Bad Marriage? How Would it Function in a Good Relationship?

Hi add_m! I have a good marriage fortunately. We have our own differences but we learned how to really talk. We learn to be patient with each other and support each other in every endeavor we decide to take. We respect each other's individuality. If sometimes, he decides on something which I totally don't agree upon and still he pushed with his decision which is contrary to my views, I will still be behind him and he the same way with me. I guess, although we are one we know that we have our own lives to live, that's why we give each other space. I could go on and on with what we have but one thing I have learned is that respect is one of the most important thing in a marriage or any relationship for it to work out. If the respect is not there anymore, and the marriage really is beyond saving I don't think it is good to stay together. Marriage is also a relationship, bad marriages mean having a bad relationship with each other. If a bad marriage has to function in another good relationship, I guess the persons involved should try to learn from the past mistakes and focus on what is good in themselves and in the other person. Sometimes, we just forgot how to forgive...coz it is easier to see the goodness in anyone and in any person if you just totally forgive and look forward to the beautiful things that could still happen. And from a bad marriage, you'll have another relationship be sure that you are complete and whole inside. You have to know that you should not depend on anyone or anything to make you happy, it has to come within you. Well, this is just my point of view...I hope you'll have a beautiful life! And I'm sorry if I took so much of your time. Have a nice day!

Through my work I have attended and managed many relationship workshops and the bottom line here is that if we are going to try and change our partner, then the relationship will nearly always suffer, because what enhances a relationship is support for a common goal and/or intention. Meaning that if you support your partner on achieving personal growth and development*as he/she sees it*, you have a powerful relationship. There are [almost] bound be clashes as most partners have their own ideas about where they want to go in life, but these will need to be sorted out through the sharing of feelings - each partner needs to accept the other's point of view, but doesn't necessarily need to "obey" and change unless they really want to. This is a huge and complex issue and a lifetime's work. To me, a relationship is a form spiritual development where the spirit of the relationship grows stronger and through that spirit, each partner grows stronger with it. A relationship is a state of being - not something we do (a state of "doing"). It is the acceptance and nurturing of another person's being and growing ourselves in the process through integrity and communication.

I am not sure I understand your discussion topic? I think you are asking how a good relationship turns to a bad marriage, if that is the case, a good relationship turns to a bad marriage by getting comfortable. Once you get comfortable all the cute little things that were there befor you got married turn into ugly and annoying habits. all the flaws start coming out and they are not usually noticable until you get married because the other one is trying so hard to be perfect for their partner that they don't understand why all the habits are ugly and annoying now. So you see be yourself from the beginning and there will be no bad marriage based on these things. On the same hand I was in an abusive relationship and he neer touched me until after we were married. That is why we got divorced. Because if he had been himself from the beginning I would never have married him. I think that these people who know they are bad people perposely keep things from the ones they "love" so they will fall into their trap.... hince the reason we have so many scam artists out there.

There is no perfect relationship as there is no perfect marriage, no matter how much you love each other there will always be differences between couples... difference in beliefs, different in cultures, etc. You have to work out between differences, and sad to say not all couples succeed, like us. Me and my husband is now separated, I believed he had loved me but I guess Im not the woman of his dream... because Im not the type of woman who wears office uniforms and work in the corporate world, but that whats he like so I guess that is his excuse in falling inlove with another woman. I am the type of woman who prioritize house and family rather that work, I am contented having a spare money in online extras like this. I dont dream of wearing make up everyday and going into the office, I would rather fetch my kids from school, prtepare foods for the family. Im not against hiring nanny for kids but I prefer to personally attend on the needs of my kids. I guess thats what my husband dont understand. Nobody wants to give in, so he fell out of love and there is nothing I can do about that. I cant give what he wants. Now, i guess he's happy. with his woman, sometimes I wonder if I go to work like he wants just to save the marriage, what would be the next thing that he would be asking. I expect him to take me for what i am and not the way he wanted me to be.