i'm starting to lose myself....
By clarah_cille
@clarah_cille (654)
Philippines
July 12, 2007 9:08pm CST
i know that i love this person so much because i always wanted to be with him all the time. i have done everything for him even if he's not asking for it. all i wanted is for him to be happy by my side. but as the time goes by, i realized that as my love grows deeper and deeper everyday...i also slowly lose myself. it seems i'm not with myself anymore. this is what my friends told me. they are not against with the special someone that i am with right now, they are just too worried about me because it seems i'm already forgetting myself. and i'm gettign aware of that because of the things that are happening right now that i don't have to enumerate...but all of these happenings are not really good because it started to ruin me and my life. i wanna make things right but i'm still confused right now how to fix myself. i know it really needs a lot of time.....
2 people like this
3 responses
@budsr03 (2350)
• Canada
13 Jul 07
Nowhere here does it say if your man is loving you back, or helping you to stay as who you are! I also think you can make someone want to leave if you smother them with too much love. I hope you will think about what you will lose if you continue this way? Please take care Clarah.
2 people like this
@clarah_cille (654)
• Philippines
16 Jul 07
my man loves me too. i have proven it with the things he have done for me as well. its just that the situation between us is a little bit complicated my parents is against him and some unexpected events makes some things worst. we've through a lot and i know we can resolve this if we will just do our part. thanks for the comment...(",)
1 person likes this
@deliciouslyjuicy (364)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
you do stupid things when you are in love, that is but normal...
losing oneself is a symptom that getting in a relationship with that guy is unhealthy..
if i am right, you are a pleaser.. you always want to make sure that he is okey and he is happy with you and that you always try your best to do as much as possible almost everything to make him happy...
but have you asked yourself, IS HE WORTH IT? WHAT HAD HE CONTRIBUTED TO MAKE ME BE THIS WAY??
re-examine your relationship and BE A WISE WOMAN TO DECIDE WHICH PATH YOU WANNA GO.. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BE A WHOLE BEING AND NOT GIVE YOURSELF TO OTHERS WHEN YOU ARE NOT WHOLE BUT BROKEN because this would lead you to be acting what you do now...
low self-esteem and feel unsecured i supposed is what you really feel...because why would you be trying hard to make him happy IS IT JUST TO KEEP HIM AND AFRAID OF LETTING HIM GO???...
@clarah_cille (654)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
i guess you are right...all the things you said are absolutely correct. maybe i do need to examine everything, from myself to our relationship what i am right now. it really brings a lot of changes to me and most of it are not desirable.
maybe i need to think of myself first. you're right that i should love myself first before giving myself to somebody.
thanks a lot for the advice. hope i can handle this well before its too late.
@clarah_cille (654)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
ouch!!! it really strikes me. all the things you have said are absolutely right.
i do love myself, i just think that i'm losing small parts of me as each day went by.
well, maybe i need to wake up now and do the right thing.
@deliciouslyjuicy (364)
• Philippines
1 Aug 07
i've been there... and i know how it feels like to be stupid and do stuff which you dont like but still do just to hold on to the relationship and that is to loose my identity because of a man..
this is the common mistakes of all women, we tend to think and influenced by society that a woman is nobody and weak without a man in her life, plus as we grow older and still we dont have a bf we have this connotation that we are gonna be left behind to some sort which is a stupid thought...
i know its difficult to do the right thing when you are controlled by your overwhelming emotions... I TELL YOU ITS NOT LOVE!!! BUT A DESPERATION OR A FEAR OF SOMETHING why you still holding on to it...
HOW CAN YOU LOVE A PERSON WHEN YOU DONT LOVE YOURSELF IN THE FIRST PLACE...
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
13 Jul 07
I have been very lucky with my fiance, the man I fell in love with and who fell in love with me. We love eachother and we want to make eachother happy, but we also want to maintain our own individual identities. We have our time together, and we have our time apart. We do things with eachother and for eachother, and we do things for ourselves, spending time alone, too. That is very important in a relationship. It has worked very well for us.
1 person likes this
@geridawo (1)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
I strongly agree that in every relationship there should always be a time for ourselves to spend alone. At a certain point in our life we need to reflect sometimes to be able to discover more of our selves, and it is very important that this prerogative must be understood and respected by our partners...Love really works that is accompanied by understanding and respect.
1 person likes this
@clarah_cille (654)
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
i get your point of view and sometimes i blame myself as well why our relationship is like this. i admit that im really a jealous type of gf. there are times that i didnt allow my bf to go out or hang out with my friends. i focus too much on him and didnt realize that we both need each spare time to be alone or with our friends. i guess its partly my fault. i cant blame him if time will come he will decide to let go of me as well.
