Is it OK for a very little boy to change clothes in the women's bathroom?
By youless
@youless (112507)
Guangzhou, China
July 8, 2007 9:00am CST
Today I brought my three years old son to the swimming pool alone. He enjoyed to "swim" and played with his watergun in the pool:)
Everything was fine until we changed clothes in the bathroom. One 40's woman abused my son because he was a boy and shouldn't be in the women's bathroom. I didn't want to argue with her, as it wouldn't be good to do so when my son was here. I just continously said sorry. I know it's not suitable, but I had no choice. I was alone and I couldn't let him go to the men's bathroom by himself. He wouldn't go there alone anyway. And it's not so security, the floor was wet and I was afraid some bad guys would take him away. I need to have my eyes on him. Besides, he is only 3 years old and doesn't know many things.
Finally my son and I didn't have any wash there, we just dried ourselves and then changed clothes and left right away.
If you meet this situation, what will you do? Is it OK for such a little boy goes with his mother to the women's bathroom?
10 people like this
54 responses
@takkea (393)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I think that it is ok because the boy still has his innocence and where the adult goes the child should follow. If you were to go into the male bathroom it would be so uncomfortable as well as inconvenient. Your are right at that age you should always keep you eye on them. There is no way of knowing what will happen.
2 people like this
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
9 Jul 07
Who does she think she is... Some pretty teenager with whom your son is going to fall in love with? This is ridiculous. But I thought children don't fall into the Men and Women category atleast until they are ten years of age. I guess she probably doesn't have children or it might be she is right out in a mental state? Who knows what sort of a woman she was to abuse a three year old for changing in a woman's bathroom. By the way, I thought there were separate cubicles to change, so how could she possible go against someone in their own cubicle trying to wash and change. You behaved like an angel. If she had done to my son, I would have surely made her feeling embarassed. don't you worry about git like that.
2 people like this
@youless (112507)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jul 07
Thanks for your praise to me, I am blushed:) I don't know if the time goes back, whether I will behave the same. It's likely I would do so, because it's much more important to let her stinking mouth shut up soon and it would have less hurtful feelings for my son.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
8 Jul 07
I think it's totally acceptable for children that young to go into the opposite bathroom in such situations. It's not like you can just let him go on his own when it's not safe! If someone had approached me like they did you, I would have pointed out that my child's safety was more important to me than such things!
This kind of thing is what makes me happy that there are places now that have "family bathrooms". I've been seeing them out more and more, and I think it's a great solution to this kind of problem. I hope it continues to spread!
1 person likes this
@youless (112507)
• Guangzhou, China
8 Jul 07
Unfortunately there is not family bathroom here. Glad to hear that one supporter here. That woman was too bad to abuse my son, because he is just too little to understand and why she said so to him. I am not someone who like quarrelling in public. But since my son was there, it's fine, I wouldn't try to agrue with her. It may leave a bad impression to my son. In fact after I became to be a mother, I became more considerate and I also care other children. That woman is just too bad. I said sorry for many times and hoped she could shut her mouth up. We didn't wash at all and just changed clothes and left.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
8 Jul 07
*nods* I've also found that I'm more considerate of other people's children and parenting issues since I became a mother! There are so many challenges with doing even everyday things with kids that I just never thought about before I had my own! =p
I can't imagine ever scolding someone else's child that way though! How very rude of her! Even if she said something to you like "I don't think that's appropriate", saying anything to the child was very wrong! I guess I'm pretty touchy about that, but I don't like people talking to my son at all unless I've said they can.
@minijumbuk (514)
• Australia
9 Jul 07
maybe you could have went to the male toilet instead *wink wink* (just joking)
Anyways, i agree with you, it is totally wrong for her to abuse your child, you could call the security to take her out or something, you can ask for people's permission in the change room to see if the majority would like your son to stay or go.... see what their decision was, i am sure most of them wont mind your son there... what a terrible woman...
1 person likes this
@xkristalx (230)
• United States
9 Jul 07
Your son probably didn't even notice the difference until that lady pointed it out. I think you were completely right in taking him in there. It would have been completely unsafe to leave a little boy by himself while you changed and you can't go in the mens bathroom. Honestly until you feel he's old enough to go into the bathroom alone and then wait alone outside for you to get done you shouldn't risk your son because of some old cranky lady. I think even 5years old wouldn't be too old. at about 7 though then hes probably big enough
2 people like this
@youless (112507)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jul 07
That's right. My son has never realized the real difference yet. Even if he can know which is boy or girl, but he judges that by the dress and the hair style. I don't think such a little one knows more about it. As to that ugly woman, who wants to see her?
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
8 Jul 07
my first born is a boy too and during his early age i always brings him with me inside a womens bathroom. like you and most of the mom outhere we haev no choice. specially when the boy is too small yet to be in his own.
i think other people should understand why we have to bring our son along inside a womens bathroom. or if they couldnt understand, then they should say it nicely not abusing or using not good words. they should remember that a child is listening.
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
yes, all things can easily settled in an open communication rather than freaking out. well to all those who saw that incident, i know they understand you than the heartless woman who abused your child.
@coolsree (509)
• India
9 Jul 07
I would like to say no body should make it an issue that a 3 year old boy in womens bathroom with her mother. 3 year orld means he have harldy learning t speak & what disturbences he can do to any body? . If any body is disturbed with his presents then she must consult a phycatrist .
@vasimb (244)
• India
9 Jul 07
I dont think there is any wrong thing for such a young boy to change clothes women's bathroom. I mean he is so young boy to understand anything.
I dont know what kind of attitude that women had who does not agree to take such a little boy to women bathroom. And also you had no choice other than to take him with you.
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
9 Jul 07
You did exactly what you had to do and what any other mom would have done. That lady was inconsiderate and, in my opinion, way out of line for saying something to you. You took the high road by not arguing with her in front of your son and I applaud you for that. I don't think you needed to say your were sorry - but I understand that you were just sorry for making her feel uncomfortable. I think it is obvious that this lady has not had children.... and it is probably a good thing that she hasn't.
1 person likes this
@micaella (396)
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
Thats fine here to our country, especially no one will takecare for your son to wash there in boys room. Infact your son still three year old, so inoccent, and if so, that lady should do the complaints to the stuff of swimimg pool. Dont care about her and you shouldn't feel sorry to that, If the staff let you in with your son to womans bathroom it means its alowed, or its ok, but since seems like some women over protected to their physical even to inoccent child they're acting over you should talk and ask to the staff before goin back and bring inside your kids to womans area, If yoll be back to that place...
1 person likes this
@golfproo (1839)
• Canada
9 Jul 07
It is absolutely ok. That woman who complained to you is "off her rocker". What choice do you have? You cannot let a 3 year old go into the men's washroom by himself. That is a recipe for disaster in this day and age. Of course your son should come into the women's washroom. He is so young not only does it not matter, but it is expected.
cheers,
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
8 Jul 07
at three you should be more descrete then taking a child this age in the women's room..if it was empthy that would be one thing..but you should have asked the women in the comfort room instead of just barging in and exposing and having him invade the privacy of an obvious distraught women..women should respect women
@youless (112507)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jul 07
My son and I went to the bathroom just to change clothes, we had no purpose to look at anybody there. If she has such a little child in my situation, what will she do? Did she ever respect us on the other hand? At least she should be nice to talk to me. Be sure I would understand her feeling and it would be a good ending. I never realized such a little boy would make her so nervous and scared.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I don't have an issue with taking him into the comfort room but when you are in the public don't expect everyone to agree with your thinking..you are in the public..so think how some people might react to having a male child in the ladies room..i agree she freaked out..but i think the one who got hurt the worst out of this incident was the child..i could care less about this stupid women...you can't assume anything when you have children involved..sorry if i came off uncaring..but I was only thinking how badly the child felt being yelled at..what was his crime? listening to his mother...??
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Jul 07
He is just a little boy!! Yes , it is acceptable! A three year old is way too young to even care about such complex issues. You did the right thing. Obviously that lady had never experienced such a situation. I have all girls and so I really don't know what the age is that you would trust to send them into the men's room alone. I do know that age 3 is way way too young. When my grandson was very young , I always took him into the women's room with me and never had a problem. He is 7 now. I would probably have him go in the men's room but I would be right outside waiting. He'd best be timely or gram is going into the mens room!
1 person likes this
@badpenny (741)
• Lancaster, Texas
9 Jul 07
That woman was as crazy as a loon. How dare she suggest you should send a small child into any restroom alone? She was in the wrong, not you. When my son was little, I always took him with me to the ladies' restroom, as I was a single parent and had no one else to help him with such things, and my mother did the same with my brothers when they were little. I'm sure you will find that most others here on myLot have done the same on several occasions. You should have told the old bat to get bent and mind her own business.
1 person likes this
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
9 Jul 07
This woman totally overreacted. Generally, it's fine to take boys into the women's washroom until they're around 6 years old. I wouldn't be comfortable sending a little boy into the men's room by himself!! Kids need supervision, and that includes in the washroom areas. If the boy were running around, peeking under stalls, asking pointed questions about female body parts, etc, then I could understand wanting to sit down with him and have a talk about what's appropriate, because at that age they are curious. BUT, no one has the right to abuse someone else's child because they're uncomfortable with the presence of a small child of the opposite gender in a washroom. And if she had a problem with it, it was just that--HER problem.
1 person likes this
@youless (112507)
• Guangzhou, China
9 Jul 07
If I didn't keep my son with me all the time, I was afraid that I would feel regretful for it in my whole life. I can't afford any accidents happen to him. I just need a place for us to change clothes, is it a far request? You are right, it's her problem. Maybe she has many problems to be found later:)
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
8 Jul 07
You did absolutely nothing wrong. I also took my son into the bathroom with me when he was that age and even older. I often am amazed at how judgmental people can be. Exactly what are you supposed to do with him while you are in the bathroom? Leave him outside with strangers?
No need to feel bad about it. She was completely wrong and should never have opened your mouth at all.
Too bad such an ill-tempered woman spoiled your fun.
@jackli (203)
• China
9 Jul 07
oh. my god. There is so moronic woman in the world. what on earth God do? I think u do nothing wrong. just the woman are overreacted. i support ur doing that. and don't feel bad about that. the woman are idiotic, just ignore her. :)
@cybermom45 (196)
• United States
9 Jul 07
youless, of course it is OK to keep your son safe and with you rather than sending him alone into the men's bathroom where you obviously can't go. I don't think you would have been out of line to calmly tell the woman " I brought my son in here, if you have something to say, say it to me, not my son". Then you should have calmly finished drying and left.
That woman was wrong to speak to your son about it.She was rude. You were right to not start trouble by getting into an argument, but standing up for your son is OK, even in front of him, if anything it shows him you will protect him from bad ppl.
