Such a horrible mother.....

hhhmm I have to say I'm caught about this one....I've got children of my own and yes they have their moments and I have to act on it BUT I DO comment on parents who are IMO less than suitable....for example..when I see a mother (or father) too busy yapping with a friend in Walmart while their unruley childrne are running around the store harrassign ppl, knocking things off the shelfs on purpose, yelling and carrying on and the mother IGNORES IT for well over 10+ mins then I'm sorry that IS horrible parenting.....When I'm in a restaurant and a child is throwing their food at other patrons, yelling, screaming, the entire time they are there and the parent/caregiver IGNORES IT that IS horrible parenting.... Sure kids act up..its their nature BUT the parent/caregiver NEEDS TO IMO maintain control and be mindful of their children and what that child is doing...Rather than just letting them run around like psychos....I've seen it happen far too frequently and its more often than not THE SAME DAMN KIDS EACH TIME! Not to mention you can tell the difference between when a child is just having a 'moment' and when a child is an unruley, undisiplined child...

So true. I responded to one such post earlier. I do find it hard to listen to especially the mother yelling...meaning when they are cussing and really going overboard...bordering abusive. I can recall clearly a time when I was in the store with my children when they were all young and one was just being horribly whiny and fussy. Normally I would leave the store. This instance I had no choice. My vehicle was down and we needed groceries. A friend had gone out of her way to give me a ride into town. It was not a pleasant experience for any of us and I tried to rush through it quickly. One lady came up to me and actually yelled at me and ordered me to get out of the store! She was not an employee...just rude. You are so right. Sometimes a kind word to the mom will drastically change the situation...especially if she is feeling overwhelmed or even embarrassed.

I usually don't have a problem because my kids are so well behaved BUT my youngest is 2 years old so he is going to be a pain in the backside sometimes. Usually, I speak loud enough to him so that anyone who were to judge me could hear me say he's having a tantrum and people usually just laugh at it. I was actually told I was a good mum for letting him sit out his paddy without smothering him! The only negative comment I have heard so far was from some bloke as I was in town. Now, as far as I was concerned, there was not a problem. I would normally hold my toddler's hand but as I had several bags of shopping, I couldn't so I just made sure he walked by me. I stopped because we needed to cross the road. I could clearly see my toddler, he was just a little behind so I waited for him to catch up and, while EVERYONE else was looking and saying how cute he was, some stupid bloke made a comment about kids being kidnapped, lucky for him, I had arms full of shopping! I just thought how dare he judge me like that. He probably didn't have any children and what business was it of his how I look after my child. If people like that weren't so judgemental, they might bother to take the time to notice that I never once took my eyes off my child. Considering this person's comment, I now know to keep an even closer eye on my children if I ever see that man again if that's the way he thinks.

This really needs to be said, and by more people. I seriously see this country getting similar to the kgb era of russia - friends turning in friends, enemies turning in enemies, jealous neighbors spying on neighbors, family afraid of each other for if they offend someone or have a misunderstanding they may well be turned in. Vengence, back stabbing, busy bodies, or those with a hero complex - enough is enough, give the benefit of the doubt and try to think the best of others, yes?

I don't believe in horrible mothers.there is no horrible mother unless of course the mother tries to murder her child (not self-defense) or murdered her child or disowned a child.That is just terrible,terrible.My Mom has never yelled at me in public,spanked me only if I missed a Quran recital and pulls my ear only when I'm in the car or at home.Yes,all kids act up so it's no biggie if you see a Mother scolding her child in public or yelling at her children.She's allowed to do that.Single mothers are strong individuals that should be nominated for Nobel Peace Prize every year.They're the deserving ones.So yes,I agree,misheleen.No mother is a horrible mother.

I am a mom of 4 kids. I will tell you I have had some really bad comments made to me about how I dicipline my kids in public. If they act up in the store I will push my cart away from me and take them all out of the store throwing a fit, because they didn't want to leave the store. I had one woman say someone needed to call DCFS on me, because I told my son we couldn't stay in the store, because he was acting like an A**. I went to my car and wrote out my name and address and said please call them then. My daughter has a blistering skin disease she gets large fluid filled blisters on her joint area. Honestly, it can be thought of as abuse. Heaven(my daughter) was about 6 months old and I was waiting on my mom as we were leaving a diner, and this woman kept staring at my daughter's blister on her ankle and giving me such a horrible look. Like she thought I was abusing my daughter by burning her or something. So, I asked her why she was looking at me so terribly. She said someone should report me for what I do to my daughter. So, I handed her a card that I made about my daughter's skin disease and walked away. Too many people make judgements on others without knowing the cicumstances of the parent or child. Not much you can do, but smile and say report me then and give them your name and address. People have no idea what could have happened prior to you being in public with your children, and they think you are just being mean to them or you are an abuser. Just have to smile an say oh well, I guess.

I feel the same way... How can these People judge others by just a glipse of their actions.... I would be classified as one of those Bad mothers i guess if they saw me out sometimes, as my son is always running around and it is because he is bored he hates shopping but I have No other choice and he isn't always that bad but if somebody saw Only the time when he was acting up which may only 5 minuets out of 2hrs shopping, then they jump to conclusions. No one is perfect. I have tried many things to stop his behaviour while out but in General he isn't that Bad overall... but others Don't Understand, what some parents go through.. I see many parents struggle with their kids daily and I smile and let them Know they are Not alone and it Helps Calm the situation... I wish my children would be Perfect little Angels while out, but I know that can't Always be the case..... Thanks misheleen I think I needed that rant too :)

I agree with mrsbrian to a certain degree. Even though I was a major brat my parents were consistant with punishment and I was almost always good in public if I hadn't been then there was hell to pay. I remember one time when I pushed my dad to the limit when we were out eating so I had to go and wait for him outside the door until he was done. That sucked! I didn't get lunch!

Very well said! I've probably made comments about the same things at one time or another myself but you are probably right. I'm sure people look at me like I'm a lunatic sometimmes when I'm out with my kids, especially today. I am just so tired and cranky and I have a lot of BAD BAD things going on that I'm trying to deal with and today it was just all too much for me to handle. I see your point ~ a very good one! Thanks for venting :-)

You bring up a very valid point. Many mothers (and fathers) have valid reasons to discipline their child as they see fit. I too, would never condone any form of physical abuse to a child. However, I was popped on the butt many times when growing up and I am no worse the wear for it, and in fact, I'm sure I am better off because of those pops! I think that many times, we are to quick to judge the actions of others before knowing all the details of the situation.

Well put! I couldn't agree with you more misheleen! Parents should not be judged on how they raise their kids, because one does not know what they are going through unless they are going through the exact same thing themselves. Why is it that some people want or do report these parents for raising their kids as best as the parents can are usually the ones that wonder why some parents let their kids run 'wild'. Something is seriously wrong here and it's time to stop blaming the parents. I don't tell others how to raise their kids. So please people, don't tell me how to raise mine.

While im sure single parenting is tuff I dont think its an excuse to allow your child to do as it pleases in public, good parenting starts at home single or married,The parents I see are not at there wits end they are just plain allowing the child to misbehave and run all over the store while there chitchatting with someone or just plain ignoring it,and being at your wits end dose not mean you should be smacking your child and im not talking abut a swat on the bottom. I just wish they had the curtisy to either take the child to the car untill they can behave or wait to shop at a better time.

I hear ya loud and clear believe me. One night my hubby and I were in Walmart and my 9 year old was just walking away from us faster adn faster. We said , Jessica, slow down and stay with us on 2 different occassions and she still continued. So my husband raised his voice a bit and took her by the arm and said she was going to walk with us. You would have thought by the look we got that we had just beat the living daylights out of our daughter when all we were trying to do was keep her from becoming a statistic in the parking lot. I have popped my children on the tooshy too--and you would think that I have done something horrible. I dont' judge someone or I try not too...especially where child discipline is concerned because I have found what works for one child, might not work for another.

I know how you feel, my son had ADHD and when he was younger, he was horrible to take places and yes it is very hard to deal with him. I also felt like people where thinking that I am a bad parent because my child was running around like a monkey and not listening. But, I also know that we did take him to the doctor and we followed the steps to dealing with a child with ADHD and impulsiveness. So, yes when my son was throwing a fit, I ignored it, the doctor said that if they get attention for that behavior whether good or bad, they still think it is good. And, yes I think a lot of people are very judgemental without knowing the situation. My mom used to tell me the same thing, walk a mile in their shoes and then see what your reaction is. I know there are a lot of abusive parents in our world, but not everyone is and it seems that people get lumped in as a whole group for a one time thing.

Well said Sweetie as I am also getting fed up with it there are to many People judging and I think they should put themself in the Shoes of the Mother and see if they can cope

It drives me crazy when people are so judgmental about the way I am raising my child. I don't yell at him, ever. And I only spank him when he is doing something dangerous. I am definitely not a bad mom. But sometimes when we are out somewhere, I get those looks. I really want to tell the people off, but I don't, because that wouldn't be a good example for my son. We live about 45 minutes from the nearest mall, Walmart, Target, etc. We try to get all of our shopping done on the same day. Some days it takes us a while, and every once in a while, my son is cranky by the end of the trip. We leave as soon as he wakes up from his nap, but he's only 19 months old. All the time in the car, and then being moved into and out of several stores can sometimes be a bit much for him, especially when it's really hot. We still have to get what we have to get, though. I'm not going to leave the grocery store or Walmart just because my son is starting to be cranky. If my husband is with me, one of us can go out to the car with our toddler and wait, but otherwise, I have to go ahead and buy the stuff. Some people say we should just leave and come back at a better time for him, or leave him with a babysitter. We don't have a babysitter, though. I'm a stay at home mom, and we are currently stationed over 1000 miles from our nearest family member. I don't have the time or the money to make 3 trips that include over 90 minutes in the car each time, when I can get everything at once, so I am not going to leave a cart full of groceries, or other things we need. I do drive around and get him calm AFTER I pay for my stuff, if I know we have another stop I have to make that day. Another thing that we do, that a lot of people think is terrible, is we take our son out to eat kind of late sometimes. People are so quick to judge and tell us our son should be in bed by 7 pm every night. They don't stop to consider that schedule doesn't work for everyone. My husband was working night shift, and the only time he got to spend with my son was from 7-9 pm. I let my son stay up while my husband was getting ready for work, too. And then I started putting him to bed after 10, when my husband left for work. So he was rarely asleep before 11. He sleeps until 9 or 10 and then has breakfast. It wouldn't make much sense to have him eating dinner at 4 or 5, like so many people think we should. When we are at home, we usually eat at 8 or so, why should it be any different when we are out? Just because someone else always has their kids in bed by then? So what. My husband has a different schedule, why shouldn't my child? Sorry for the long response! I guess my point is I totally agree with you. :)

I can understand your sentiment regarding this matter, monkey. There are just too many people who like to stick their nose to others and have a mouth wide enough to boil my blood too. This has been a part of the society's life. I can feel for this mothers who need to deal with children everyday of their life. I'm no exception on this department since I have two of my own. It's good you were able to vent out your frustration. Now, you can take a deep breathe and keep rocking.

i am a single mom of just 1 But i knkow that i can not just take her to the car and wait for her to act right oir tell her we are going home and i dont offer her a treat every time we go somewhere. She know to be good if she even wants to maybe get something! But that doesnt always work anyway shes too smart for being 5 she goes around me and doesnt care about any bribe she will tell me i dont care ill just have my daddy buy it and its true! It doesnt matter what i tell him she will get it, and they now just have started not letting her bring the things he gets behind my back to my home because i was taking them away. so sometimes yes ill let her whine or if i am frustrated i might raise my voice but any parent who says they dont is crazy! or must have a fairy tale life because just 1 kid can drive a person NUTS!! so Misheleen73 keep on doing what works for u honey and tell the people who say your in the wrong to KMA!!!