What Do I Owe This Man?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
July 23, 2007 9:39am CST
Today my soon to be EX-housemate had me in stitches, I couldn't stop laughing, and it's left me wondering just how much I owe this man!
Ok, here goes, prepare to laugh away at his or my expense for getting myself in this predicament in the first place!
Back in 2003 I had a breakdown at work, because of depression and being in a trapped relationship, I then went to college to study for three years ok and in that time I managed to pay as many bills as possible!
The course finished in 2006 and this last year he has been paying most of the bills, apart from half the rent and half the rates/poll tax!
Naturally in arguments he will bring this fact up and please before you say YOU'RE BEING KEPT!
I want to clarify that I HATE PONCING off people and I HATE being beholden to anyone, so it was either him paying extra or we going our separate ways!
So it's in his interest to pay most of the bills!
Right, sorry if this is long winded, bear with me, but I have to be honest and fill you in with all the details otherwise it doesn't make sense and you can't see the funny side!
Bear in mind my problems at work lasted three or four months and he supported me through them by going to meetings with management, occupational health and with my doctor to get a settlement both to leave and for benefits
Now he's been going through a troublesome time at work and I have been supportive to him but we are not talking months here we are talking YEARS! For two years now he's been whinging about work, he gets overpaid and now they are having an investigation about his outbursts towards the staff and clients! He blames his AS (Aspergers) that his voice goes up!
So anyhow he wants to tell work where to stick it and he wants me to get a full time job so that I can keep him!
When I said I am no one's SUGAR DADDY! (bearing in mind he is 42 and I'm 36)
He replies Well I've supported you for three years!
WHAT A CHEEK, WHAT A BAREFACED CHEEK
So tell me how much do I owe this man?
Did you laugh by the way?
Cos I thought it was hugely funny
7 people like this
18 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
Personally I would say the sooner you are out of there the better
Tell him where to stick as far as I am concerned you owe him nothing
You have paid your way the majority of the way so what is his Problem and anyway why does he want to stop working? Must be a guilty Consciouses that he wants to quit because if he was in the right he would fight I did
Ok I lost in a sense but they had to pay out and if I would not have collapsed they would have found them selves in court
You owe him nothing Sweetie xxx
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
He wants compo for all the stress they have put him through! He thinks he'll get a big pay out again that is a laughable matter! Then he turns round and says he'll give me half of it! I turned round and said, what half of NOTHING? He's living in cloud cuckoo land. I don't fall for it any longer. Even if he gave me 100,000 I still wouldn't stay!
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
23 Jul 07
yeap in plain English you can tell him where he can stick it lol hahaha
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Yes, you made me chuckle there. Irony is wonderful isn't it.
In my opinion, you owe this man nothing at all. when two people set up household together, it is never 50=50. Sometimes one carries more of the weight than the other.If you stick it out long enough the situation will most always turn around. Things happen and friends should have each others backs but that friend should not deliberatly jump on your back! In other words, You owe him absolutely nothing...zilch!
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Wow—relationships and owing each other- No I’d say you do not owe him anything- and you are leaving anyways remember- Yes I laughed- but at the way you put it- You are funny when you try to be- I’d like to see the funniness in more of your posts- It makes me smile! So he is having a tough time- that is too bad- He is a grown man- sometimes work is tough- If I quit my job each time it got tough- heck I’d be broke- He willingly paid more than his share of the bills- unless there was some kind of agreement to pay it back- you owe him nothing- he has already taken so much from you- I can’t wait til October comes and you get out- then he will need a Job!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
26 Jul 07
I feel that I'm one of the cast in War and Peace! Every day is a drama! You wait for the next instalment. You could make a soap opera just out of him alone! He gets real good money for doing not much at all and yet he still has the cheek to moan. The moans fall on deaf ears, because I have this faint ringing in my ears now, 74 days to go, 74 days to go, 74 days to go, amazing that it blots out his cr*p!
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Wow. Umm, i guess in a somewhat twisted way that is semi-humerous...
The humerous part is that he thinks you owe him something. You clearly owe him nothing at all. Sure, he supported you durring your time of need, but now you have supported him durring HIS time of need. It was in his best interest to keep you around and pay extra bills. It is NOT in your best interest to keep him around. He has alterrior motives. You do not. You were having troubles at work due to severe depression. He is just an a$$ and is trying to blame his autism for it.
You were right to tell him you are nobody's Sugar Daddy.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
24 Jul 07
He's good at blaming others and when it comes to taking responsibility he blames his disabilities even on laziness he blames them! He wants to be kept moneywise and housewise, animals as well, although sometimes I think he's an extra animal in the house LOL!
@dragonstar13 (1465)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Yes, Wolfie, he will try anything and everything to keep you there, don't fall for his tricks. Remember you do have friends you can call on here any time you need support.
Hugs.
1 person likes this
@weemam (13372)
•
23 Jul 07
What do you owe him , nothing , nada. if you are in a relationship nothing should be costed pal , you share . I would say you owe someone and that is yourself , you need to get out of that relationship and ASAP ,I am glad you liked my poem and now its yours pal , take care and keep being strong , you are much hppier pal and it is showing in your posts xx
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
LOL, he works on a quid pro quo basis, whatever he gives he expects to get back, it's always 'what's in it for him' maybe he doesn't call in favours straight away but boy does he have a fantastic memory and will bring up dates as to when he bought things for me and such LOL!
2 people like this
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
23 Jul 07
This one's easy sweets...NOTHING!! You owe squat, diddly, nil, zero, nada, goose egg.
1 person likes this
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
24 Jul 07
Yeah, it is funny indeed. I think your situation is pretty bad, but you handled it in a funny way so that you would not be more pressured. It's like things are now going the other way around. Before you were supported by him, and now he's asking you to support him. The way you say that you are not his Sugar Daddy makes me laugh! Well, did you think he was your Sugar Daddy when he supported you before? Lol. Just asking because this really is beginning to sound funny. I think you better discuss this situation back with him. I believe both of you still love each other.
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
23 Jul 07
HAHHA THIS has made me laugh lol..this is jokes Brov!!
I tell you why not stick this geezer on Eastenders lol? I think we should shove him on there and he can play with the big rowdy lot like Phil Mitchel lol hahha I haven't laughed in ages, you had me in stitches there..thank you Wolfie!! Sorry but I am in fits..
I think this man needs to get a life or find an old hag that will keep him as her pet dog lol hhaahhhhaa
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
Woohoooo it was meant to make you laugh and after the rough time you've been through sis, you deserve to let off steam with a good laugh! I was fed up with keep putting depressing discussion after depression subject and this one is classic, I will definitely print it out and keep it to look back on in my old age. I never got to meet his ex wife and he didn't want me to either, bet she could tell me some tales but I've been reliably informed that she suffered the same!
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
24 Jul 07
I stay at home and raise my kids. My hubby jokes that I am a kept woman. If he were to ever tell me it is my turn to keep him for the 8 years that he has payed my bills I wouls pop a cork. If he wants to be payed back he should have mentioned that before shelling out the cash.
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
24 Jul 07
Well this is a problematic situation.
First of all he helped you without any terms.
you do not help a person and tell him that he owes you later on.
But telling you that you should support him, because he helped you in the past, that is a bit ridiculous.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
24 Jul 07
A stressed person is an angry person. He could be feeling stressed and alone and hence finds it the appropriate time to whine for some attention. It could be some unconscious expectation. Perhaps he is feeling sore and insecured now that he "needs not" look after you anymore? There is bound to be a reason for his behaviour. You do not owe him anything but a "favour" just because you have been housemates and he have "looked after and cared" for you. lol.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
23 Jul 07
In a relationship, wolfie, what has been freely given should not be brought up. If he didn't say he was supporting you with the expectation of being repaid when you got on your feet again it was give-and-take. In other words, I don't feel you owe him anything. He wanted-and got-the pleasure of your company. Enough said. If I were you I would advise him to hold onto his job until he can find another. And, yes, that was funny.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
Glad I made you laugh, it's not a relationship, thankfully although he would love someone to look after him and be a full time unpaid carer for him 24/7 maybe he should apply for one when I'm gone to take care of him and be his PA and slave!
1 person likes this
@golfproo (1839)
• Canada
24 Jul 07
Hi,
I do not think you owe this person anything. The simple fact that he would "rub your face" into things whenever he had the opportunity just goes to prove that you do not owe him anything. At this point if I were you I would move on and find the life that you deserve. :)
cheers,
@tiwsevol (84)
• Philippines
24 Jul 07
I also agree that you don't owe anything for that man. He just gave you a little help. And he didn't clear that you'll need to pay back in return after some times. Maybe he just have that real bad intention to you. Glad you'll be moving out. I think you're a very brave on that manner.
