I love him but I am not IN love with him.

"I love him but im not IN love with him" happens to be the latest best excuse for getting out of a relationship. I just talked to a man the other day who was very upset that his wife just asked him for a divorce after only having been married a year. He was devastated as he did not know what he had done wrong. I've known this young man since he was a child and I doubted that he was capable of doing anything too awfully terrible. I said, "hmm...let me guess she loves you but she is not IN love with you?" His eyes grew big as he asked"how did you know?" How did I know? I work in the public and listen daily to peoples stories. This is word for word their excuse to escape a relationship. Nine to ten there is a third party involved...almost always. As you say...your friend has been coming around.

i think both of you are just inlove with the fact of being in love. try talking to him. try want you want to do.. let him know what you really feel

If you are no longer in love with him, you should ask yourself whether you want to leave him or not. But I think loving somebody is more beautiful than being in love with somebody. I personally feel that being in love have something to do with hormones, I mean lust, but if you love somebody you will love him undeniably. However the choice is yours, I am not in your shoe so I am not able to give you any choices to make. But try to solve your problem with your husband first, before making the wrong decision. Whatever may come, I am still your friend. Hope this helps. Have a thorough thinking, my friend.

well, I dont know what to say here. when you are married with someone then you have to love him and be in love with him that's why you are in this road. If you just say "I love him but I am not in love with him" so that mean you never wanted to get married with him at all. I dont know you get my point or not. However, mostly when a couple get to know each other everyday and see each other everyday, they mostly feel just normal and not really in love that much, that's for some couples. but most of them are getting better everyday and love each other everyday and not even that they are happy with their marriage, so Which situation are you in right now? Do you like that man?I guess you are getting bored of your own husband and the other man might makes you feel happy and gives you everything you want, that's why you feel different. I am sorry to say that but you have to be yourself and think that you are married and this is the only man that will spend the rest of his life with you. If you think that won't work for you two then you have to have another good reason to break up this relationship. No one can decide for you but you have to choose who is the best and who has been through everything with you and who accepted everything or whatever you have done. we are here to give you an advice and I am not judging anything at all... Just want to make sure you choose the right man for your future. I used to have that experience before and I was a fool but now I know no one can compare to him and Nothing I can say about him at all, So you decide and we are here to help you.

Follow what your heart says. Your husband is selfish. If he loves you, then he must let you go to whom you want to talk to. He should not be jelous instead he should trust you. Sometimes its hard to let go of someone especially to whom you offer your heart, but always remember this... letting go is not by means of loosing its somehow a way of having freedom.

weight the positive and negative advantages/disadvantages of your marriage. The fact that your saying your not in love with him anymore concerns me im at this point in my marriage also but im hanging in there because of co-dependant issues and companionship..im not that old but i dont have intrest in anyone else you on the other hand show interest in someone...are you willing to give it all up for someone else? Do you feel controlled and just need a change if so remember the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill BUT if your not in love anymore is it worth staying with him??you might be missing out on valuable years. could you be happier with someone else?

you are in a bad situation here. and you are feeling choked, right? that is sad. sorry to hear about that. well, hmm.. let's see. i haven't realized up to now that there's a huge difference of loving someone from being INlove. maybe you are right. there is a difference. but when you appreciate everything about your partner and he appreciates everything about you, too, then, there is no much reason for you and him to dig in so much about the difference between the two. more so, we only think of the difference when we feel that there is something wrong in the relationship... like in your case. i think it is better if you don't think of that friend of yours first and spend lots of time with your husband. he is a jealous husband like you said so, i guess it is better if you make him feel comfortable and make him feel secured that you will never hurt and cheat on him. and soon, he will be able to trust you already. take care... anne

You have to understand your husband's nature and help him to come out of his bad habit. Being married and knowing your husband's nature, you should be careful in dealing with others especially with male friends. You have to keep the dealings secret.

That is very confusing. I have never heard of such thing. You cannot love someone without being in love with him. Unless you mean that you love him like a brother. Usually... this work the other way around. You are in love with someone... but you don't like him as a person. However... from what you are telling us... not only are you not in love with him... but I have my doubts that you love him. The fact that he is jealous means that he realise that you are not in love with him and he don't trust you. Men are fairly stupid when it comes to love. They will do the most stupid things to hang on to the woman they love... even if she don't love him. And the more they try... the further away she gets from him... until she walk out of the door. Why did you marry him if you were not in love with him? That is the real question.

I guess it's really a big problem between you and your partner. You're losing your communication with one another. In a relationship, it is important to listen and understand how one feels for some things in life. Be patient because people differ with one another. In your case, you'll have to be patient enough when communicating your feelings with your partner. As I can see he don't trust you, am I right? Do you have any idea why he feel that way with you?

Hi there! I'm just a concern woman who wants to respond to your problem. I know its very hard to face that kind of problem especially you are a married one. Well, I guess it would be proper and good to settle it again by approaching your husband and try to talk about the problem. In a relationship, both of you should be open to each other and find a solution to it in order to maintain and to get things right. Maybe you just want to have a companion to be with whenever your husband is not around or in at work. I guess it would be proper to tell to your husband about the things that you want to do or try to tell him all you want in life so that maybe in the end he would realize that you are having fun with others because he cant be with you all the time and he will find ways and means to make you happy...ok?

perhaps that is a good excuse right now, saying you love him but are not in love. I have used that as well, and of course after being selfish and not talking with him and just leaving I regreted it dearly. I went to the ex that I thought was what I truly wanted. Sure it was fun the 1st week or two, but then I realized I was only wanting to live a fast life again for a minute. I found out that I did love him and luckily he took me back and we are still happily married. Beings you have an old friend that I am sure is giving you the feelings of what once was, it is just that once was. Before you make any drastic move talk to your husband, perhaps seek counseling. I wish you luck

That is really hard. Better to talk to him that you need to have freedom too. It does not mean that if you are already committed to him, your freedom of mingling to other people would be halted. Try to convince him further. Yeah, that is really one of the main problem in a relationship, wherein, you love him but you're not in love with him. Better accept the fact, and try to accept him as your lifetime husband. Cheers!

heyyeah!!! good day!!!! hey there i am not a good adviser but i try and i hope this lil stuff i have will help you. i am surprised of you of saying "you love him but your not inlove with him" how can it be? Dont think of that way, Ask yourself "Why i love him?" if you cant answer this only means you really love him cause you fing no reason. thats real love, no reason you just give, the more you give the more you'll be loss in your part. Dear, you love him but brcause of your situation and what his doin in you makes you think you're not inlove to him but the truth you are. What you can do is talk to your husband about this matter. Love is give and take, stiluli- its like when youre hungry you want something to eat you crave for food to satisfy. both of you must respect each other. he must respect your privacy and sicial life as well as you respect him. and TRUST- ask for his truston you. gain that trust. that makes your relationship strong. dont afraid to talk to him in a polite manner, dont shout or nag him, instead be patient in understanding him and also speak your side and let him understand too. dont be afraid to consult this matter as long A YOUR NOT GUILTY. GOD BLESS...... GO GURL....

You gave a nice thought about your feelings, distinguishing Love from being IN Love. Sometimes, comprising is not enough. As husband and wife, the two of you have to work things together. And to pull that one out, you both have to seat for a while and have a nice talk with each other. I believe that simple misunderstandings can besettled under a good conversation, you also have to consider the times you and your husband have spent already with each other. We can never be sure that after separating, you'll both live a happy life by being away at each other's arms.. Think deep, then both of you decide in what you think would be best for your relationship.

It sounds like you are wanting out. If you are spending time with another man while you are married , it doesn't sound good for your marriage. My husband would be pissed to if that was what was happening in my marriage. My husband is jealous too but I wouldn't get angry with him if he had every right to be jealous. Those that get jealous are ones that care for the other. He obviously cares for you still if he is getting jealous. Married couples should be hanging out with other married couples. When you put in single people or people who are having marriage problems can only make it worse. I wish you the best.

Is talking to him really didn't help? Why all of a sudden change in your dealing with eachother?. That's so hard I'm sure. Can't make compromise. The best thing to do really is to talk. You try to communicate with eachother openly but if it doesn't help, better seek a professional help soon. ;) Goodluck friend. You can make it through..;)

Honestly you're more interested with the other guy right now, maybe he just makes you happy because you are longing for something from your husband. I will definitely be mad if you were my wife, Why would you go out with some other guy if you are already married? thats in not a good thing in a married relationship. If you go out to a friend who is a man, single or also married with just the two of you go out is never the right thing to do? see what if someone you love goes out with his FRIEND who they both are trying to catch up what would you feel? will you not be jealous? what if that is your husband or let we say someone you love, maybe not your husband but someone you love? would you not be jealous?. And if you love someone you don't do things that hurt his/her feelings.