Are you becoming your mother/father?
By killahclaire
@killahclaire (3665)
July 5, 2007 7:32am CST
Growing up I swore I never wanted to be like my mother. 23 and I see myself getting there already. We don't tolerate the same things, we speak up when we are wronged, we complain about the same things, we have all the same method in doing things and some of the traits I totally disagreed with when I was a child I see myself reasoning with now.
Do all woman see themselves turning intoo their mother and do men see themselves becoming their father.
6 people like this
15 responses
@curvychick77 (1084)
• United States
5 Jul 07
No, I don't think I'd want to be like her. I mean don't get me wrong, she has good things about her and I have the good, but there are things about her that I don't want to have. Like the fact that she was abusive to me as a kid, and my father was the same way. I want to be better when I have kids, I want to treat them better than I was. I'd never want to be my parents.
2 people like this
@killahclaire (3665)
•
5 Jul 07
Welld one for seeing the errors of the ways of your parents and making a positive reverse of roles to not be like that.
1 person likes this
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
5 Jul 07
I am proud when people tell me I am like my mother. She was a wonderful caring woman and had only nice things to say about people and didn't talk about them behind their backs. I have tried to be like my mum but in some areas I know I speak my mind more than she did which sometimes gets me into trouble.
@phoenyxstarr (132)
• United States
5 Jul 07
I really think I'm becoming just like my mom. We already look alot alike & sound alike over the phone, so it was only a matter of time before I started acting like her. I'm trying to change that though because I never liked the way my mom treated me compared to my baby brother & sister, I don't want my oldest to feel that way toward my younger 2.
@killahclaire (3665)
•
5 Jul 07
I sound like my 12 year old sister and I am full grown adult. people get us confused on the phone all the time.
You know what you don't wanna be so you can make a consious effort not to be.
@Eskimo (2315)
•
5 Jul 07
Claire, you've just learned one of the crucial facts of life 'Mother really does know Best', Your'e now begining to mature (and I mean that in the nicest possible way), and learn that what was important to your mother when you were young (and wasn't important at all to you), you are now finding is becoming important to you as well (Gosh don't I sound like an "Agony Uncle" here).
People change when they become older and quite often moderate their views as well. I knew one person who would never read a Sunday Newspaper because of religious convictions, who then started to read them when he became older (on a Monday though - he still wouldn't read it on Sunday). That doesn't necessarily mean that you are totally turning into your mother. But would that be a bad thing anyway - look at photograph's of your mother at that age (if she has any) and see if there is much difference between the two of you.
1 person likes this
@killahclaire (3665)
•
5 Jul 07
God yes there are differences. She was a single mother of two at my age. In fact my sister was 5 and I was 2. I centainly learned from that mistake.
Lol. BUt then of course the beautiful wonderful me wouldnt have happened if she hadnt made that mistake. Amn't I wonderful!!!
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@rosie_123 (6113)
•
5 Jul 07
Well I would be kind of honoured to be seen to be like my Mother, because she is my hero - or should I say heroine? Cynical people might say that's because she passed away when I was quite young, so I tend to look at her with rose-tinted glasses, but certainly she was one strong, intelligent, sassy and classy lady! Some people (especialy my Dad) say I am like her - certainly in my love of cats and all animals, and, my dislike of racism/sexism and all forms of religious bigotry, - but I still think I have a long way to go to reach her level. She came to this country as a refugee with nothing, and made something of herself with no help from anyone, which certainly wasn't easy for a woman alone back in the 1950's and 60's. She was very cool, and also VERY VERY stubborn - which is probably something I do resemble her in!
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@rosie_123 (6113)
•
5 Jul 07
Thanks for your nice words Claire - I appreciate them.
1 person likes this
@killahclaire (3665)
•
5 Jul 07
Absense makes the heart grow fonder and I don't see how people can criticise you for seeing your mother as wonderful because would they rather you were filled with bad thoughts and resentments towards her.
My friend lost both his parents when he was 12 and evem although some of the stories he tells of his upbringing border on neglect and mistreatment his eyes still light up and his heart softens at the mere mention of his parents. Obviously even through it all his parents still hold a very special place in his heart and who are we to take that away from him.
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@killahclaire (3665)
•
5 Jul 07
I think men tend to be moreo like tehir father and woman more like their mothers but to be honest I grew up in a man free house so I wasnt too sure of this fact.
1 person likes this
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
6 Jul 07
i am so much like my mum its so not funny, we think a like, we do things similar, except she smokes and i wont. we are both non drinkers. but we have same interest, oh except shes good at maths and im bad at it lol.
1 person likes this
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 07
Even though we try very hard not to be like our parents, we just can't help it because we are the exact mould of them. We are raised by our parents and it is natural to copy their traits. So I am not surprised if I turned out to be like them.
@wraithstriderwife (938)
• Philippines
6 Jul 07
yeah, i see myself as my mom... i like the positive side, but don't like the negatives. you know..
1 person likes this
@coffeeshot (3783)
• Australia
6 Jul 07
I realised recently that I'm too much like my mother and that is a bad thing. She's very moody and negative and I realised that it has rubbed off on me. I always make a conscientious effort to snap out of my negative, bad mood before I upset someone. On the other hand I think I'm like my dad in a few ways. I admire my dad and since we have become a lot closer this past year i find myself become more like him. Good discussion Claire!
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@muscare (3068)
• Australia
6 Jul 07
There have been times when I will do or say something that my dad would , and I try to remind myself not too, especially if it is a trait I don't like. My wife definitely doesn't want to turn out like her mother, she can't stand her, and she often tells me to remind her if she says or does something even remotely like her. She doesn't have to worry there, the mother in law is one of the last people I'd want to be married to, lol!
1 person likes this
@xkristalx (230)
• United States
6 Jul 07
I was the same way growing up "I will NEVER be like my mother!!" A few days ago however as I was getting off the phone with my mother my boyfriend told me that I did indeed have the same attitude. I just couldn't believe it, and then he gave a bunch of examples!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my mother but there are just things she does that makes me so fusterated!! My boyfriend now has the task of informing me of when I'm doing something my Mom does that I don't like so I will stop it!!
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
5 Jul 07
I am very much like my Mother about being patinet with men.I am old fashioned like her and when Hubby is ratty I keep quiet, let him rattle on then when he calms down we talk rationally and usually I am the winner in the end because he is happy I don't argue with him and that is why we are still together. He says I am the only woman that can handle him and I learned that from my Mum lol. He has actually calmed down a lot and he rarely now gets pissy, which, again is good for him and me. I am very much like my dad when it comes to being organized and money..Spitting image of an accountant's daughter lol.
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