girl friends...

I am 26 years old and here is the info that I have gathered in my little stroll through life so far. I have 3 FRIENDS. Gilbert~he is also my boyfriend. We are very open with our communication and hold nothing back even if we know it will hurt the other person, it is better said and resolved then left unsaid and allowed to blow up. We laugh together and love each other, and work together to make each of our lives better. Rob~He moved away to the US to live with his now wife. We met in highschool and are the best of friends. We talk on the phone and msn mostly now but when we were in school we were together everyday and often later on in the evening too. We never grew bored of each other because we are very much alike both giddy goofy and spontaneous. He has always had my back and I his. Through the good and the bad I didn't have to look far to see Rob there with me. Riff~A guy I met through friends in a pub back in 1999. We mostly have music in common. He plays guitar and I play bass. We spent hours upon hours chillin' and playin' and critiquing each other. We make the other strive to be better at what we do. I know that if I ever had an issue although he is now over touring in Japan (and making quite a good go of playing the Blues professionally) I know if I called he would come running. Now don't get me wrong, I have friends..... but these 3 fellas are my FRIENDS. I had a female best friend in highschool and she lied and backstabbed, slept with several of my boyfriends and somehow always felt that she was in a competition with me. There are 4 women I would consider friends but they are co-workers and thus far we haven't gotten together outside of work. There are a few other women that I talk to on occasion but there are only 3 people I know I can completely put my life in their hands and they won't crush it or throw it away. You see and this here is just a personal thought and I might be completely WRONG here lol but I think that women feel we need to prove soemthing. Maybe it stems from the 1950s housewife syndrome and then we found "liberation" from the womens movements in the 60s and 70s. Even today in the workforce it has been proven that we don't get paid as much as men, we are expected to work harder because we are still expected to do the majority of the housework as well. I think we are now born with a chip on our shoulders and women feel we are always competing even with each other to be prettier, sexier, stronger, get better paid, be smarter, be popular, etc... I'm not saying you should abandon having female friends because we need them. They can connect with us on a more emotional level. They can laugh at our baby jokes or share the stories of pregnancy, help give us advice on guys, emotions etc... Guy friends are great but if they don't treat you like they want to screw you then they treat you like their mom or their kid sister. They don't HONESTLY like talking about feelings or womanly things-it does make them uncomfortable. However, guy friends are blunt with their answers and blunt with how they feel for you. You always know where you stand.

maybe you overwhelmed them or they just get intimidated with your presence. why don't you try to be low profile and always have a listening ear and and try to know your so called friends better maybe they are not worth your time. in due time time you will friends who will understand and respect you.

Ah Stacy that is horrible! I don't really understand how people can do that to others. I do know that it is everywhere though. The age may be part of it, not yours but theirs. They may not be mature enough and selfish. Maybe you will have to look for an older friend. I know I am several years older than you but if you ever need to talk just pm me! :)

I think the reason may be u are not social with others or u might be take simple things seriously or u dnt mingle with u friends. I to have many friends they too make joke of me and i dnt take it seriously.So my advice is some of u friends may be loving u verymuch and simply make joke of u ,so dnt take them seriously just move on. DOnt tell any of u friends that u care about them and u r my good friend because they no u. If u r interested to chat about u feelings and want advice plz reply

is it not you?

Girl friends is one who plays the important role in our life.she only the initiative for the people.The proverb says that "Every sucessfull man there is a women"

It is the complain of the girls all over the world.May be the genetic predisposition of fighting to prove their femininity I think.

Finding 'true' friendship is very difficult it seems in this day and age, I think it's harder for women than men, it's not a sexist comment but I think because you are so open and friendly and trustworthy you expect others to be too, but sadly they're not. I treat most people as 'acquaintances' first and I don't trust them until they have proved themselves, it's like building a wall, you build your friendship or relationship brick by brick. Is there no social groups you can go to? I'm not going to be hypocritical here because I am not a socializer. You are a great person and anyone who doesn't want you for who you are on not worthy and it's their loss, they miss out, not you!

Its very hard to find a very good friend but don't worry we will come across one day. One day we will know who cared for us and who will be there when we need. Jealousy is the word that arises between friends and dwells we should try to avoid this jealousy. Stacy you might be smarter than your friends that might be the reason why they trying to put you down. Anyway good luck and god bless and be happy.

I know what you mean Stacy and probably yes its your age. When I was around 23-24 i.e. 2 years ago I too have experienced a lot of friends turning their back suddenly and abruptly. Probably it is a phase in life when people start finding other things to do and it in turn makes the sensitive ones feel rejected.

This is interesting to me that you think its your age or were you live. I have wonderful girlfriends and always have but I am very clear with my friends and always have been that I dont like to b-tch, I think we have to be careful what we except right from the first step of the block. I draw the line in the sand and wont cross over it. If they are two faced they were never your friends in the first place. So be clear to yourself what a friend is then demand it of yourself and then of your friends. Goodluck I consider you a friend and I love my friendships with out back stabbing and b-tching.

hi friend, i didn't met such friends like yours,but i do feel lonely and helpless. in this world,i suddenly find that i am all alone.i am going to break up with my bf who i consider as my only friend, for whom i enstranged my girl friends, because he doesn't like me to make friends especially male freinds.i am a little sad. although i was not cheated by my girls,i think i feel the same loneliness with you.

Hi stacyv81, i have same problem with you. I can't really get along for long period of time with a friend that girl. Most of my friends that stay friends until now is my oppsite gender. And you are right, either they talk about me behind my back, or just get mad, something like that. I just don't get it also. And I'm 34 yrs old right now.

you know, it's not your friends who should be held responsible, its you! we should be friends with people but we shouldn't get ourselves attached to them so that when they leave us, we go on crying after them thinking they stabbed me in the back! I know your a trustworthy person but maybe ppl just find you extremely emotional! try to be mentally strong and don't go on makin friends with stangers.

I understand you I have 2 close friends myself. One I have known my whole life and the other I have known her for over 10.Good friends are hard to come by and hard to trust.

Hi, I seemed to have the same thing with you in having girls as decent friends. I felt that the best way to save myself from getting hurt is keep them at bay. But then again, they won't be called as my close friends. Thats okay with me.

I would have tried to be your friend if I would be staying near you. I like to be friends with true and honest people. Lets cotinue our friendship on mylot anyways.

i think it's just a female thing...almost like they don't want to get along with others. i really don't have any female friends, and when i did, they normally tried to sleep with my boyfriend or something. I get along much better with tomboy chicks. they're more level headed. I'm 23, too but have had this problem as long as i can remember. and i'm pretty easy to get along with, so i'm sure it's not just me.

I feel you girl!My gfs do that all the time.I don't feel loved by my gfs anymore.I hang with guys now.At least they don't stab you in the back.I don't think it's you or your age or where you live.It's nature!Take care.

You know it is hard to get a true especially girls. Cause they like to talk about everything so much even about their friends although they were trusted. I myself have some female friends that also can talk bout their friends behind their back. At least she told me about my other friends and that made think she would do the same with me. That's why until now I don't have a true female friends. I dont have many female friends as well. Take my advice here... Don't share your secrets so much to someone until you know her really well that she could be trusted.