LOVE or LOVE him not???
By Roanne_20
@Roanne_20 (82)
Philippines
July 10, 2007 12:34am CST
Hi there!!! Can you help me with my problem???
It is all about my love life...
It bothers me a lot every now and then...
I consider it my everyday burden...
I have a suitor who is courting me for almost 3 months...
I dont know what to do with him and I dont know what is really my feelings to him...He is a typical guy who is very eager to pursue things in life just like in courting... I understand what he feels for me and I can see his effort.. But there is one great problem that I am facing right now...
My father and my co-friends at home do not like him because of some reasons.. One of the reasons is he has a baby girl now with his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, that strikes and discourage me a lot.. But then, I appreciate his honesty because he is very open and he tells me all about his life. The next reason is that he give up his studies without any job at all.. My father keep on reminding me that if I have a boyfriend, he would really prefer an educated person so that we both have a future.. Lastly, the people around us are against with him for the unwanted things he had done in his life just like being drunk.. Many people are giving negative reactions to me that if I will accept him, my life will be ruin... But what can I do?? I cant deny myself that I have gain feelings on him and I guess I cant blame myself or even him.. First and foremost, I didn't expect that he will court and fall in love with me. The same thing with him.. I guess the saying is right... "Expect the Unexpected!!!"...
I have this great guilt that it is unfair for him to keep on loving me though I'm really not..now, I get confuse...
Everytime I see him and when I arrived home from school, guilt surrounds me... But I cant understand myself... evertime he is not around or I cant see him, I missed him and the way he treat me... But if he is there, I dont want to see him.. Maybe this guilt that I felt... I a being unfair with him... I know that all he wanted is simply to accept him and be his girlfriend.. I really dont know what to do... Can anyone help me about this HEART problem of mine??? thanks...
6 responses
@misshoney (973)
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
hi roanne :-). you know what? i think i have encountered a similar problem. in my case though, this guy is separated with one baby girl with his ex-wife.
when i first met him, he quite pretended he is single but i got suspicious because he can't text or call me whenever he's home or during weekends. when i asked him if he is committed, he told me the whole story. at first i was grateful for the honesty and decided to accept him since i really liked this guy. however, after a while, it became clear to me that his priority will always be his family.besides it seems that he and his wife is till livng together though he never admitted
well in the end, i decided to let him go. it was not an easy decision. i did so because of one quote by St. John Bosco. he said that in every decision you make, choose the one that will give you peace of mind because happiness is a state of mind but peace is elusive.
i think you can also apply the quote in your problem. if you really liked this guy then be aware of what you are geting yourself into. Make a decision and stick to it. it would also help to consider your own set of values, priorities, and the advice of family and friends.
i said to yself i will never be at peace with himbecause no matter what he sas he is till legally aried aso i am coiting a sin w\by acepting him. i
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
Hello misshoney!!!
I think you're right...
I am very glad that you shared to me your experience in your past love life...
I really adore you...
You have guts and you really mean or stick to your decision...
I should try to make my own decisions
and I must stick to it...
I know it's difficult to risks but if i will not try
how will i know if its right or wrong???
Of course, I know it really depends on me if i will pursue it or not...
I can also apply the quote that you said from St. John Bosco...
thanks a lot...
@misshoney (973)
• Philippines
12 Jul 07
Hello roanne :-). thank you for the nice words. and i am sorry about my last sentence..coz it got mixed up
this is what i am saying...i said to myself that i will never be at peace with him because no matter what he says, he is still legally married. also i am committing a sin by accepting him.
good luck on your lovelife roanne. the right guy that you deserve will come. be happy and always pray.
besides there is no need to hurry, you are still so young...you will meet lots of guys. hey you can call me ate :-)
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Hello Ate!!!
Thank you again for those wonderful and inspiring thoughts... It will help me a lot not only in my love life but also i can apply it to my whole life especially in making right decisions as i journey life...
Can i invite you as a friend in mylot???
Thanks...God Bless and Take Care Always...
@therine (163)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
hi there chuchay!!!!Its just ok Roanne!..thats all i can say with all the problem that you are facing and complaining now ... i have a very great suspicion or doubt that that guilt you feel for that man is a sign that your are starting to fall inlove with him....and i want you to think not just twice that in love you sometimes have to risk..you have to follow your heart and what you really feel.. theres only both of you(that guy and you)who are involve in this situation..(only you!!!) your friends and family are out in this case... just try to focus mainly on what you feel and on what you want for him to be in your life..
i know this is kinda hard thing but i know you can do it... just follow YOUR HEART and on what YOU FEEL.. not on others comments, and discouragements.. don't argue with me this is my opinion....
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Yeah right...
hmmmppp...
Well, thanks for the comment my ever dearest friend of mine...
You are good in dealing with advices... But in your own LOVE LIFE??? How was it??? What about it???
I hope you can apply your own opinion to your own LOVE LIFE too...So that if you will fall in love with somebody, you know what to do and you know what is right for a relationship...ok??? I hope you will find now your right man at the right time my friend...
thanks again...
MWAAAAAAAAH....
@chique (136)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Roanne, if you believe in this saying, "Expect the unexpected", i also believe in this saying "Experience is the best teacher". If you really have feelings, go for it.. No one can satisfy one's life wiothout trying things that you want to try. But bear in mind that there are consequences awaits you.
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
Hi Shamz!!!
Thanks 4 that very inspiring comment...
Charge to experience??? Right??
Anyways, I will try to think twice about it...
There are many hindrances... Sort of against all odds...
Thanks again...
@zuiyirenjian (231)
• China
13 Jul 07
Waiting,waiting until something happpens,then you can realize the guy's real feeling to you.I guess I know your feeling. I think you are deeply infatuated with him but not failing in love with him...of course,loving a guy is wonderful.Good luck...
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Hello!!!
Its nice to know that...
I guess your right...
I just hope i will not get wrong in making decisions so that I will not get disappointed and be discourage in the end...
Thank you for your nice comment...
God Bless!!!
@butterfly39 (3904)
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
Well, it's obviously true that the guy is not really good and not doing anything for his life so do you still like him for that?...
You can tell him honestly that you're not yet ready for a relationship and you're still studying and tell him that it's really hard to commit.
@Roanne_20 (82)
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
Hi there Butterfly39!!!
Thank you for that comment...
I appreciate it...
I guess you are right...
maybe I'm being confused with what I felt right now...
Thanks again...
@comgurus (11)
•
14 Jul 07
Hi Roanne, Let me tell u this, do not because of how people feel not to love not even because of his babt girl. U are take a good look at youself and imagen what life will be if both of you end up together. U always misshis present, which means some how he could make you happy. i don't think any of those people who feel u should not love him know about that. they don't care except that u should not love him. they that said u shulod not love him, mean good.but i beleive u know him better because he will better show himself tou than any other person. some how, you stand in best position to choose. if u choose to love him, ur parent may not like him ini the first place, but they will later get use to him. and if u are not going to love him. it better u let him know ontime. let him feel the pine once and for all. as long as that is what will amke both of u happy. but do take any action to please any body and displease urself. ur father would have love to finish school but u and i know that it only school that detemine the sucess of man. i prffer to be illitrate and be confrtable that being educated and use the whole of life to look for job or serve one company only to depnd on pention when am old. i have many illetrate in my contry who gradute get things done for them. i don't know how to do it. because u have gone to school to learn it, i will pay for doing a good job. Good job means earn 8time what i will pay u and if u can't i will look for another grauate. u guys are many. that was what my boss told me before i resumed his work. i went to school, he couldn't but i would have preffer his positon. so think of what u are doing. u are the best to dicide. for u are the one he is more open to
TJ
