If he did, he'd be abusing his boss and best friend too. The real question is not why women are "attracted to violent men" because they aren't. They are attracted to the man they see in the initial stages of the relationship. He's charming. He compliments her and tells her almost immediately that he loves her. That's the man she falls in love with. The real questions are: why are men violent? Why do men feel they have the right to beat the women who love them? Why do the friends of abusive men remain silent instead of telling them they're out of bounds? Why does society tell women to stay in a marriage at all costs, or that they're failures if they leave? The problem isn't abused women. It's abusive men and a culture that supports their violence.

some people are so lacking in self confidence that tis is the only way they feel wanted. i had a sister in law who went from man to man always getting a man worse then the last. we have a habit of setting ourselves up for failure with this distructive behaviour

One of the resons why Women get attracted to violent men is because, it means that they are strong and powerful, it's the samething for animals the females go after the strong males so that they can have strong offspring

It is a cycle that isn't readily understood by someone who has not been in that position. Even after having been involved in someone who expressed his feelings with his fists, I am still baffled by some of the more extreme situations that I have encountered.

I think its because they would like to be protected...just may be because of that. I usually think that girls are always interested in a strong person who is always there to protect her.

yeeeeeh dude, i dont get it either. actually, women are quite hard to figure them out :p maybe it has something to do with "protection", like animals do. The female looks for the strongest/violent male to protect the babies, and stuff.