Renewal of wedding vows

I don't think you should do anything you aren't comfortable with. As a wedding officiant, I personally wouldn't even perform the ceremony if I sensed that one partner didn't really want it. It sounds to me like you could use some counseling to help you get through everything you are feeling about his cheating. Of course he would get over it before you. He isn't the one who was betrayed! You should sit down and talk to him and let him know that you need more time before you are ready to renew your commitment to him. If he truly wants to make the marriage work, he will be patient and understanding while you work through all this.

Wow 23 years of marriage is really something! I believe it would be good to talk to him about your feelings. Tell him you still are hurting with the things he did to you in the past and start from there. If he is truly sincere with his seeking for your forgiveness, he will do everything to make you feel better. I'm sure you will make it work. Don't think of the 23 years, instead think as if you are still in your 1st year and he needs to court you for the second time around. When you feel better, then I think that's the best time you can renew your vows. Good luck!

wow, good for you guys to overcome that horrible time. i think if you were totally over it and wanting to stay and trust him, you should do this as a sign of trust, obviously he feels your uncertainty, and maybe thinks this will mean he really does want to start over and forget the past. its hard to forgive someone, but if you harbor bad feelings-its like a poison inside of you and eventually kills your spirit. if you truly love him then its important to move on. I wish you the best of luck.

I don't think a renewal of vows is necessary for forgiveness and to strengthen a marriage. Since you're already on your 23rd year, why not wait until the silver anniversary (25th) for the renewal of vows? That would be a better timing and a bigger celebration.

I think you should talk to him about how you feel, and find out why he wants to remew the vows. You may change your mind after talking to him. Communication in any relationship is very important, but it is a two way street and both of you need to be open to why the other feels the way they do.

i think you should look and listen to your heart. at this point in your life, what do you really want, a marriage to be intact or separation? perhaps from their you will be able to answer your question.

Do not do it to please him- Only do it if you really want to- Sounds like you have already agreed and have stayed with him- I'd make the best out of it - or move on- Cheating is a very hard thing to overcome- I'm not sure I could. but if you can and did and he is trying harder now- then it is your decision- Just make the best out of it- Make the decision that your heart and head tell you- Good luck!

congratulations for making it thru! wow, 23 years? that's huge! anyway, i think he's trying to prove to you that he's sincere about it this time and would like the second chance. so looks to me like it's really your call. i mean you can go ahead with it but what matters more than renewing your vows is fixing that doubt you're having. coz it's just like a band aid solution you have there, that's not really gonna fix the main issue which is you getting over that incident. but i guess everybody deserves a fresh start. so i'm hoping things turn out better this time around. just do whatever it is you're comfortable with. and i would suggest that before you renew your voice, just resolve this main issue that way you'll really feel the essence of renewing your vows.

well i think you should go with your gut...i dont think i would renew our vows...we have been married for 20 years and are quite happy... i think renewing vows is more for show than anything to be honest, ask him why he wants to renew them and go from there...

If I were you I would talk to him and let him know how you feel! If you are not comfortable going through with this then you shouldnt have to! Marriage is a partnership and you should both agree if you want to renew your wedding vows! I can see your point with what you have said about not keeping the vows the first time around! He was the one that made the mistake in the first place and he shouldnt be forcing you to do anything that you are not comfortable with!