Cheating
@HereLiesSlobe (71)
Canada
July 20, 2007 1:41pm CST
So recently I ended my relationship because I found out that my girlfriend had been cheating on me. She claimed it was a one-time thing, but I asked the person she cheated with and it turned out there was a 14 day period when she was dating both of us at the same time.
This confused me, because now she is going out with the person she cheated on me with...however, if her origional intent was to date this person instead of me, why didn't she just break up with me instead of waiting 14 days to do so?
Also, during the time she was cheating on me, she lectured me about not trusting her, and also told me she would never cheat on me.
I don't understand what people can get out of cheating on other people in a situation like this.
Does anyone have any ideas one why someone would do this? Our relationship wasn't going through any problems, so I don't see why she would feel the need to have an "affair" with someone else.
Can anyone enlighten me?
3 people like this
7 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
20 Jul 07
Ah, I can't stand this sort of thing! I agree with you that it doesn't make any sense that she didn't just break up with you if her intention was to date the other person instead! Perhaps she was giving this other person a "trial run" to see which of you she liked better?
I have noticed that an insistance that one would never cheat and lectures about not trusting a person are just about the surest sign that something is wrong. I can't count the number of times I've had a partner say to me "You don't trust me enough" pretty much right before I found out they were cheating. That defensiveness thing I guess.
Sorry to hear that you had to go through this!
1 person likes this
@anjoks (2080)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
You did something that is really worth doing you know. . Ohh, dont regret getting rid of her. You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself for what happened, instead go on with your life and live to the fullest. In no time for sure you'll fine a girl of your dream who will love you wholeheartedly. Take care now. (",)
@earthsong (589)
• United States
21 Jul 07
My ex was a cheater, and despite being caught he swears to this day that he never cheated. Sadly, its just the way some people are.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
22 Jul 07
I can hear the hurt and confusion within your questioning...and with good reason. There seems to be a lack of accountabiliy in many areas of society today...and it is troublesome.
No one can tell you why she did what she did...except the person in question. Anything the rest of us say...would still only be an educated guess. I think the larger concern right now is for you. I have had people betray my trust...and it hurts. Maybe you just need to be with that for awhile and give yourself some time to heal.
One thing I would like to commend you on is that you have enough self-respect and dignity to call it quits with her. Obviously she is not worthy of your trust. When she gave you her word she would never cheat on you...she lied. If she lectured you about not trusting her to me it is the old..."thou doth protest too much" way of avoiding her true feelings and casting blame on you instead.
When I read these kinds of scenarios I heave a sigh of relief that you broke it off when you did. You deserve someone with the same values as you. Hopefully after you have some time to work through your feelings you will eventually find a special someone you can be open with...and trust. At least that is what I wish for you.
Hang in there HereLiiesSlobe...there is a beginning, middle and end to everything in life...and with this ending there will eventually be a new beginning.
Wishing you all you wish for yourself!
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
21 Jul 07
It sounds as if she was torn between the two of you...maybe not sure of which one she wanted?? I am not in any way condoning her behavior. I don't understand why people cheat either. They do tho. Peoples actions speak more loudly than any words. Her behavior says volumes about who she is. I know it hurts but you really are better off without her.
@wendy805 (261)
• China
21 Jul 07
hi! i am sorry for your story.i can not believe your gf did such things to you. leave her, find your true love. i usually think that it is always man who do cheating things.today i changed my mind. if girls are bad, men got hurt too. i hope you will soon come through this. good luck to you!
