Unhappy couples........sacrifice for kids....???

My personal opinion is that couples should not stay together if they are not happy if they have kids together. It's not good for the kids to see arguing and fighting. I know this from personal experience with my grandkids. My daughter stayed in a bad relationship for 20 years with 2 kids. My grandson now has a lot of problems and takes after his abusive father. She should have left the relationship a long time ago.

Kids know when their parents are unhappy in their marriage, even if the parents make an effort to keep it from them. There are a number of negative things this can do to a child's development, but most notably it gives them a negative view about what marriage is supposed to be like. Because of this, staying in an unhappy marriage "for the sake of the kids" is simply not the best option. There are a lot of things to be considered when it comes to divorce and children, and all efforts should be made to make the divorce as easy on the kids as possible. However, sometimes divorce is simply the best option, and research is starting to actually hold out that it's more harmful for kids to live in unhappy households than to deal with divorce.

Definitely not. Being in an environment where there's tension in the air is bad for children. Children need positivity and in a house where the parents are just staying together for the kids, there's none of that. I believe that children can pick up bad vibes like that, and they definitely know something's going on and that has a negative effect. I think that children can be self confident if the parents are divorced. The important thing is that the parents interact happily and calmly with eachother.

Great idea having kids is a life time commitmemt and peopel should stay together for the kids they should try also harder ot work out what is nto working in the marriage so that they will want to stay togehter.

I do think some couples jump to quickly for divorce as an answer. When you have kids, especially think it is important to really put that extra effort into working things out within the marriage. The Ideal setting to raise a child in is of course with both parents who truly love each other together in the same household. Unfortunatly that is not always the case. If the parents are miserable with each other and always arguing and fighting, that is not good for the child. In my case, my husband was abusive. If I had stayed in that situation my girls would have grown up thinking that is the way a wife is to be treated. They would have been miserable. It is unfair of you to say that kids from broken homes are lacking self confidence and have no life!! My girls do have a life and one that was much better than living in the situation we were in!! Of course they did not have the ideal life that you portrayed but i did the best i could and it was far better for them than if I had stayed with him. I think your judgements are too harsh and unrealistic.

I think that if parents have tried to work out their relationship and have found that they're just unable to, then its better for them to divorce. I don't think it would affect the child's self-esteem unless the parents drag them into the fighting between eachother, and make them choose between the two parents. In the long run it would probably be better for the children to live in two peaceful homes than in one that's constantly under the stress of a failing marriage.

Personally I don't feel that parents should stay together 'for the sake of the kids.' In my view, this could end up causing the child a great deal of guilt. Even if the parents did not tell the child of their decision, children are not stupid and when they hear the bickering and do not see love/compassion, it hurts them. I just feel that if it is over, it's over and the parents need to tell the children that EACH of them loves the child, but that Mommey and Daddy do not love each other enough to stay married. Also, it really bugs me when parents bad-mouth the other parent to teh children. That shouldn't happen either. When the child is old enough, they can see for themselves what is going on and form their own opinion.

If the parents are not happy with each other, the family, as a whole will not be happy. My marriage split up when my son was 7, he has now or never has had a self-esteem problem, if anything, he is just the opposite. He was always happy and confident. My son always had a life, his life and needs came before mine. Today, he is happy and he has never wished his father and I stayed together.

yes,i think the couples have the obligation of building a healthiness family for your child....if the child lived in a hurted family,he will have some problem in the character ..i am a victim of the unhealthiness family,my childhood have no the role of the farther,so now i have no the healthiness temper and charactor

You know, every child wants to have a happy family with parents, but if you are really unhappy couples, you keep your relationship just for kids, which won't do any benefits to your children. Maybe your kids are too young to understand your seperation, just keep caring them no matter who they live with, i think they will understand someday. Unhappy family will do more harms to kids than parents-divorced family.

I believe if unhappy couples are just staying together for the sake of the kids, might as well separate because how can you raise your kids in love when love between the foundation of the house is not existing?