Don't You Hate It When Family Makes You Feel Guilty,
By mfpsassy
@mfpsassy (2827)
United States
July 24, 2007 9:23pm CST
even if they aren't trying to? Normally right about now I would be in a car driving to Nebraska it only takes about 24 hours to get there driving straight through. For the last 2 years we have done this so my husband could see his dad. His dad has emphazima and refuses to travel. And until 2 years ago they had not seen each other since 1998.
Well this year my hubby decided to change jobs. So instead of putting some of our tax return away for vacation we put it away as back up for bills just in case things didn't work out at his job the way he was hoping. So anyway the other day I opened my mailbox and there was a package from his dad's and inside were 2 Harley Davision shirts. Why does this make us feel guilty? Because each time we have gone there we have bought something from the Harley shop there.
That was nice of them to do but now we both feel guilty for not going back to see them this year.
6 people like this
13 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 07
Sweet do not let it make you feel guilty as long as you are in contact
But I do not understand why his Dad will not travel
I have Emphasimia COPD Chronic Bronchitias and Asthma and believe me I still drive everywhere my Daughter and I are planning a trip to Germany next year
But I am sure that his Dad will understand and that you will be able to go and see him soon
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
26 Jul 07
I know sometimes it can be embarrassing as People stare at you when you can't breathe properly or if you have a coughing Attack but I ignore them now
2 years ago I was having an attack in town and this old Guy said to me you are very unfit for a young a Woman, well I got mad very mad as I was trying to still take in the fact of what was up with me and how my Life had changed and I shouted at him "Would you not be when your Lung is crumbling away on you" he looked embarrassed as I burst into tears I walked of and I would not go out for Weeks after that
But I am not willing to lock myself in to avoid judging and nasty People
3 people like this
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
Yes I do hate when my family makes me feel guilty because I should not be guilty at all. Why do have I, they are my family and being in a family we love each other and whatever we do as family we must show love and care and not feeling guilty. And as long I am doing right then I should not feel guilty at all.
2 people like this
@embattledsparkle (1072)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Yeah I do... or when they say that they weren't trying to make you feel guility but it seems like they really were. My Mom moved in with my kids and I 4 years ago because she's not in the best of health. The other night I was making myself a small salad because I was really tired after running errands and doing stuff around the house and didn't feel up to making anything else. So anyway, she walks through the kitchen and says "I won't even bother asking you to make me one." and then goes to her room and shuts the door to lay down. She could have just asked me to make her one and I would have so I went ahead and made her one and took it to her room, she said that she wasn't trying to make me feel guility but who knows...
2 people like this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
25 Jul 07
That's the kind of stuff my mom does. And her health is fine. It drives me absolutely crazy. She is slowly learning that that doesn't work on me anymore.
As for our gifts I don't think they were suppose to make us feel guilty but........
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Don't feel guilty. I bet they did it just to be nice. My oldest sister does it and I take offense sometimes. Since our mother passed she has appointed herself to keep the family together and if I can't show up for a family function she brings it up the next time I see her. After a couple of times I didn't let it get to me. I know you wanted to see him and maybe you will soon anyway so don't let it bother you.
2 people like this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Your right I am sure that's it. We don't have to worry to much about anyone saying to much. His mom, brother, nieces and nephews are the only family he has up here. The rest of his family is in Nebraska. So they are just happy to see us when we get there.
1 person likes this
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Parents sure know how to make us feel guilty, and I don't like it. You end up doing things you didn't really want to do or plan to do. Sometimes it costs quite a bit, like driving 24 hours to Nebraska. Other times it is taking things home that they want to give us, which we throw in the garbage as soon as we get home. Elderly parent's tastes are not the same as ours, but they want to send things along home with us. At other times they are really good things, which then makes us feel guilty about the things we've thrown away. I guess there is not winning that one. How about let's all agree not to make members of our family feel guilty?
@lavenderbloom (1057)
• United Arab Emirates
25 Jul 07
It's so touching. Your husband's father is really missing you all. I think you should not feel guilty but try to make a visit so that they are happy. I think we can show our love only when a person is there. So, please dont wait more. Just go and visit.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
25 Jul 07
Oh sometimes things like that can make us feel bad as in your case. However, it could be their way of just showing they understand but they were just thinking of you. I try not to think about it when we have to do what we have to do. If others can't understand, I let that be their problem and not mine. I reckon I am a bit self absorbed, but we jut can't do what others would like us to do all the time. We have priorities and if they can't get that, oh well.
@mummymo (23706)
•
1 Aug 07
Aww honey I can understand how you feel but maybe they sent this to show you that they appreciate the fact you have made this effort for the last few years! I know you feel bad honey but don't feel guilty and don't beat yourself up - you can't do everything - I am sure his dad really appreciates the effort you have gone to and knows that you would have gone if you could have! xxxx
1 person likes this
@EvanHunter (4026)
• United States
26 Jul 07
My mother always makes me feel guilty I have other siblings but they dont have a very good relationship with my ma so I always feel like I have to do more.
1 person likes this
@gwendovere (1279)
• United States
5 Aug 07
Don't let people make you feel guilty. Just show them some kindness as well.
1 person likes this
@Angela07 (202)
• United States
25 Jul 07
yeah your right.
I hate it my family's pretty big & every time we have family reunions or some kind of get-together we always have fun.
But this one time I came out embarrassed.
I would tell you the story but its too long.
I kind of felt guilty because some family had to come down from Virginia for our reunion and I ruined it for them.
1 person likes this
