I would like to have your advice please!

I really do not undersatnd why they are doing this to each other, can't they accept that each person got his own habits and believes. I really do not think that it would be a good thing to become a veg. if you do not really believe in it. And she should not eat anything that she does not want. But then again i really think they should solve those things within themselves.

I'm against to force someone change,even for small things but from the other way they are both adult persons and if they want change few things just with the hope these will make them happier and will live better who can disagree.I don't like the way she push him change but i don't know her too.If really she has big problem sitting at the table and watching him eat meat?Or maybe is the only small thing she ask from him..... For example I had more important issue between me and my husband.As you know I'm Cristian and he is Muslim a bigger difference that vegetarian issue ,we decide that none will try change the other religion or will confuse.We both agree at these and until now nobody from us have any problem.I go to church whenever I want ,pray or do whatever I want,from the other way I know that Muslims don't eat pork,so since I got married without even my husband asked I stop cook pork.I didn't see as big deal,and I didn't like the idea I cooked only for me. Sometimes the things can be easy but even the small things without understanding we can turn then at huge problems......that's is my opinion.

i don't think that it's appropriate to make someone change their eating habits proposing conditions! it shows narrowness of mind. maybe she fears to share the same table with him while she is having a veg dinner and he a non-veg. and in some conditions people start to expect that their wife would cook non-veg dishes for them though herself being a vegetarian. as happened in one of my cousin's case. but i m all against it, in my opinion people have their own choice to choose their eating habits and things like that which involves one's personal values. one should not force someone in doing something when they really do not wish to do it. that would probably make things difficult in their lives later!

I feel one should not compel others in food related matters.Give and take policy is important for a relationship like marriage. Anyway your cousin brothers fiancee is not going to cook any non veg dishes for him and hence he is going to eat outside so there is no need for giving up eating.Also he should not compel or request her to take anything which she doesnt like.To me this is such a simple issue but people when making promises and unable to fulfilling in future may result in small problems.so better to be frank with what they like. I know a couple in which the husband like non veg food and the wife is a vegetarian.he never compell her to prepare anything nor she restricts him to take those dishes outside or at home self prepared by him.

In my opinion, if both parties are agreeable and have consented, there should be no problem. However, one cannot guarantee that there would not be more "conditions" later on, especially when both get to live together. As couples to be wedded, there would have been certain mutual understanding achieved and have accepted each other's plus and minus.

Dear Deepak I don't think that your cousin brother fiancee should do this kind of behaviour .. I really don't like her behaviour .. if we love someone we should not force for something he/she don't wish to do. Love does not mean boundness. And I really don't understand how your cousin agrees to this thing and then he also started forcing the girl to eat egg.. What does that mean .. both of them like to levy terms and conditions on their partners ?? Well I strictly don't like this type of behaviour. When you love someone you should accept him/her with what he is and do not try to change things for your own pleasure.

I think you are right Deepak. Anybody should have his/her liking where food is concerned. There can be other things which the spouse can dictate, but preferably not food. Also, being veg or non-veg should come within self. Being a veg having all cravings of meat do not meet the real purpose of being a veg, do you understand? About your cousin's situ, i think the wife should not eat egg if she doesnt want to, and your cousin should not give up his meat dishes. My boss, who was a non veg, married a veg wife and after 9 years, only now, he has also become a veg, by his own choise. Marriage should not be a constraint on anybody. It should be an answer and an oasis without stress and full of friendship and trust. I hope you will understand and make your cousin and his wife understood of these facts. Otherwise, at the beggining, they will be ok, but with time, they will run to numerous problems and the marriage might even not work out. So tell your cousin to be careful. This is a once in a lifetime decision and you have to take it properly.

If you love someone you just love them, and to make them change for me is not love. I would not convert - religon, foodwise or anything else. I would not want my husband to change either since it is who he is and whom i fell in love with. I do not think it is fair to force him into not eating meat... BUt on the other hand - if he feels that it is not a big deal then who am I to say not to =)

I am a meat eater but I could see this relationship as being very complicated. MOst vegetarians see eating meat as disgusting and I have also seen them literally through up when they see others eating meat. I don't think that they should make a discision to alterate their eating styles like this but as most of you know, love has no boundaries.

No, trying to change people is one of the biggest mistakes we make. Chances are that's not all she wants to change about him and it will probably just lead to problems.

Yeah, i totally agree with you. Every individials should be taken and respected in terms of their likes and dislikes in everything. In a way, one has to adjust from the other and vice versa. Its just a matter of compromise u know. . . On a personal note, i wont deprive my soon-to-be husband on things/foods that he is fond of. Just that. Take care now. (",)

This is a very serious issue in a marriage and I believe that if they are still planning to marry, then they are taking it too lightly. This is not something that will be an issue once in a while. This will happen every day, three times a day. If she is going to be cooking and he is going to be eating and they do not agree on what is being served, this could prove to be a disaster. When people decide not to eat meat any longer, it is usually final. And it takes a miracle for someone to give up meat, when they see no need to. This is one of the things that a couple would have in common to bring them together, not something that they will constantly argue about. Whatever the case, I hope they settle it before the wedding.

Well, experience wise I disagree that"CONDITION" be given to husband about their choice of food. Though Vegetarian people are considered likely to be more healthy, I think freedom to choose is a "humans prerogative" that should be respected. Considering that compatibility between mate is a give and take relation, both should respect their likes and dislike. Tactful dialogue will resolve these.

There's nothing wrong as to two people getting married with opposite appetite on food preferences. I think, as long as there's no problem in terms of financial capabilities, then nothing to worry. Who knows after a month or two, these two are now having the the appetites of both world: the guy enjoying a hearty vegie menus and the wife now also tries some meaty recipes. The relationship will be more enjoyable day by day since both is experimenting on each others love of individual foods! What matters both respect and maintain their matrimonial vow of love and loyalty. All differences will be remedied.....

hello deepak, firstly thanks for a very pertinent post. this is a common problem with the world squeezing and more and more inter caste marriages, especially in India. now, as for your query, i feel, any person on earth should have the freedom of food. did that sound funny? but seriously, i feel, we should be free enough to choose our food. but, in our country, i have found that ppl who are veg kind of despise non-veggies!! it gets serious problem when a non-veg girl marries into a veg family, no one accepts her and she has to change. on the other hand its not that strak the other way round. your brother being a non-veg, i guess, he would have less problem. (ours is a still patriachial society). but, deepak, i feel, the girl should not be be forced into non-veggies as it would be very difficult for her. personally, being an out and out non-vegetarian, i would not like to give up all the allures of meats and kababs. trust me, once you have it, you just had it. lol..

I think that by trying to change each other, even before they are married, your cousin and fiancee are sentencing their marriage to a life of doom right off the bat. They need to be able to accept each other for who they are, and that includes eating habits, quirks, and all. People that can't do that, usually end up divorced quite quickly.

It sounds like she is not marrying him for who he is, and now wanting to control what he eats? I wouldn't like that if my husband all of a sudden said, I don't want you to eat that or else if you do, I won't marry you?!? not nice at all!

As a few people on here have mentioned this woman is completely wrong to make demands of her soon to be husband. What happens if he demanded that after they marry she Can't wear makeup anymore, or that she stay at home with their children and not work outside the home, or that she start eating meat. That would be unfair and I'm sure she wouldn't like it at all. They are together because they love each other and can deal with their differences. Why si she now that they are on their way of formalizing it and declaring their love to everyone (and god) is she making demands? That is silly, childish and compeltely not right. I think he should demand that once they are married she not only cook him meat but she eat it too and then see what she says.

hi i read your profile and it said that you live in india. as good as i know India is a democratic country and has the right to do anything. i think your cousin brother should carry on eating non vegetarian food and he should advive her future wife to eat whatever she want instead of listing to each other. because whatever we eat it goes into our stomach instead of the other person. its your stomach so its your choice what you want to eat. thanks

Hello there, if you will ask me.... I will marry a person because I love him and because I love him, I also love all the thing in him, including his eating habits, mannerism, preference and evrything.. Why change his personality for the sake that you both have the same to share... "No 2 persons are alike" every person is unique in their own little way...Maybe for the sake of being a soon to be couple, they should try both each of their eating preference and not to control one's craving... Hahaha... Hey, people loves to eat!!!!