What do you do when the other person does not want to let go?

hahai... how old are you by the way? for me its doesnt matter if you're compaible.. what matters for me is if both of you are willing to accept eveything from each other... but ofcourse if someone has to change for better then... let ot be... you know what... before your partner can understand you...you should understand him first... learn to listen... think twice before you react on anything that he says...ask him gently if you cant understand why he's acting like that.. if he explains it to you... let him feel that you understand him... if he says he doesnt know why... then tell him you just want to fix things out so you expect him to cooperate.. think of his feelings first before you think of your self... he might be having a trouble and he cant tell it to you coz you keep on complaining... in every problem there is a hundrend of solutions... but if you already tried it all then learn to move on... there is also a posibility that he's really not comfortabe with you anymore.. and if you trully love him let him be happy and you move on. ask him a solution... he might be thinking of something that can make your relationship go stronger but cant tell you because of a certain reason... ask him if he has any ideas he wants to implement... but it is also important that you trully agree with him... if you dont... then dont hesitate to say that you sont agree but justify your big NO... explain to him why you dont like it... communicate with him with exitement... he might be very tired on a monotone voice... or on a redandant questions... you can always start a conversation with "honey... i love you" or anything that can paint a smile on his face... hahai... its aready too long to read,... but hope you appreciate my effort to type this and share it to you... keep on posting... :) take care

my bf of 6yrs is the same way he dont tell his feeling or anything and if i try to talk to him he goes in another room i have tried to break up 3 times but does not work he throws something up in my face like out daughter

Hun you are going to have to decide what you want to do, it appears he is going to be of no help, its not like you havnt tried.It sounds like you have brought him a long ways in the 8 years you have been together but are you raising a child or in a relationship with a man? I dont think you are overeacting at all you are having a one sided relationship that is going nowhere.

well its not that u r overeacting but its just people are different in diff ways.u just have to understand that basic fact.also it may be that he has some probs that he jsut can open up to anybody.if u really love him then u should coaz him to tell that.u sayu have been with him for 8 years.it will work out dont worry.there are highs and lows in every life.perk up girl

No, you are not over-reacting. Communication is a vital part in any relationship. Without it, you do eventually grow apart. Think about your closest friends. You can sit and chat for hours and never get bored. You simply enjoy each others company. That is how a relationship should be only deeper. Communication is an art. Does he ask you about your day? If so does he listen? I am selective mute. Its an anxiety disorder that makes verbal communication very difficult. Trust me, I learned the value of communication at a very young age. I have worked hard to overcome. It is hereditary and one of my girls was afflicted as well. She too has worked hard to find ways to convey her thoughts and emotions and has improved on verbal skills. Sharing your emotions is sharing your heart and for that there is always a way even if not verbal.

It's either he's bored with this 8years relationship or he feels that he needs some personal space. Try not to make the first move to start anything from now on. It determines if he spot a difference in you and; is he willing to take the initiative to start a conversation instead.

Oh my. He wouldn't like me at all. me; so, how was your day? him; good me; alrighty then! thanks for the info! me; so, what do you want for dinner? him; the usual,food me; alright then, but these bologna sandwiches are getting a bit BORING!!!!! me;how about some sushi? him;no me;how about pasta? him; sounds good, but we need the fixings. me; so, goto the store and get it. him; silence me;that means you have to get dressed. him;silence me;do you need a hearing aid? him; (getting agitated, frustrated, getting dressed) it was an experiment I just pulled on him, like 10 minutes ago to get a reaction. then, I told him to "chill" because I wanted to read him back this description that I just gave you. the results were amazing. when he "knew" that I had typed everything out, and repeated it to him, it meant something different. it wasn't the same hum drum as we usually go through, and I was able to talk to him about "change". sometimes change means not doing the same thing you would do everyday. kind of like drinking coffee black all the time, and then trying a little sugar. seems to help it go down a bit better.

It's only fair to tell him what you feel and make him understand that you see him only like a friend... and you have to give him some time... maybe a lot of time (not away from you) to adjust... and to be comfortable talking about his feelings... I now it sounds like an advise from glossy journal (like Cosmopolitan:P) or like from a "How to deal with a ending relationship" book... but I don't mean it like that... I mean like talking with him(or her) about your's feelings... although it might hurt... but is the right thing and the best thing also, in these case, the conversation starters don't have anything with the problem... it just make him/her to be hurt even more;) good luck...

no you are not overreacting i was in a long term relationship and unfortunately it was over we weren't going to get married we just grew apart it was very hard and it hurt us both but i told him it was over period we tried to remain friends no it did not work it is best to leave period best to you i do not know your situation but this is what my experience was

Actually you are not over reacting. Maybe its becoz u feel happy or glad to talk to him thats why u asked the same questions all the time. Why dont u talk about anything that crossed your mind about your friends, family or ask him bout his friends or family, jobs or anything u can think of. U can also tell him how u feel bout him actually so he can understand your feeling before you it's too late

I may be missing the boat on this one, but I'm responding to the title of your post as a decision on your part that you don't want to stay in the relationship the way it is. As another person observed, it sounds like much of your relationship has been rather like a parent/child relationship. There can be no satisfaction in that for either of you. I guess the question is: if he were to become a respectful partner in your relationship, truly acting like a mate who cares about your needs, would you still want to be with him? If you no longer want to live with him, then it is a matter of logistics and planning. Figure out what you want to do and what is the best way to do it. Then go about taking the steps to make that happen without dialogue with him. It will give you a peace and you will get along better than ever during the time you decide to action and the time you implement it because there will no longer be a need for argument. You will no longer be trying to elicit the responses you want from him and he will think everything is great. It will free up the energy you are spending on a relationship you have decided is going nowhere and allow you to make the life you want. As part of your planning, identify resources that can help you should he become unreasonable, disrespectful or abusive.