Submission

I guess it all depends on who you are. I have an alpha personality. Any man who ask s me to submit or obey will have a problem. But some people has submissive personalities and are willing to submit to others. I think it is a bad thing in general to say all of a certain group male/female/culture group should submit, because we are all different people and all programmed differently. Honoring someone is always good. Obeying, well that is another entirely.

If the women can differentiate between the Submission and Slavery, then no women would hate for Submission. Submission of a Women to a man, means she believes him COMPLETELY and can trust him for everything and anything. Slavery is something where the Man fully CONTROLS the women and women cannot do anything of her choice and feels bad. I believe Submission is really good and Slavery is very bad for the women.

The thing that is wrong with it is that a lot of women are now the ones to bring home the bacon. Most couples both work and therefore they should not have to wait on the other hand and foot. My husband works a full time job while I take care of the kids and clean. I usually have supper waiting for him when he comes home. My husband is a very loving husband and if I am going to be late with running errons then he will usually cook for me. Both of us take turns cooking and cleaning on the weekends because we both agree that our jobs are both full time jobs. At night when he comes home, he usually takes care of the kids so that I can do my work on the computer. He makes more money than I do but I still take care of the kids. I believe that if you are going to use 'Honor and Obey', then both the man and the women should do this. I submit to my husband and he does to me.

Hey I have no problem submitting to a good man but I'm sure as heck not going to submit to a bad one. I do prefer he doesn't expect it and it's a give and take situation. Each should be willing to submit and if both enter the relationship planning to submit than no one will lose. Sorry ladies but I believe it's instinct for us to submit.

Wow, what a complicated question. It isn't easy to answer. First of all some women are naturally submissive, as are some men. However, there are those women that don't want to play a submissive role in a marriage, and this has to do with both personality and anger over the fact that women were and are subjugated by men who think of them as being second class citizens, less than they are based soley on the fact that they were born with the wrong set of genitals. Women are not inferior to men, so why should they have to obey them or pretend to agree if they disagree with their point of view on any given subject? Not all men want a submissive wife. My husband and I debate politics a lot. If I were to agree with him on every given subject he wouldn't respect my intellect. He admires the fact that I have my own brain and I use it. If I were a pushover he would walk all over me, and both of us know this. On the other hand, some women are happy to remain in the backround and obey their husbands. That is their choice and it should be respected. Some women enjoy being subserviant, and feminists have no right to demand that they take on a role that they are not comfortable with. There are men who enjoy the submissive role too, and that doesn't make them effeminite.

Wikipedia definition "Submissiveness is the trait of being willing to yield to the will of another person, or superior force" Here lies the problem.... This definition suggests, by the use of "yield" that someone is being overcome by a dominant force.... No one has the right to do that to another human being... I see relationships as being equal partnerships....each partner having their own strengths...the exchange of power can go back & forth, depending on these strengths... For example...if the male is good at managing money, & his partner gets in a mess balancing her chequebook, then of course he should be in charge of that area....but if it is vice versa, then he should swallow his misguided pride & hand over the reins.... Situations that involve decisions that affect both partners, should always be shared....otherwise resentment is going to going to rear its ugly head , sooner or later... Soooooooo...honouring each other is a must....obey? I dont think so!

Submission/Obedience imply that your husband or whoever it is you submit to, has the right to tell you what to do, what direction to take in your life or what actions to take. What if you don't want to do it? What if you believe what the one you submit to is wrong? Are you supposed to just submit? In some cultures it is thought that men, therefore husbands are inherently superior to women and wives simply by virtue of the fact that God created them male. There is no way any woman or wife should submit to any man or husband simply on this basis. I cannot imagine how awful it would be to live in a culture where I had to do this. If someone wants to submit - well then let them. But generally it sounds like a negative thing to do. The fact that people were so against submission as a concept in the domestic violence shelter does not surprise me, as submission or obedience are linked to abuse and male dominance. In fact I would think it highly inappropriate to even bring up the issue of female submission in a domestic violence shelter.

Submission is fine if it is done out of love and if the husband does not use that fact to browbeat his wife in doing what he wants at her expense. Women are not slaves of men and if there is submission it should be because the husband is the head of the household and better able to make major decisions. The wife is not a "yes dear you are always right" because there are somethings that cannot be tolerated. For instance, a husband cannot say "I will use all the money I make for myself, and gamble it away" or expect the wife to make her own living even though he makes way more than her. He is not to complain that he works too hard. He is to protect her and when a husband protects and cares for his wife, the wife does not mind letting him make the decisions, within reason. The Bible says we are to submit to our husband but that should be done out of love not fear.

i don't think any person, male or female, should 'submit' to anyone or anything. It's such a degrading word? If you're talking about a man asking a woman to submit to him, then that man clearly is on a power trip. Why? What good comes out of submission?

there's nothing wrong with it, just like there's nothing wrong with a husband being submissive to his wife. the dynamic is different in every relationship. some have one partner or the other very much in charge, and the other happy to go along with that, as it saves them the stress of making descisions. this can be man submissive to woman or woman submissive to man. many relationships are a partnership of equals, where descisions are discussed and gone over together until the best outcome is mutually agreed. when there's a problem is when one partner expects the other to be submissive, when that other partner is not that kind of person. usually this happens on the basis of gender. a man assuming a woman should be submissive in nature because she is a woman. which isn't often the case. so there's nothing wrong with one partner being submissive to the other, man or woman, so long as that is the nature they have. when someone is pressured into being submissive or dominant (you do see men being pressured by their partner to take charge as it's what's expected of them, even when they are submissive in nature) against their will and against their nature, that's when there will be problems.

Hi sahm35! I think there's nothing wrong with SUBMISSION. I think, that's what in the bible, that women should submit theirselves to their partners so there's nothing wrong with that one. Maybe, nowadays, that is no longer the case and that a lot of women are already liberated and that they think that they are equal with the men. So, it's hard for them to submit theirselves to their husbands.

I think why the word "submission" was met with so much disdain at your case was because women who have been victimized by domestic abuse see it as submitting to a husband even if he beats you up to a pulp. My personal view is that first of all marriage is supposed to be a give-and-take relationship. Most often, men are the ones with a more dominant personality and they have been expected to lead the family. And although wives are expected to submit, it doesn't mean to submit blindly. The previous posters were right. If my husband treats me well and with respect, I wouldn't mind submitting to his ideas granted they were to benefit our family and our relationship.

Its not a bad thing. Its individual choice. However, I feel a woman though if she chooses to be submissive, must take care of herself as well. Its best to be protected in case the husband turns out to be a devil. Then she should not be bullied by the husband. Being submissive is one thing and being bullied is another.

In this day and age, submission is such a loaded word! I think if everyone had the same values then a wife submitting to her husband is not a bad thing. It's supposed to be the right thing. If the husband treats his wife respectfully and holds her in high esteem then submitting to him can only enhance that relationship. However, when husbands are not Ward Cleaver then it's difficult to be June, isn't it? I'm sure in a domestic violence shelter, women are not given a choice about whether they want to submit or not. So I can only imagine it might be a very touchy subject.

The word submission in the marriage setting has become a no-no thing for the woman. But remember that marriage needs a management structure or else it will never succeed. Submission does not mean slavery. It just means that there must be a leader in the family. I could not imagine if the USA will never have a President at the White House. But for the husband, he should be able to have a good and loving leadership and not abused this submission thing.

There's an old saying....Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup. It is natural For one person in a relationship to be submissive to the other. You can't have 2 dominate people in the same house for very long. If you have a constant power struggle The relationship won't last long at all. It is more natural For the woman in most cases to be more submissive than the man. The problem comes in when a man gets so insecure and doesn't know how to be a man. Then he thinks that to assert his "dominance" he has to belittle and hit the woman he is with. That's why the word submissive has become a word as you say to be hissed at.

submission is an act of responding to an authority or control. Submission was acceptable and expected in marriage many years ago. Then women got smart and fought for their rights and for the most part...got them. In a marriage or relationship, no one should controll or be controlled. There is a world of difference between submission and a couple doing things for each other out of MUTUAL love and respect.

Being submissive to your husband/wife is not a bad thing. It is very important between the relationship because it tightens the loyalty and trust.

everyone needs to be submissive at some point

What is wrong with this? You worked as a counselor at a domestic violence shelter and you have to ASK? I'm sorry but when you love and honor somebody and decide to have them as a life partner, this means you love and honor and cherish. It does not mean that one or the other dominates and the other submits. This is 2008, people expect a bit more equality. There is a wide range of gender roles these, either/or wife and husband can do a variety or any. The key here is that each person in the partnership figures out which roles work best, what they are best at, what they enjoy most, and with a little bit of figuring, most couples can break down the work load this way. If you hate cooking and you cannot cook but your husband is fabulous at it, why not? If YOU'RE the one who learned about auto mechanics because you bought four lemons in a row, then by all means, go do the tuneups and oil changes while hubby bathes the baby and folds the laundry. I don't get why people have to get so up in arms about it. In either case, there shouldn't be a matter of one or the other TELLING the other that they MUST OBEY. THIS is grounds for an argument, as it is literally an attack on another person - who is your life partner and your equal. Decisions ought to be mutual. When you marry it is about two lives. When you have a child, then it becomes about three, four lives, etc. It is your joint household and family, it does not solely belong to one. Negotiations have to come into play, compromise, etc. The idea of submission probably dates back to the times when women were not free, where women were always considered property. First they were property of their fathers, and they were married off to whoever would benefit the family - to heck with whether he would benefit HER or not! This is awful! At this point, now she is 'property' of her husband who likely wants her to have lots and lots of babies, preferably boys. He wants her to do all the taking care of the babies, and the house, make sure he always has dinner and clean clothes and that the babies don't bother him when he wants to be sleeping. Oh, and she also has to go sleep with him when he's in the mood... Anyway, women are not property. We do not 'belong' to our fathers, we do not 'belong' to our husbands. We belong to ourselves, and we are whole without another person, whether society says so or not. We might honor another person's wishes out of love, but there is no reason for us to bend over backwards in order to submit to another person unless it is also our desire to do something for that person. The harder you squeeze sand, the more of it slips away. If you try to force somebody to do something, the less likely they will do it.