break free
confrontation
depression
depression
escape
loose ends
missing person
peace
relocate
vanish
Not IF But When
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
July 15, 2007 7:51am CST
Following on from 'Grass is always Greener'
I have decided to make a break in October
That gives me a couple of months to plan, make sure I don't leave behind any loose ends and cover every eventuality, making sure that all the bills are taken out of my name and that I don't leave myself open for prosecution.
It gives me something to work for, something to aim for and something to look forward to, it gives me a purpose in life, it gives me hope, it gives me plenty of time to sort stuff out.
I am getting together with a good friend this week so we can discuss the implications and the things I need to do to prepare for my great escape.
I will need to lean on others too for their continued support and having my retreat in a couple of weeks will also help.
My parents are 110% behind me too, but I don't want to get them involved, because he could turn on them and that's the last thing I want so it's not an option to escape to my parents.
I have worked out some scenarios and some 'plans' to do it, it does mean a nasty confrontation because I will be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life if I 'vanished' and he could report me as a missing person to the police or worse.
I am full of turmoil and I want a better life for myself, my sanity and my heart and all the while I stay here I will never ever get out of my depression.
So to my friends I still need the support and if I suddenly 'disappear' in October please don't worry
Hugs xxxx
8 people like this
16 responses
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
Awww wolfie, I just got back from my days of hibernation and now you are leaving me. Seems like you need to do about a hundred things before your great escape. I am also in the process of planning one for myself. With all the stress and pressures that I need to face each day, my nerves are forever shooting up right to the sky. Go ahead and try to take everything in stride. Good luck my friend. :)
@mummymo (23706)
•
15 Jul 07
I am so happy for you that you are finding the courage to do what you need to do for yourself my beloved brother! It is good that you are being sensible and making plans to ensure that you are not going to be liable for any comeback! I am always there for you , you know that and I am so proud of you! Remember not to vanish altogether - would be so worried about you! xxxx
1 person likes this
@weemam (13372)
•
15 Jul 07
Do I understand you right pal ?, you want to get away from where you are living ans start afresh , I think you have been needing to do this for a long time pal , you have been getting more depressed by your flatmate and surroundings for quite some time , You need to live somewhere that you can relax and be your lovely self and no pressure .I wish you all the luck in the world pal , please though (PLEASE) find a cyber cafe and let us know how you are and how you are doing pal , A quick email even would do me , Just want to know how you are , take care my special precious friend , xxxxxxx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 07
Wow Wolfie he sounds one nasty Person I mean why is he like that
Where will you be going and what kind of Life will that be having to look over your Shoulder all the time
Just be careful please and you know without Saying that you have my Support xx
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 07
I have sorted it out my dear friend, I am off to Rhodes then I'm going to tell him I've been offered a job out there and I've signed a years contract, he can't touch me and it's a compromise that way I'm not vanishing and I'm being upfront and telling him but not face to face because that is a dangerous confrontation I do not want and neither do my close friends and family. I will return to the UK tho xxxx
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Hiya wolfie. You know Arizona is lovely in October lol...Good luck my friend.I'll miss you lots if you disappear. But you have my email address. Keep in touch. As you said it is probably best for you to go. Just like me I need to get out of my depressed mode that happens about october. Because of the cold here. I hope we both make it. Hugs xxxxxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
15 Jul 07
I would miss Zeus terribly (in the photo) but he's not mine at the end of the day and I would miss my frogs too, I have four now! Thanks to Octavia and a bigger tank, I've got countless books about them and have been buying in food for them, that is one factor that I have had to consider too, it's a great sacrifice, thank you for your support x
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Ohh, how thrilling to finally make that step, way to go Wolfie, I am so very proud of YOU. You know, it is hard, but once you get through it, the feelings will be justly rewarded. To have a place of your own, how nice for you! I hope your roomie doesn't go nuts, I have found that when I expect the worse I am usually pleased by the results, I hope this for you! We will be here for you, should you need our help!
Be well, my friend!
1 person likes this
@dragonstar13 (1465)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Wolfie,
I think I've missed something in your discussions, but from what I've read it seems you are in an abusive relationship and have decided to leave. If that is true...
In a previous post you said you had made your bed and now have to lie in it. It is very typical for someone who is being abused to believe they are responsible and and deserve to be abused. NOT TRUE. Only the abuser is responsible for his actions and nobody, especially not you, deserve to be treated that way.
I am glad you have decided to rescue yourself. You are going about it the right way, planning everything in advance, tying up loose ends. Make sure you take all your important documents -- birth certificates, passport, bank statements, etc. You might want to take smaller items to you mom's house for safekeeping and she can send them to you later.
I will miss your posts, please don't gone too long. You may have to come back with a different identity, but I hope you will let your friends know it's you.
Hugs.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
15 Jul 07
It's more mental to be honest and I can't be the easiest person to live with I have BPD and I am a natural depressive, he has AS (Aspergers) and is also a Jekyl and Hyde character, charming one minute and obsessive the next. Thanks for your support appreciated.
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
15 Jul 07
Well good luck to you my friend! You must do what you must do, and I hope it all works out for you. I will be away for 2 weeks myself in October, but I'm sure we'll talk lots before then, - and PLEASE keep in touch one way or another!!
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
16 Jul 07
Well done Wolfie, I'm proud of you taking that step. It takes a lot of courage hun, something you have deep inside you. I wish you all the luck in the world and best wishes for you in your escape.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
15 Jul 07
I know what you must be going through being in a situation like that where you want to escape..But tell me can we still be your friend, wherever you are? You are such a lovely person and I wouldn't want you to disappear on me lol..I mean will you keep in touch?
I tell you if the reverse pension plans pay that means I get rich overnight and it means i can give you a job and you can live anywhere in the world as long as you have internet access lol..I mean it..Jem Invest will need you ..You are a great business partner and can't wait to meet my spiritual brother..I mean, you have my wedding to come to lol.But do whatever you have to do and remember we are here to give you ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT you need without cramping your style or treading on your toes..We love you for you and that is what counts..
one mad Greek that has at last a bit of peace and quiet to mylot lol..
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
15 Jul 07
It's good to hear that you have reached a decision, wolfie. No one should have to stay in a bad situation. Take things one day at a time and you will soon gain the independence that you are seeking. It goes without saying that you will always have the love and support of all your friends here on MyLot. I wish for you rainbows and lollipops.
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I'm happy to hear this also- The thought of staying until October- stinks though- You haven't been happy in a long while from reading other posts of yours- I wish you the best of luck- Stay strong- and do this- I'm sure you have support from family and friends- Noone should have to stay in a bad relationship-
Good luck!
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
16 Jul 07
i am glad you are finally making your escape, my dear friend. It has been a long time coming. Please be safe. Please make sure it is all worked out before you do it. i don't want anythign bad to happen to you. If you disappear in October, i will still worry about you until you come back...so you better come back!
