How can I help my sister & her fiance through this hard time???
By Gorgeous24
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
United States
July 14, 2007 3:00pm CST
My sister and her fiance have been together for 8 years, they have 2 extremely smart boys that I adore. Last year he was having some pain in his chest so he went to get it checked out, turns out it was a tumor that was growing on one of his ribs and yes it was cancer. He had the surgery to remove the tumor and completed all his chemotherapy..they ran more tests and the cancer was gone. We were all so happy hearing that he was cancer free because it was a long and painful process not only for him but our whole family.
Last week he was having pain in his chest again so he went to the doctor and they ran tests all over, to our horror they found 2 more tumors growing on his ribs so they were tested to see if the cancer is back and YES its back:(
Now he has to talk with the doctors to find out what his options are now that they can do to fight this all over again.
The whole situation is very stressful for them, I just would like to know what more I can do to help make this any more easier for them (if possible)
I take my 2 nephews whenever I can so my sister can have have some alone time with her fiance or I make sure she knows im here if she needs me or someone to talk to but I was wondering what else I could do to help them.
Has anyone ever been in this same situation, what did you do to help your loved one through this stressful & painful ordeal?? Please any advice will be greatly appreciated!
3 people like this
11 responses
@34momma (13882)
• United States
15 Jul 07
just keep doing what you are doing by being there for them. that is what family does, they support each other in the hard times. letting your sister have time to herself by taking her boys is a great way to support them. just love them and be there when they need you. i will make sure i have your family in my prayers tonite. be strong and stick together.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
15 Jul 07
well i lost both of my parent just 20 days apart. so i know about lost and support. i know how hard it is. so you just keep your head up and know that what ever happens is the Lords will. thanks for that comment. i try to do my best to be a friend when i can. stay strong my sister
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Hey girl, Im trying my best to be strong for them but its hard when I look at those boys knowing what could possibly happen to their father who they look up to. It makes me really be thankful for what I have in my life and to never take anybody for granted.
Im going to do my best to be here when my sister needs a shoulder to cry on or if she needs a babaysitter, whatever it is she needs and I can provide im going to do it because I know she would do the same for me.
Thank you very much Sakina...your advice is ALWAYS appreciated.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I honestly don't know what to say except let your sister know if she needs anything that you will be there for her. Your sister, 2 kids and her fiance are in my prayers. Your in my prayers as well, as your doing a wonderful job being there for your sister and her family. Please keep everyone updated on how everything is going with treatments and such.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Your welcome. I believe in the power of prayer. With prayer and love, he will get through this. He proved it the first time. His faith just has to be strong. He can't give up at any moment of his treatments. Make sure at any moment the kids makes things stressful, that's where you come in to help. Basiclly keep doing what your doing, keep your sisters spirits up as well. Her getting depressed will rub off on him.
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Thank you so much chertsy for keeping us in your prayers.
Its going to another battle we have to fight but as long as we all stick together we will be okay (I really do believe that)
I will definitely keep everyone updated on when he starts his treatments and how there going.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
14 Jul 07
I will pray for them. They should get married, for the sake of their boys and I suppose she is thinking that they should not have waited until they had lots of money for that large wedding. It would be something for the boys to see a wedding picture of their mother and father. If he passes, she can depend on the income to support her and the boys. Do what you can or what you are doing now. Your sister has to think of her children and you can be a kind aunt to them. But I think she is going through a rather hard time of uncertainty. Not only is her fiance possibly dying even is he does go through chemotherapy, but she has her two sons to consider. I am also thinking of the legal ramifications of them not being married yet. I would hate that she would suffer financially. I suppose that is on your mind as well. Do what you can.
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I dont know if they have discussed getting married at this point in time, it would seem to be a good idea in the legal sense but once again I dont know if they have discussed that.
Thank you for responding.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
17 Jul 07
I guess things are different there.
What difference does it make if they're married or not? Honestly it's not a big things if they're married or not & if you're talking legality, as long as he has a will, he can leave whoever, whatever he wants. Here in Oz, if you're together for a certain amount of time, they class you as being married anyway!
1 person likes this
@Melissa528 (744)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I can't imagine what they are going through right now. I think you are doing everything you could do for them and you are being a GREAT big sister. You have to give your sister a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to when she is ready to talk. Taking the boys to give them a break and some quality time together is also good. How about a double date? No kids... Maybe dinner or a movie (something to get their minds off of everything). Last but not least you all have to pray. Miracles happen and I think all of this is happening for a reason. My thoughts and prayers are with them! I hope "W" gets better and God gives them all the strength they need to get through this. xoxoxo
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Thanks Meli, You know what I never thought of going out on a double date..thats a good idea for all of us to just go out and have fun to take our minds off of the situation for awhile.
My nephews drive me crazy but I wouldnt have it any other way, we have fun when were all together.
Thanks for taking time out to respond!
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
15 Jul 07
When I was seriously ill I found all I wanted was someone to listen to me, to cry with me and to laugh with me. I was so tired of everyone saying everything will work out or how can I help you, it was just important to me for someone to listen to my pain and anger. I pray for your family and will keep you in my thoughts...
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Thank you kitty1234 as your advice is coming from experience which is the best kind of advice.
I hope everything is okay with you now.
Thanks so much!
@Bobbz21 (155)
• New Zealand
15 Jul 07
I have been in this situation before, I lost my grandmother to cancer, and it was a very stressful time for our family, we went thru a lot of pain and heartache, but the only thing that kept us together was the love and support from our family and friends, so I suppose all you can really do is just be there for your sister and family, support them when in need....
I hope you's the best and just be strong and never let go of faith....
1 person likes this
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Yes I believe you we all get through situations like these because of the outstanding support of our family and friends.
I always have faith and I will continue to be here for them.
Thank you for responding
@Gorgeous24 (1091)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I hope everything is okay with you now lovein, you must be very strong willed if you got through that alone.
Thanks for responding
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
17 Jul 07
I do feel terrible for the family, i cant even begin to imagine what they're going through & i will keep them in my thoughts that he pulls through. I hope they can operate & get rid of all the cancer again - hoping it doesn't come back.
Keep doing whatever you're doing, i think there's only so much you can do & i think you're going about it the right way, just be there & be strong for them!
I think that when you look after the boys while their Mum spends time with their Dad is a super thing to do, it gives them time together & you get some time with nephews.
I don't really think there's a lot else you, or anyone else can do, just keep doing what you're doing.
1 person likes this
@fredgame (1260)
• China
18 Jul 07
In fact, it's so sympathetic, we'll all suport them in prayer.
i think you can help them both financially and in kind as you've being doing. that's very strong support since you're not a doctor to remove it at once for him.'
prayer can move mountains, so always prat with your sister whenever you go there and who you do, your appearance pleases your sister.
1 person likes this
