My daughter is in an abusive relationship

This is getting out of hand..She needs to realize that he may kill her and the child if she does not leave him..There is no reason for anyone to hit anyone else, especially an innocent child..have you contacted social services, or told anyone at the hospital..If she does not get out of this relationship and he hurts the child, then she will be help accountable for that..You need to tell her that she needs to get out for the sake of the child if nothing else. If she wants to stay then so be it, but someone has to get that child out of there..even if she gets mad at you, you need to step up and tell the authorities about this..No way would I let this continue. Knowing that a child is being hurt is making my skin crawl..please do something before it is too late..

Abusers try to isolate their victims from family, friends and resources that might help them get out of the abuser's world. It is imperative that you remain a part of your daughter's life. There are so many things that can help you help your daughter. The first is to become educated about the issue and cycle of domestic violence, how it affects your daughter, granddaughter and yourself. The best place to do that is whatever local agency is in your area to help victims of domestic violence. Make no mistake about it. You are a victim in this, too, and it is important that you have a support system in place to help you so that you can be there for your daughter. The second thing is that it rarely works to try and tell a woman who is abused what to do. She already has that in her life, someone telling her what to do. She needs an opportunity to realize she has choices so that she can start to reclaim her life and be empowered because she is living in a situation where her power is being taken away. It is important to realize that she is doing the best she can to survive. You may not know what her abuser has threatened her with. Often, abusers will threaten to kill their victims' children, their parents, etc., if they leave or report the abuse. This man sounds very very dangerous!!!! Contact your local crisis center, please, to develop a safety plan for yourself and your daughter. Finally, the fact that he has abused your grandchild, makes me think this is something that should be reported to child protection. In many states, child protection and courts will impose a no contact order on behalf of the child. Your local crisis center for victims of abuse can help you with this. Document as much as you can about the abuse you know about. It will be valuable for your daughter when she decides to leave. Make no doubt about it, the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they decide to end their relationship and leave. Please, get all the information you need on how to do this. There are many national organizations and websites that your local agency is a member of including the national council to end domestic violence, and others. Don't tell or try to force your daughter what to do. Be there to offer her choices and safety. In some cases when the courts order a woman to keep her abuser from her children or they will take the child away, the woman is so beaten down and fearful she stays with the abuser. It is possible that you might be able to write a restraining on behalf of your granddaughter. You might not be able to persuade your daughter to leave but you might be able to protect your granddaughter.

Oh my i am so deeply sorry about what's happening to your daughter and i will say a prayer for both you and your daughter and granddaughter.. You know I don't know why people stay with people that abuse them.. I think what it is they think one day they will stop or they will change.. But you and I know that isn't true.. Once an abuser always and abuser, I'm sorry but that's how I think. My aunt is the same way she thought for many many, years my uncle will change and he never did he abused her and her children. Once her children were of age they moved out faster than anyone I knew. Truly I don't blame them I would of have left a long time ago.. They even called social services on their father but of course nothing was done abuse was still in the home. Your daughter I hope will think about what is really best for her and her daughter and if she don't i truly am sorry. But some people don't get it abuse is not ok and something needs to be done about it. I wish you the best.

I can tell you what it is like to be on the other side. I was abused by a man for many years and the thing is that u really do belive that it is your fault. He makes you see all things differently, the way he wants you to see them. The sad thing is that before she realises this there is nothing you can do. she herself has to decide that it is enough, otherwise she doesnt stand a chanse. Getting out of a relationship where u have been abused demands ALOT of strengt and support from the people around you, coz usually he will not let go that easy - he will try to lure you back and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Usually it gets hell of alot worse after the relationship is over, when he realise that he is no longer in control, coz that is what people like this do - they feed on controlling other people. I do not suggest that u nag her about it but be there when she needs you, and she will. I will keep my fingers crossed that she soon will find the strenght she need to get out.. I did and I have never ever regretted it - not even for a secound!

as a mother, we wanted that our child are safe to the people around them...but in your case you need to do something so that your daughter will not go into that kind of situation,she was in her miserable life..don't wait the time that you cannot help her..act now..good luck

If you sense that your daughter's relationship may have signs of being controlling or abusive, do not hesitate to talk to someone about it. No matter how strong or smart individual she may be. Do not think that she should try to handle the situation on her own. Do not be afraid to seek the advice of others. At the very least, they can provide you with a fresh perspective of her situation. If the situation worsens, the prudent course of action is to remove your daughter totally from that situation. This is painful, but is generally safer and ultimately better for both parties than allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. I would suggest that you seek outside help. If there are definite signs of physical abuse, you should report this to an authority that she should get immediate help. Realizing that your daughter is in a controlling or abusive relationship can be very traumatic, even after she has gotten out. This is often because she has a tendency to blame herself for staying in the relationship and her behavior while in it. While we all have to take some responsibility for our decisions, we are not always to blame. It is important to seek counseling after such a relationship so that she can gain a better understanding from her situation and how to learn from it. Counseling and the support of family and friends will also help to heal herself and re-establish her own identity as an individual. I hope you and your daughter will be able to get rid of him as soon as possible before its too late. I know God is there always to help you and will given you strength to face all these obstacles that your daughter is facing right now. May God bless you and your daughter always!!

Oh HOLD UP!! He is abusing the CHILD as well?? Then I'm sorry but you NEED TO call DSS/Family Services!! You cant do anything about your daughter unfortunately other than be there for her when she needs you and whatnot but IMO Its YOUR OBLIGATION as a Grandparent to step in where the child is concerned....

I feel for you ldy. I was married to an abuser once and nothing my parents said made me want to get out, I just got fed up one day and left him. Does your daughter work outside the home? Is she worried she won't be able to support the child? I'm also sure this creep has reduced her self esteem to zero. I guess the problem I'm having witht this is it's one thing to watch your daughter, an adult get abused and keep your mouth shut about it. But to know that your grandchild is being abused also and not do anything? I am not trying to judge, but if your daughter isn't willing to step up and take the necessary steps to ensure her own childs safety than maybe it's up to you to do it for her. Who knows? Maybe if you called the authorities and took your grandchild away from her it would open her eyes as to what's important. THe worst that can happen is you get an innocent child to safety. SOMEONE needs to step up to the plate here.

What an awful position to be in as a mother & a grandmother. This may sound awful, but I think it's something to consider. Perhaps you should contact social services for your granddaughter. If your daughter chooses to be in this relationship as an adult, there isn't much you can do to change her mind. You can just be ready to help & hope someday she realizes she deserves so much better than this. But your granddaughter didn't choose this life for herself. She's a child & she needs to be protected. Perhaps child protection's involvement would help your daughter see that she needs to get out of this situation. It can be done without revealing your identity.

I am so sorry to hear this! And I know it is hard to get your voice heard in matters like this. If she has been to the hospital or doctor often, you might give them a call and just ask if they can track the visits and the injuries, just let them know that you know it is an abusive relationship but that your daughter is covering for her husband. I had to do this with one of my neices and it did take a while, but finally they got through to her and she spilled the beans to one of the social workers. I hope that you can get this matter resolved without anyone getting hurt more than they have already. I will keep you, your daughter and granddaughter in my thoughts and prayers! Good luck!

I think your daughter's husband badly needs psychiatric help. Why dont you report him to the police or any other association protecting batterd women? Why is your daughter still with him? Why dont she divorce this son of a beach? Dont take the law in your hands my friend. It will be better then if you take your child and flee from from this place.

you need to call the police. He is not a good man to you and your daughter anymore. He can't do this to her, we have a law here. Ok, you have to talk to your daughter about this and make sure she is ok. After that, you should move out of where you are living right now... dont stay close to him. If he is a man, he never do that to her... that's not good at all. I wish you all the best

Talk with your grand daughters school counsler. The have a way of getting the child to talk about things like that plus they can watch for bruises and contact the authorities. They seem to have more pull than anyone else when it comes to that situation. As far as your daughter there is nothing you can do. She has to want out but he has mentally abused her enough to think that is as good as it gets & that no one else would want her. I've seen it happen many times. Just make sure she know you will be there for her when she needs you. Maybe if they get your grand daughter out then she will realize she needs to be out to see her daughter again. I wish you all well & hope you can get your granddaughter our of there. She doesn't deserve that kind of life.

I am sorry you are going thru this! I was in an abusive relationship and absolutely no one could convince me to leave. I tried to cover the abuse. I was afraid to leave really. Two things helped to convince me to get out. I had a neighbor lady that called the cops each time she heard him lose control. After 3 visits...the cop warned me that they could and would remove my children from the home if i chose to stay! Even tho he was not abusing them. Within a day or two from that warning, he tried to force the car of the highway going 60 mph. I left him that day. Is she aware that she can lose her daughter if she stays and allows this abuse? If the child speaks up or if anything happens she will lose her. Maybe you could call your local womens crisis center for advice. They are tremendous in offering legal councelling and directing you on who to call etc. I will pray for you.

There is really nothing you can do except be there for her. An abuser will convince the abused that they deserve the abuse. I know because I was the abused. They brainwash you and make you feel you don't deserve any better than what you get. The abuse of the child is quite something else. Get in touch anonomously with child agencies. Itis hard to be the parent of an abused child or grandchild. Seems you are damned if you do or damned if you don't. Let her know if she wants to talk and not blame you for your feelings that you will be there for her. If she puts herself through it, that is one thing but your grandchild is another thing.

I am so sorry to hear that. She will be in my thoughts. Unfortunately you can call the police many times for her but if she doesnt want to press charges, there is nothing that you can do.

Abusers know how to work it. They know how to cut the other person down until they feel they are nothing without the abuser. They play mind games and instill fear to keeo the victim under their wing, so to speak. They are masters of maniulation. He probably used to hit her and then say "i'm so sorry, it will never hapen again!" i wonder if he even does that anymore. All you can do is continue to try to get her out. You can't really force her. She evidentally has been basically brainwashed into staying with him. If you honestly feel her life and her child's life are in danger, then you need to contact the authorities.

I am so sorry to hear that. Its very bad bad thing. I guest you should ask your daugther to leave him for her own and for her girl's sake. You better ask her why she defence him so much after what he has done to them. If she really doesnt care about herself at least she has to care bout her own girl. If its hard, I think you should report him to the police. Hope this all will get better soon. And your daughter will get well soon.

firstly i would like to say that you are a very strong woman, as a mother its hard to see your child being abused. i dont understand as to why your daughter doesnot leave the guy, is there anything that she is tied to ( husband) and may be you could hepl your daughter by reporting this to the authority. you either do that or one day you will regret not reporting this... and who knows she might thank you one day for helping her.

Gosh, I got through your first paragraph and unfortunately I can't read anymore of it. It's so sad that woman go through this, but yet can't seem to figure out that they have to get out of this nonsense. Not to scare you or anything, but my daughter is still mourning the loss of her girlfriend who was killed in April in florida by her boyfriend. My daughter always noticed him not wanting her to spend time with her friends and always bad mouthing her appearance and wardrove. You can read about her in the news in florida. My daughter is still shocked and saddened by the loss. I hope you can knock some sense into your baby girl, unfortunately I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you have to before it's too late. I'm only being direct, because I wouln't want you to be in this situation. Talk to her, bring her news clippings, show her pictures, anything to open her eyes to reality. Good luck to you and your daughter.