We are failing parenting 101. Advise please....

these is always the case of families in a third world countries, in their effort to give and prepare for the bright future of their children, both parents need to work and ending up missing something in their children's growing up years... i cant tell you though if you are doing right, coz i dont know all the facts, it is but you and your husband's decision if you both think someone has to be at home to be with the kids...i'd like to share with you a summary of a true story that i read, i hope i remember it right coz i lend the book and it was never return.... its a story of a mother with 7 children, 3 of her own, and the other 4, adopted relative, they were not rich, not well off either,..both parents were working, earning barely enough for the whole family, the dilemma really was children were aged from tho years old to twelve years old, basically when both parents were out working,the older siblings were left to take care of the young ones. these really troubled both parents, so one night, they sit down with the kids, and talk,..if the mother stay at home and take of the kids, a much needed portion of the family earning will be lost, it is up to the father to provide for the whole family, or can he?.. that was really the big question there.. the whole family pray that night.., the next morning they decide the mother will stay at home with the kids,.. and pray to God they made the right decision.. it turns out well with, the father was providing more than enough for the family now, than it did when they were both working, and the children grew up to be a really nice and responsible kids...i should tell you, i was really inspire by their story.... but as i said, its really up to you...depends really on your situation, and you both, are the best person to assess that!...Good luck to you!

Raising children is never easy no matter what choice we make, but you have to decide what is important to you. It sounds like one of you need to change job times if possible, our children are only small once and you will be sad later if you miss so much of his life now.

maybe you can ask for a change of shift. you may try to alternate your work sched with your hubby. or if there's someone from your family whom you can trust to look over your kid, the better while you're at work. It's really very touching to see your son screw over anything he saw while the one looking after them was so occupied or like your hubby sleeping because of being sooo tired at work. then aside from asking for a changeof shift maybe you may request same days off with your hubby so you m ay have bonding time toghether with your kid....

I think every family has to decide what trade offs they're willing to make and what is most important to them. Of course our children are the most important, but from there what comes next in importance. My partner & I have chosen to give up some things so that we can be with our son more. We're not living in poverty by any means. We're just not that interested in having the extras & luxury type items in our lives.

Hi, Christine First and foremost, you did not failed parenting 101. In most societies, families requires dual income, with both parents working, to raise their children. It is sometimes very difficult to balance what is the right thing to do with what is actually required to raise a family. It is a dilemma all parents faced at some point in their lives. I remembered some 5 years back when i was in a bad financial state where both my partner and i worked a total of 4 jobs, two each, to bring home the bacon and clear debts. With a young daughter then, about 3 years old, we constantly struggled with feelings of guilt of neglecting her and missing out on her formative years. Looking back i realised that, given the circumstances, there wasn't really any choice. For your situation, you might want to consider rearranging the working shifts for both your husband and you to maximise rest/sleep/care-for-your-son requirements or consider alternative child-care arrangements. But most importantly, keep your spirits up and plan for a better future. Regards.

It is so hard to work and still keep up with children,home etc. My husband and I always worked opposite shifts and took turns with the kids. Even now that we are not together. He works days and has weekends off. I work full time nites but i get all my hours in on weekends when she is at his house and so am here during the week for her. Is it possible for you to rearrange your hours so that you can both get sleep and take turns caring for your son? Or maybe hire someone to come in and help out? You are right. It is not good for him to be left unattended. He could get into so much worse that left over food!

Oh,this is very bad and at the same time you should take a strong desision of either taking care of child or leaving the job for certain period of time for your son to grow or one of you both should chaqnge your shift timings so that you can care for your kid,and finally i remind you that nothing is important than kids happiness and welfare,what do you say.

Is there someone, a family member perhaps who might be willing to take care of him for a couple of hours so that your husband and you could both get a little sleep? Even if it was just for a short time it might help. When I worked the night shift, I would lay down and take a nap with my youngest son during the day. His nap time was my nap time as well. It wasn't a long time during the day, but it was a big help. I occasionally had family members watch him for me so that I could catch up on my sleep too.

The modern way of life is quite demmanding, and your story is repeated over an over again all over the world. As a wellness consultant I help people get over such situations in simple ways. Why do you work so hard? To provide you family with the best money can buy, of course. But what of the relationship between the family members? Does your children have the best care you can give? Don't you think there are other ways to earn money? Icertainly don't blame you in anything, and I am sure you love your son. This is the main reason why people turn to me - they want to earn more in order to provide their children and at the same time, spend more time with them. It is indeed possible. I can truly help you with this.