Friends Requests ???

I have no expectations frommy friends here on mylot. When I accepted them to be my friends there were no strings attached to that acceptance and its really ok for me if they reply to my discussions or not. Of course they always have the right and the option to do so and I respect that.

I don't particularly know why they do this - it usually happens to the newbies. I have added a lot too and now have turned off the email notification button on some of them because I get up to 30 discussions a day from them and not one of them have answered any of my posts. I usually get a new friends request if I have answered the posts under "discussions with no responses" link.

Calais,I entirely agree with your assessment. I have also noticed this thing. Many members send me the request for adding them as my friend, but I hardly see them on my discussions. I also fail to understand when they are not going to participate in the discussions, why do they want themselves to be added as our friends. Although, I also sometime, unable to post my replies to all the discussions of my friends, yet, whenever I find it possible and the discussion interesting I do post my replies and follow up the comments, counter-comments also. Good Post indeed! Thanks!

I have a lot of friends on Mylot. I have added a lot of people and even though I'm sure I don't respond to all of their discussions, I try to reply to as many as I can. I am not sure why I have so many friends, but I don't see it as a big deal when people who are my friends don't reply to my discussions. I noticed that there are a handful of people who always reply to discussions and I see them over and over and I think I probably respond to their discussions the most because I see them so much on here.

Hello Calais! Too many questions!! I understand your frustration as I have experienced the same thing many a time but still I don't mind. As to why people ask for friendship, I think it's very obvious. When someone feels that you share an interest with them, have something in common even if it is just the locality you belong to while all other interests are different, but the ones whom you are referring to that is those who do not respond to your discussions just ask it to get replies from you in their discussions. I noticed an increase in friends' requests after a discussion by a member here who encouraged people to add as many friends as possible to get over a 100 replies and then there was a boom. I personally accept all the requests just so I don't miss an opportunity to meet a great person on the other side. Perhaps I am successful only about 10% of the time but it still is enough for me. After accepting, I do ask, however, every new person with which I haven't had an encounter in any discussion, as to why did he/she added me? and I accept whatever reason they present. There reasons are much varied, like they liked my response in some discussion, just liked my avatar, liked one of my discussion in which they didn't participate, belong to same interest area, are friend of one of persons on my frieds list and even just added without reason. I accept all of these reasons to explore the person in a hope to find a great personality. and I must tell you that I have found many:-) I personally have never asked for friendship just because I don't want to be an unwanted guest or I don't want to put someone in a difficult ethical decision about whether or not they should accept my request. I don't do it also because I may not be able to respond to their discussions and thus fall into same category that you are speaking of. I do, however accept each and every invitation and have never denied a single invitation. I rather feel honored when I get an invitation and look forward to find a beautiful person and a human behind that username:-)

Don't worry my frend, not all of frends are like that.. i assure that ill respond to your discussions as soon as i see them.. good luck my frend.

I don't know why they ask to be your friends. Ithink I might start asking them why They want to be added to my list. Maybe that will get them to respond to some of my discussions. I have a lot of friends like that. But I'll keep them any way. They just might be leads to good discussions. Who knows

I think that when some people start up in mylot they automatically thing...get lots of friends. Then what...well I don't know. I have only asked 2 possibly 3 people to be my friend all the other friends requested me. I have no idea why some of them wanted to be my friend. Some I do. But I wish I knew more when I started. I would have been more selective when accepting friends. I also wouldn't have so many ...There is no way to keep up with them all. I haven't even been here much. But the first place I go is discussions my friends started and respond to whatever I can. If I can get back into the mylot habit. I am going to get myself more oranized and reconnect with some people I think I've lost touch with...lol I wish I had a clue even why some of the people that chose me did.

I think for some the idea is to get as many friends on their list as possible. Why? I have no idea. I have no idea why a 16 year old Indian boy or a 23 year old Pinoy girl would want to be friends with a 54 year old Aussie gal. When I get a request I check the profile and generally find I have nothing in common with these people. If, after reading, I find their discussions of interest, I turn the alert on. Otherwise I leave it off as I don't have the heart to deny them. I think they just ask people willy nilly just because they can.

I have had the same experience honey and even considered denying requests but I only do this if I think that someone is going to spam me! I think some people actually think you earn more if you have more friends! Never mind - at least by accepting friends we meet some wonderful people! xx

Honestly I do not know where they are all coming from or how they get my name to request to be my friends, but I too have had a lot of friends requests lately. Even though I haven't been that active, which is what amazes me. I can understand when people have been posting a lot of discussions so that their name is constantly on the recent discussions or hot topics page where these people would all come from. oh well, I guess I would just delete them or ignore them until they reciprocate in kind to you. :)

Hi Calais, I am a Mylot member of just 1 month...so I am not how others work with their friends request..but I'll tell you what is happening with mine. I have noticed a number on members requested me as a friend after I made a few responses to their sites that they liked. Similarly I have requested friends...not for the numbers..but for those that feel like 'kindred spirits' by the content of their posts...or by the way the add to discussions of others within their friends groups. As I am going along I am finding that out of my 60 plus freinds there are about 20 or so that regularily visit the Perspectives site...and I return to theirs. My prime reason for being on MYlot is the discussions. I love to share in intelligent conversations with others. I am not interested in the 'light ones' as my first choice. Although if the topis is something from my interests list I will add to it. My on-line conversations are more of a philosophical nature and I am not interested in having a whole stable of friends with nothing in common. So as I go I am becoming more selective in who I invite to join my sharing circle and visa versa. I am going for quality...not quantity so I check out profiles, intererests...and their discusions and responses before choosing to add more friends to my list. Even though it is only a month...I am truly enjoying the inspiring, uplifting, heart-warming talking points from everyone who has take the time to share their 'perspective' on my site. It is working for me...hope it adds a perspective to what you decide to do.

Well till know i haven't experienced this .Because I have join this newly ,so when experienced let everybody know and share my experience.

i be your friend forever. i slap bad friends with green gherkin over nose holes. you tell me who. i like your picture.

People often request to friends because friends is the only way who fulfil that request.

Maybe it's the other way around, their request is to make sure that their topic will have many responses. I have read in one of the post of my friend the secret of achieving many responses and one of them is to have as many friends as you can have. I have experienced this thinking that the discussion I have started will gain many responses but just as in your cases, only few turned out came to be. So right now to be fair with my friends, I tried to respond to their discussion particularly those with not so many one and choose the friends I want to be as much as possible.

yeouch! that hit me. LOL whenever I add a friend, I seldom look at their discussions so it goes that I seldom reply to it. however, I do reply to the "discussions my friends started" that interests me. that's the way for me. I don't go profile by profil just to look for a discussion to reply to. I go to the link "Discussions my friends started" and then I choose from there which discussion interests me and then I reply. just like here. ^__^ with regards on how I add a friend, I usually add up those that replied to my discussions or whoever I see in the "discussions from my interests" link which started or replied to a discussion that interest me. ^__^ I hope I won't be judged by this. ^__^;;

Hi Calais, I think they try to find everyone that isnt on their friends list and ask. I have the same problem with a few of my friends that I had to turn off the notifications due to being overwelmed with e-mail. I dont even come close to responding to every friends discussions but I do read them and if I have something to say I'll throw in my two cents. I personally just try to find friends that I seem to have something in common with. Take care, Terry

I can't speak for anyone else, calais, but I will ask to be added as a friend if someone makes an insightful comment on a discussion that I really like or respect. I do my best to respond to all of my friend's discussions, although sometimes it takes me a while to get around to everyone. Hope this sheds some light on my reasons.

Even if they don't respond to your discussions, but maybe they hope you can reply to theirs. No matter what their purpose is, I always accept anyone's adding request.