would you let an 11 year old medicate herself?
By rowantree
@rowantree (1186)
United States
July 16, 2007 9:02am CST
My daughter has been taking Strattera. She also takes Singulair at night for her allergies. I packed her suitcase for a trip she was taking with her Dad and her Stepmom. I packed the medicine in those daily dosage containers (2 weeks worth) and I also put a bottle of chewable Motrin in there, just in case.
My thought is that her father would take the medication out of her suitcase upon arriving at their destination and administering her medication.
Nope. Her father left the medication in her suitcase and when he remembers to ask, he will ask her if she's taken her medicine. I talked to him about it, he became very upset and I doubt very much he took the medication out of her suitcase.
Geez. Trying to get him to act like a responsible parent is like pulling teeth with spoon. I wish her Stepmom would step in, but I think she's consistently made to feel like an outsider when it comes to our daughter. That's a whole other discussion.
Anyways...so am I dead off here? Over-reacting? Should an 11 year old be in charge of serious prescription medication?
6 people like this
12 responses
@trk918 (254)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Since dad isn't old enough to be responsible I guess your daughter has to be. Anytime she's going to be gone for several days make her a list to reminder her of times & dosage so she can check them off as she takes them. Make sure you remind her how important it is she does this. If she has a cell phone program the reminders in it also.
Request to talk with both dad & stepmom about the importance of her meds.
1 person likes this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I put reminders in my cell phone daily...I dropped the ball with that one, although of course why would I think to program her phone? I had a long talk with her father before they left about her medications. Thanks so much for bringing up the cell phone - I'm going to be using that to remind her of other things! :)
@jeanena (2198)
• Bucklin, Kansas
16 Jul 07
My daughter 12 now but 11 when she started taking Strattera she made sure she took it each day before she went to school. She was also responsible for her impramin at night . So yeah she is old enough I am sure and if she does it for you at home chances are she will there.You wont be there for her forever.
1 person likes this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
You're right, I won't be there forever. Everyone is different though. My own daughter needs for me to administer her meds.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I don't think that an 11 year old is responsible enough to be in charge of their own medication needs. I would have another talk with the father, with step mom present. If you are comfortable with it. ask her if she would be willing (next time) to carry it and make sure the daughter took it. Because obviously if dad won't do it, someone needs to. Even if I had to pull the step mom aside and talk to her about it, I would. Next time, don't even pack it in the suit case, carry it seperately and hand it to whomever will be reponsible for it. (dad, or step mom) The step mom will problably step up if she sees that you want her to. She may just be hesistant b/c she doesn't want to overstep her bounds?
Good luck.
1 person likes this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Also, now might be the time to begin teaching your daughter to take responsiblities for her own pills. ALthough I would still reccomend parental supervision.. I would set a timeframe, ie, every morning she must take her pill by 10:00, if she does, she earns an extra 30 minutes of t.v. time, if not, she doesn't earn any. Then, once she's used to taking it consistently, take away the rewards slowly. (I would use that same reward for something else then.. cleaning up her room, doing her homework by a certain time, etc.)
1 person likes this
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I have to agree with you, because she just isn't responsible enough. I assumed (there's that uh-oh word) that since I told her father the medicine was in her bag, that he'd take it out. I know if he handed me her bag and told me the same thing, that's what I would do.
I like your idea about talking one on one with her Stepmom. She has a great Stepmom and it's possible something can be worked out.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
17 Jul 07
When my daughter stayed at her friends homes, prior to the age of 12 or 13 years, I would always let the parents know of her medication.
In fact, for the prescription medication, I would ask them to make sure she takes it. they always obliged.
It is unreasonable & irresponsible for her Father not to take this responsibility.
I am a step mother, & take responsibility for any medication they may need, especially in relation to my step daughters asthma. I can imagine the step mother feeling like an outsidr. Thats exactly how I feel a lot, although it is not my husbands fault.
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Her father was completely aware of the medications and the scheduling. I'm sorry that you're feeling like an outsider. My daughter's stepmom is a great woman and I feel blessed that she cares so much for my daughter and I'm happy to have her in all of our lives. My ex husband's 2nd wife was a complete and total lunatic who abused my daughter...I am glad I have never run into her because I honestly don't know if I could control myself.
@mikesgal4ever1999 (732)
• United States
17 Jul 07
My son (who is 15) take Strattera for ADHD and even he won't be responsible enough to take his own meds without a reminder from me (did you take your pill today?) Strattera takes a week to build up in the system and when he even misses ONE day I can tell believe me. I reinterated time and time again with my son's father how important it was for him to take the meds I send with him. He has now gotten in the habit of asking him as well and making sure he takes it. I was allowed to take my own meds when I was growing up, however, I had to write down on a notepad when I took it so my mother could keep track of it and make sure but still feel like she was giving me a partial responsibility. For children with ADHD though to remember things is such a chore sometimes. You are NOT overreacting at all. I would have been upset as well. She shouldn't have been put in charge of her own meds at her age.
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Thank you. Good luck to you. Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with ADHD is darn near impossible. LOL :)
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
17 Jul 07
No, I don't believe they should be responsible for their prescription meds at that age. What if she forgot that she took it and dad asked and she takes it again? I think that I would have had to set the details of the meds before she went. Did he know that he needed to be responsible for this? I can't believe that some people just don't stop and think of all the dangers when you let children administer their own meds. Does your daughter seem to be ok with doing it this way at dads?
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
You echoed my main concern...that she'd forget she'd taken her pill and take another one. I did go over her medication and her scheduling with him prior to the vacation. He knows that she isn't responsible for her own medication here at home. She isn't upset about taking the medication on her own, after all, by what she's told me, she hasn't even been taking it most days. Thank you for supporting how I feel about this!
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I know she hasn't been taking it regularly. My main concern is that she would take it in the morning, forget she'd taken it and then take another one.
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
16 Jul 07
It does depend on the child and how long they have been on the medication. Actually, your daughter may not really NEED the reminder from you, a lot of ADHD kids don't; but, they like the extra attention form Mom so they won't let YOU know. That is the way my son is and was while he was in school and on meds.
Also, did it ever occur to you that her father may be undiagnosed ADHD. It can be hereditary and from what you have written, he may also have it. If he is undiagnosed and unmedicated; maybe, THAT is why he has problems being a "responsible parent".
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Our routine here at home is I give her breakfast with a multi vitamin and her Strattera pill. I don't think her father has ADHD. I think he just didn't want to mess with it because his attitude is that he is against the medication in the first place.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Absolutly not- I would have given the medicine to the dad or stepmom- and talked to them prior to the trip- No way an 11 year old should be monitoring her own medicine- Do you let her monitor it at home? or are you in charge? same thing here- Do you think maybe the dad thought that she is allowed to at home? I cannot believe that even after you said something he didn't take the medicine-
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
17 Jul 07
I did talk to her dad prior to the trip. She does not administer her own medicine here at home and her father knows this. Yeah I can't believe he didn't take away the medicine either...
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I suppose some 11 year olds may be able to be responsible for their medicine for a couple of days, I don't think I'd put 2 weeks worth of responsibility on them. Isn't Strattera an ADD medicine? If it is, I'd think it's only logical to realize a child with Attention Deficit Disorder maybe doesn't have the attention span to remember to take her medications.
Next time I think I'd give the medications to her father, with written directions for each pill.
@rowantree (1186)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Yes, Strattera is an ADHD medication. I agree with you about the 2 week thing, especially while on vacation. While she may be able to handle remembering to take her pill here at home, vacation is another world.
1 person likes this
@Lovett (464)
• India
17 Jul 07
Well, you should have thought about this before you sent your daughter for holiday with your Husband. N if he does not care about her , her health n her medication , I guess you should not have sent her at ll with him. You r a mother, n r right in 'over-reacting'...But next time make sure that if your daughter is not able to take medication herself then there is someone to take care of her!!
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
17 Jul 07
Nope you're not wrong about this...If any child has to take serious heavy-duty kind of medications, the child,in your case, your daughter needs adult supervision to remind her just when to take the meds---after all, your daughter is her father's daughter too --doesn't he give a s***?
