My Mother is Addicted to the Computer
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
July 20, 2007 7:59am CST
I have begun to worry about my Mother. I introduced her to a site where she can write and enjoy reading what others write as well. She was bored with her life and I thought it would be good for her to reach out and share her knowledge and experiences with others. Little did I know that it would take up so much of her time.
My Sister went to visit her one day and when she arrived she found my Mother at the computer. My Mother remained at the computer the entire time my Sister was there. She was sharing what people had written as a response to an article she had written and was telling her about the people on the site. Needless to say, the visit was one-sided. After trying to get my Mother to get off the computer, my Sister turned on the television and watched a baseball game.
My Mother has said that she really loves being on this site. She has commented to me that she is on the computer way to much and neglects other things. I have tried to give her advise on how to limit her time, but she doesn't use the advise.
Should I worry about this or let it go. I would like to see her get out and socialize more. She lives in an apartment complex that houses people of various ages. Before she started going on the internet she would attend various social activities in the building. Now she seems to have excuses not to attend.
6 people like this
23 responses
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I hope so Terry. I just don't want to see her spending all of her time inside the house.
1 person likes this
@mytwo_daughters (2663)
• United States
20 Jul 07
How old is your mom? I have to admit I am a bit of a computer addict, but my life forces me to get away from the computer. I did apply to a few nursing jobs early in the am in hopes that I can do something at home! Talk with your mom again and see what's going on. Any addiction is hard to break. I am going to limit my time here, and then go back to housework. I went to bed early and was up very early. My house is a mess so today I need to dedicate my time today to my house. If this site didn't pay, I would limit my time a little more. I do go on other sites that don't pay, but I do promote my businesses and that is why I am online so much. Take care.
http://carole.go.cc
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 07
My Mother is 67. She will 68 in August. She doesn't come onto MyLot so I feel safe writing this here.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
20 Jul 07
If she is like me, your mom will eventually grow tired of the site, and will begin to limit her time. I still have things that demand my attention, so I cannot completely get zoned. Besides the concern for her social well being, I would worry about weight gain (or loss, if she does not eat), sore joints and deep vein thrombosis. Maybe you and your sister should join the site, it might not be so addictive if you were there.
You might plan activities outside of the house that would involve her more. If she is still her own guardian, her own responsibility you cannot make her quit, but if she is cognitively able, and it sounds like she is, then present these health risks to her.
@empressofdrac (503)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
im an internet addict and it doesn't worry me a bit much...i guess as for now you can still tolerate her...i mean time will come she will be fed up...like me...lol
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I dont think you should worry. She just wanted to share her life with her daughter. She needs companionship even when people are not there. Dont we all talk about what is going on in our lives when we have visitors? that is just what she was doing. She will get burned out and taper herself down. I think she has just found a way to have companionship anytime she wants or needs it. I do think she will become bored after a while.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I hope you are right my friend. She really is becoming pretty wrapped up in the site she is on. There was a time when she went off the site for about a week. But, she went back to it.
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1949)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I would continue to prompt her to get out in the real world as being addicted to the internet can be bad if we dont pull ourselves away to enjoy our life outside the internet. It sound like this is something she is enjoying which isnt a bad thing and maby she will get bored with it soon. I would ask her to please not use the computer while I was there and maby invite her out for something to do away from the house.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Jul 07
My Sister and I have discussed this and have come to the conclusion that we need to schedule a time with her to do something more than watch her sit at the pc.
1 person likes this
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
21 Jul 07
i think im a computer addict as well, i dont think other things or people go without though. im not really sure what the best way to go about this, but someone really needs to try and get through to her if she spending all her time, as its not good for the eyes and body etc. maybe she just bored and lonely.
so take her out for somewhere
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
22 Jul 07
The best way to go about it, as to have a hiusband who goes on & on about wasting my time on the internet, & hinting that I should be doing more hjousework instead...
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
20 Jul 07
This is indeed a problem and in an adult that will be hard to make an intervention. Not knowing your family I am not sure how to improve this situation. I do not turn it on when I have company. I still attend functions and see some television. She should be able to also. Not sure how long she has had this but maybe the infatuation will were off. Good luck with this and please keep us posted.
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
20 Jul 07
mAYBE SHE FEELS SHE IS SOCIALIZING BY USING THE COMPUTER IN THIS MANNER. iF IT AFFECTS HER LIFE TOO MUCH THEN IT MAY BE CONSIDEREd an addiction. Only the person themselves can stop this behavior pattern. And only if that person WANTS to stop. Just let her know how it has affected you, family, friends, and herself.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
22 Jul 07
I wondered if I was getting thgis, I always see visitirs & never go on the computer if people are here. I always do my jobs too, although not as much cleaning as my hobby would like. I can see the net work is addictive, no doubt about it.
I don't think, hope, I have got to thyat level yet. When I am away on holidays I rarely miss the computer.
I would say your mother is addicted, if she is not attending to visitors.
Perhaps a gentle hint.. that it is not worth visiting her.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
23 Jul 07
I f I wasn't on the computer so much I would be doing chores, being bored, watching tv. There's next to no social life where I live and what there is bores me to tears. While online I make friends and we share our lives. I would not like anyone to interfere with what I do.
My daughter also lives her life online but she is involved in a fantasy role playing site. She neglects everything to do this. Her eldest boy has gone to live with my other daughter and that leaves her little girl, who is going on 10 to fend for herself pretty much.
I don't think your Mum's involvement is so dire, she seems to be enjoying herself and it's wonderful that she has a new interest like this.
The fact is, computers have changed our lives.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
20 Jul 07
well perhaps that the addiction will wear off? i was like that with mylot when i first joined too lol
does your mom have hobbies? perhaps you can get her involved with her hobbies, take a class together
but for now, i think i would leave it for a bit but keep an eye on it.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I hate to say this Elusive, but your mother's situation parallels mine in a way. My daughter introduced me to the computer a couple of years ago because she thought it would be something for me to do since I don't go out much. Well, I grew to like it so much that I began spending a lot of time on it. Then my kids started to complain that I spent too much time on the computer. I don't know about your mother, but in my situation my kids hardly ever come for a visit(except my youngest). They thought it was a good idea at first because, I suspect they had some guilt about not visiting more often. Once they saw it was something I really enjoyed, they decided it was taking up too much of my time. I don't work, so what else would I be doing? If this is something your mother enjoys, don't worry. She will recognize if it is getting out of control.
1 person likes this
@nagatron123456 (888)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
She never had it before and she is bored that is why she spend much time on the computer where she can met other people around the world. Try to find something new that can divide her interest so she won't focus on computer whole day.
@zaichn (319)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Its not really bad. Its actually a good idea for me.. Since my mother is the only one in the house when me and my little brother are in school.. She has nothing to do but clean, wash clothes and play with the dogs. I just hope she'll be actively participating in online activities like blog making or here in mylot or something. I think there's nothing wrong since your mother is doing something productive with her time and especially at her age. You rarely see mothers or women that age who is addicted to the computer. It seems funny but it actually is good. .I just hope your mom wont stay up too long using the computer since its not good for her age.
@sandwedge (1339)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 07
secretly install on of those 'children control software' in the computer. set it up to where it will disconnect from the internet at specific time of day. tell her that the ISP is having line problem for a while .
if that does not work, introduce virus into the computer and tell her the site is the culprit!
@chandra4chandra (135)
• India
21 Jul 07
yes your thought is good but she must not addicted to that .already we know that how much the younger generation of us have been addicted to the chatting .you say her to do such type of works in the free time but not for every time.but you are saying that she will feel very happy in this type of wprk. so dont try to stop her to this directly ,try to do this slowly.thank you
@bench_mmcc (46)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Is your mother a member of mylot? Let her join in, give me her addresss, and let us respond to her discussion and advice her about being acomputer addict, hope we can help her by her realizing after reading our responces to her.
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
You shouldn't worry unless she's too addicted that keeps her from taking care of herself. I mean, she forgets to eat on time and take care of her personal hygiene. I mentioned this, because i had an ex-boyfriend once who got too addicted to a computer game that it almost ruined his life. I'm not joking about this. As soon as he woke up, he went straight to the computer and played his favorite game. Because he was glued so much to the game, he usually forgot to eat. And so addicted that he didnt also bathe. But worse of all, he dropped out of his college subjects. He chose to spend more time on his game rather than go to college. Just keep on observing your mom. If her addiction to the site gets too serious, then you really need to intercede. Addictions are very hard to break. Give her sometime though. She's still excited about this new phase in her life. There will come a time that she will eventually get tired of it. And you'll just be surprised, she's out of the house again and back to her social activities.
