The Tension Mounts - We disagree over the Tattoo.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
July 12, 2007 7:20pm CST
As many of you know, I will be celebrating my 50th birthday on July 30th. I have decided to get a tattoo of a small butterfly on my right leg just above my ankle bone. My hubby is 100% against this idea. We had a heated discussion over it just an hour ago. He said I should buy a new dress instead.
Years ago, before I met my hubby, I wanted to get a tattoo. I almost got it done on my 40th birthday. I am determined to get the butterfly tattoo on my 50th birthday. I know it will cause conflict, but it is something that is my personal decision to make. EB
13 people like this
36 responses
@Sushicook (690)
• Sweden
13 Jul 07
I really think you should get it. A tattoo is a great and memorable way to celebrate a landmark in ones life, like turning 50. :D A dress you can only have for so long, but a tattoo stays with you.
Do you know why he's so against it? Is it personal preference only, or is it something else?
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
He thinks it is a waste of money. He does compliment others on their tattoos.
@Sushicook (690)
• Sweden
13 Jul 07
In that case I REALLY think you should get it. If it makes you happy it could never be a waste of money :D
My mom got two tattoos on her shoulders, both aquired after she turned 50. We only live once, right?
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
Those are exactly my sentiments. I have long wanted to get a tattoo of a butterfly and the time has come.
@Aprilfreelance (96)
• United States
13 Jul 07
Why are you so intent on doing something you know your husband is 100% against? If he doesn't like it, don't do it. A tatoo is not going to make a bit of difference in any aspect of your life except to have ink embedded in your skin. It sounds like it is going to impact your relationship, though. Is the tatoo worth compromising your marriage?
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
14 Jul 07
If something as small as a butterfly tattoo ends a marriage, it wasn't as good as it was thought to be.
@rsmith512 (1561)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I am sorry that you and your hubby disagree.
But, I think that if you have been waiting, and now you want to do it because it is like a milestone in your life...I totally support you.
I think that you should do it, or before you do it...you can tell him of the importance it is to you!
I hope that everything works out alright! And, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!! :D
Oh, and is that like the tattoo you are going to get?
Because that would be some cool, pretty colors! LOL :D
2 people like this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I think you should just go get it done. Its something you have wanted so I don't see where its a problem. Its your body. Did he happen to say why he doesn't like tattoos? Its usually the other way around and the man wants one but the woman doesn't. I have been thinking about getting one and so has my boyfriend.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
He told me that the butterfly will get mishaped as I age. I am not getting it on a part of the body that stretches and wrinkles. I don't recall many wrinkled ankles.
@dhouston (417)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I really think that if you value your marriage at all, if you have any respect for the relationship or your marriage, you will skip the tattoo. Or at least try to discuss it sanely. You haven't mentioned why he objects. Have you asked him? Have you asked if there is any compromise he'd be willing to make, such as something you can do for him if he stops objecting? Marriage is no place for defiance.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
14 Jul 07
He knows that I have wanted a tattoo for a long time. His problem is seeing people with huge tats on their bodies. That is not what I want. I would let him get a tattoo if he so wanted. The choice would be his.
I don't believe that he would end the marriage over something so small.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
13 Jul 07
I think he will get over it, if it is something that means a lot to you then do it, maybe it would have been better for you to get one in a place that only he ever sees, that is working on a mans mind but then if you want something as nice as a little butterfly you will want to show it off...good on you for having the courage to do it...
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I am sure he will be fine with it once I get it and he realizes that it is something that looks very pretty.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
It is just a heated discussion. Well, maybe heated was the wrong wording. He disagrees with my getting the tattoo. I am following through with this.
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
13 Jul 07
LOL Well It is your body. I personally do not have a tatoo. LDS are told by the Prophet to not have tatoos. I do not judge others though. It may be an interesting birthday for you. LOL Good luck in your decision
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
14 Jul 07
You could never say anything that would offend me. I value your friendship and your comments. Huggers to you.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
My mother is LDS and has a couple of tattoos. They were there before she joined the church. I believe that a tattoo is like jewelry, it is there for enhancement of beauty.
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I did not mean to offend you. Please forgive me if I did offend you. I really ment it when I said that I do not judge others.
1 person likes this
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I think if you really want it you should get it. I understand that your husband disagrees, but lets face it men and women don't always agree. Besides it's your body not his. I say go for it!!
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
13 Jul 07
Not to come between wedded bliss, Elusive, but I don't see why you shouldn't have your butterfly. I was always against them, but now I wish I had gotten a small one myself. If hubby wants you to be happy, he should concede this one thing for your special birthday. I hope that the two of you will come to a mutually satisfactory meeting of the minds. GOOD LUCK!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 07
With every relationship comes a little resistance. He will adjust.
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
13 Jul 07
If this is something that you want then by all means go have it done..I almost think he doesn't want the tattoo to take away from how beautiful you are...He likes you just the way you are...It is your choice and once he sees it I am sure he will agree...My husband doesn't want me to get one either so I told him, fine then, I will get it under my boob where you can't see it...LOL..
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I think you should get it. It is your body and your decision. I don't really understand just why he would have a problem with it. Maybe he just doesn't like tattoos? Regardless, it is something that you have wanted for a long time and not just some passing notion. go for it!!
2 people like this
@Penguinsangel (3498)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I think thats a great idea. And hey whats wrong with a small one, especially where you plan on getting it. I think maybe just maybe your husband will like it one you get it.
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Why is your husband so against it? I can see if it was going to be some BIG- ugly tattoo—but after all it’s your body and your choice- I don’t like tattoo’s- but I would not tell someone they could not get one- I hope you like it when it’s done!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
16 Jul 07
That sounds delightful. Your hubby is probably feeling his age and being a bit old fashioned. Just drop the subject and go ahead. It's just a permanent body adornment and not as if you were fixing to have a limb amputated or a bone fixed through your nose.
For many years my older sister was against ear piercing but she has hers done now.
@kelly60 (4547)
• United States
15 Jul 07
You are right, it is your personal decision to make. If it is something you really want you will just have to decide whether or not it is worth the conflict that it will cause. I imagine that he will get over it eventually if you decide to get the tattoo.
@scarywhitegirl (2766)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I'm fortunate that my fiance loves tattoos as much as I do, so he doesn't ever really mind me getting them. Money is a little tight right now, so we're waiting until Christmas to get our next ones, but neither of us see spending money on tattoos as a waste of money. :)
If it is your own money, though, you should tell your husband that it is yours to decide what to spend it on. Tell him that if he really wants you to have a new dress, you'll gladly accept that as a birthday gift from him. :)
@rohitdinho (189)
• India
13 Jul 07
mayb u can do sumthin else..mayb u can ask ppl to protest here or setup a small thread in which a lotta ppl wud come n request ya husband to please allow ya..put wont it hurt @ ankles..??.
1 person likes this
