Santa

I have 2 kids aged 7 and 9. The oldest now knows there isn't a Santa and our little guy still believes, but barely now. I imagine this will be the last xmas we have the whole santa thing. I think it's all a bit of harmless fun and helps keep the magic of christmas around for the kids. My daughter wasn't the least bit put out when she found out we had been "lying" and she actually carries on the charade so that it won't be spoiled for her brother...very sweet.

There is a difference between lying and fantasy. Santa is fun, for us as well as the kids. Here's what we have done with our kids. Santa will leave gifts for our kids until they leave our home. There's no "if you don't believe, Santa won't come" nonsense. When they ask if Santa is real, I ask "What do you think?" If the child is ready to give up the fantasy, he says "it's you and daddy" or something along those lines. I confirm it and ask him to help me keep it fun for the younger kids. If he isn't ready, he says "of course Santa's real" I just smile. My oldest two daughters have figured out that we are Santa and think it's fun to keep the secret from the babies. Of course, they still get gifts from Santa on Christmas morning. My father was practical to a fault. If we asked to go get ice cream or eat out, or buy anything other than the cheapest clothing available, he said "We don't have the money" Our gifts from Santa were always impractical-we got toys, electronics, nice clothes. My mother told me as I neared adulthood that when they went Christmas shopping, she would choose something and quite often my father would insist on getting something more elaborate, despite the expense, because he thought we would enjoy it more. Santa allowed him to loosen up and buy us fun things, even if we didn't know it until we were grownups.

My parent's told us that Santa Claus wasn't real, but that people do things to celebrate the memory of him (St Nicholas that is). We used to get a Santa-Sack of presents, which would appear under the tree sometime during the night, and leave out cookies for the "reindeer" etc. even though we knew it was pretend... you don't have to take the magic and fun out of it just because you don't want to lie to your children! We thought it was great fun to "pretend" that he was still alive, in order to honour his memory. I am not going to tell my children that he is "alive" when he isn't, but playing and having a little imagination is still a lot of fun... and it doesn't detract from the whole experience to know that it is all about someone who used to be alive instead of someone who is alive now. Good discussion topic! =)