Do you "spank" your child?

Im a little confused you say hit your child and than ask for forgiveness,hitting only teaches hitting, there are other ways.

You make several EXCELLENT points. I believe in spanking as a form of discipline, but not all parents are mature enough to use it (as I'm sure the author's father was not). There is a major difference between child abuse and discipline. When I was spanked, I knew I must have done something seriously wrong or dangerous. You don't spank for every offence, nor do you call the child names, or indicate that the child is bad or evil. Maybe the actions were wrong, but the child is still a good girl or boy who made a bad call. My son gets smacked every time he goes over to play with cords, electrical outlets, the oven, etc. Now he only does it on rare occasions when he forgets; but because he had such a strong reason not to do it earlier, a simple "No, hot" suffices. Actually, come to think of it, whenever you say "hot", he will automatically stop and look up at me to make sure he's still being obedient. It's become his action word, like most kids' parents use the middle name. Action words, active discipline (we called them dirty duties) such as extra laundry or cleaning, and the like have proven to be most effective when combined with spanking. My parents spanked and raised 9 upstanding citizens, who in turn became good parents (those with kids). So just because you have a bad experience with corporal "punishment", don't assume all parents who spank abuse their kids. It's my right as a mother to discipline my kids as I see fit; no one knows them as I do, nor does anyone love them nearly as much as I do. Blessed Be

To all the parents who agree with smacking as a form of discipline; you have made some good points, but it is a fact in life that any form of hitting is wrong. You don't have the right to hit any body, you do not own your child, you are supposed to guide them. Can you answer this question; Why do parents only smack their child when they are too little to defend themselves? Teenagers are still learning but i never hear of them getting a smack on the bottom when they mis-behave?

HEck yeah i believe in spanking your child...if you don't wanna take the heat for spanking them, then call me. i will do it! abuse and discipline are two different things. I believe in discipline. My mother says she can already tell the difference between us kids and the grandkids..... Anyway, I have no children!

No, we don't OWN our children. But they BELONG to us. It is up to us to raise them as WE see fit, and as long as what we are doing is not HARMING them, then I think all parents should just stay out of how others discipline their children.

I don't doubt for one second that you never loved your kids. No body "NEEDS" a smack. There are different levels of violence but they are all just that; VIOLENCE. You said your friend's child wasn't smacked and got away with everything. Not being smacked has nothing to do with her behavior. I don't smack my daughter and she certainly doesn't get away with everything. I take the time to communicate and teach her. I wish parents would stop making excuses for "smacking" their child, we have no right to smack them, we DON'T OWN THEM. My sister and i were both hit and spanked by our father. I turned out to be the "naughty" one and my sister turned out to be the "good" one. I hung around the "naughty" crowd and my sister was a "goody, goody" who studied, went to college and became a teacher. The SMACKING had nothing to with how we turned out. Our father had no right to smack us, it taught us nothing constructive. After i was spanked i wasn't thinking about what i did wrong, i was feeling pain and crying. Do you really think your child can think about what they have done wrong if your answer is a quick smack? Try communication and explaining. And remember it doesn't matter how young they are. Just because they are 1 year old doesn't mean you have to smack them because you think explaining is pointless. They are sponges at that age, they understand and they are learning........... so teach them, don't smack them.

My heart goes out to you. I wasn't abused as much as you were. My dad beat me a few times but most of the time i got the strap or a hit on the bottom. Any form of hitting is wrong.

By the way you can't make your child "obey", you can only teach them and guide them. Only you know your child. Just try different things and then stick with what works. I have tried heaps of different forms of discipline. When she was too young to understand reasoning i just said the word no and explained why it was wrong. Now she is 4, what usually works is telling her she can't "do" this or "have" this. Sometimes i threaten to kick her out of house or put her in the garage with the spiders, or i threaten that i will leave her here by herself. Maybe some of those threats are wrong, but i never follow through with the "leaving", "garage", or "kicking out of house" threats, i say them because they work at the time. I'd rather say these things than hit, spank, smack or abuse (what ever you want to call it, it's all violence)her. Good luck. Just concentrate on the positives and get over the negatives as quickly as possible.

ajkmom I thank you for your suggestions and I happen to use those tactics as well. I do spank as a last resort. She then takes me much more seriously. As I said before, my daughter is well behaved, very smart, and very respectful. She knows her boundaries in our home and she often looks at other kids who are not as well behaved and sees that they are not as well behaved and often not well disciplined. Spanking is not immoral, nor illegal. It is in fact biblical. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

The three best methods of discipline that are effective are:Natural consequences: Sally breaks her toy. She has to earn an allowance to get another one. Taking privleges away: No TV or video games for one week. Time outs: One minute in time out for every year of age. example: 6 years old 6 minutes

You said after you smacked your son you told him his mistake and hugged him? Well why couldn't you leave out the smacking and just tell him his mistake and hug him. You are not expressing "LOVE" when you physically harm someone. I believe that smacking is wrong full stop, but i strongly disagree with smacking babies, because they learning and testing their boundaries. I could never "smack" someone who can't defend themselves.

TEACHING = LISTENING LISTENING = LEARNING DISCIPLINE = TEACHING (when we are talking about kids) PHYSICAL HARM = PHYSICAL PAIN

Dr Phill is a trained professional and he never smacked his children.

People who are spanked can also grow up to be mature, reasonable, well-tempered people, you know.

P.S. My girls that are grown are all now very well-mannered, polite and likeable, honest people. My daughter that has children does not resort to spanking as a means of dicispline and they are very well behaved. When we resort to spanking, it is we that are out of control. it is not ok.

God bless you! You are a good example of a good parent! I loved how you said; "i lost control", "i felt so bad", "i lost it" and "spanking is wrong". You are so right!

Spanking can and does work, but only at the time. It's a quick fix, not a long term solution.

I agree with you completely. Did you know that 80% of people (i think it's mainly in the Western world) come from dis-functional families? I believe there would be a lot less violence if parents didn't hit their children. Our children imitate what they see, not what they are told.

I got spankings until I was about 10 or 11. After that, I had more things to have taken away, the computer, tv, etc.