He walked out on me & the Kids 2 years ago and now he wants to come back!

...wow! i admire such woman like you having the strength and courage to face all of these things that had happened to your life..we'll for me i'd say honestly that right and wrong decisions were for you to decide..even if later you would be hearing from your relatives maybe that you did the wrong decision, it would be all up to you...to stand for it and make your decision the right one..because i believe that there's no such absolute wrong decision as long as you're going to move on even if in the eyes of the many you chosed the wrong, as long as you are happy and contended in what you opted to do, then that's your RIGHT decision..

If I were you...don't give him another chance...what do you expect from him...he doesn't even care for his own child how much more your two children Prove to him that you can live and survive without him...

honey don't you do it!!! don't you put yourself and those kids through that one more time. you have been getting along without him and it is not worth going through the drama because you are lonely. as a mother of three kids who use to be single, i would never do that to myself or my children. you tell him if you really want to come back well then prove it by taking care of your child first. you are not going to just walk back in here like nothing happend. girl you have to get strong honey

If I wear on your sit. If I'm still available and If until now I have a feelings for him maybe I would try to give him a chance. And since It was only the first time he did it to me, and since because I have a good patience maybe just for the sake of the kids why I will not try it. Because you can really tell if he is really saying the truth or not if you are not giving him another chance maybe now he already learned his lesson. But if you feel also that he is doing it just only because he is lonely for you and the kids you have to decide it on your own for you can only see how sincere he is.

Everybody wants a happy family Liyan97. But after 2 years without him you've made it. After the pains he caused you, you are still there standing and moulding your kids without any support from him. I reckon you can forgive him but think all the pros and cons before you accept him in your life again. Ask this to yourself: How sure are you that he will not do it again? Remember he swear before that you and your kids alone but in just a blink everything he promised... GONE. If you about to rate his good and bad which is more on him? Why after 2 years he just now realized to come back with you and your kids? Making decision in family matter is very crucial. Yes your kids adore him but would you allow them to be hurt again if ever he fall for other girl in the future. I'm not saying that you become pessimistic but in the life he gave you its not bad to think all the negative outcome of a certain actions or decisions. Of course you want to have a complete family, who don't want it anyway. But how sure are you that its for a lifetime this time? Right now you're doing great without someone to depend on and your children already recovered from the separation you had two years ago. Why let yourself be in a situation where you'll be in the lose end. And lastly, ask yourself; do I still need him? do I still love him and can I trust him again? That might help you to arrive at a very good decision which might make or break your happiness.

Hello there my friend! What a situation you are in right now..! I already have a response to this yesterday when I got disconnected from my server. Can it mean something perhaps--about getting disconnected? You know with the situation such as ours it is sometimes so hard to see things in black and white. Sometimes we need to "disconnect" ourselves from most of the things that surrounds us. We need to see outside of ourselves--like seeing your situation from another person's angle/view. And this is how your friends' responses here might help a lot. And then, of course, you need to look into your heart. This is the hardest part as mom's like us tend to feel not only with our hearts but with that also of our children. And this is where "Divine intervention" might help to guide you with your feelings. Dear liyan so many things may be said, but it would be you alone who can make the RIGHT choice. And making the right choice should be based on the RIGHT REASON. The decision to be a family again is not entirely your responsibility but also of your ex husband. What are his reasons for going back? Are they the right one? Or was it because he is just experiencing loneliness at the moment? This is something that you can't force..if you are unsure about your feelings and/or his, you don't need to make a decision right away. Hearts may be broken once again, and if this happens it would be harder than before. And also remember that a sincere heart can wait. Let him wait if you're still unsure with your decision...Take your time, you have a whole future to consider. I'll be praying for you my friend as this is indeed a tough one...Good luck and i hope that most things(if not everything) will turn out well.

Do you still love him and still hoping that he would come into your life? If you still love him, it means his comeback is a blessing to you and you should consider yourself accepting him back into your life. Maybe he is really changing for good this time, maybe. You can test him, however. Test him by doing something that might reveal how he actually regretted what he did. Only you know what to test to him because you are the closest person who understands him. On the other hand, if you no longer have any love left in your heart, never accept this person in your life again. What's the point of receiving him back if you don't love him? You shouldn't sacrifice your heart just for the sake of the kids. You can give excuses about yeah, the kids love him and all, but you have to give priority to your heart first of all. Ask yourself many times. Do you still love him? Good luck my friend. Make a wise decision. This may affect your future.

Oh-- this is certainly something that you need to work out on your own- I'd hate to give advice and have it be the wrong advice- Do you think he has changed?? What makes you think so- Where is this other woman right now? How was he with his daughter? Does she live with her dad? (this man) I think I would see him if you want to- but not get the kids involved- make sure he has changed- I do not think it is fair to put the kids through him walking in and then out again! Kids should always come first- It's a tough decision- I wish you the wisdom and alot of luck!

Well I know it's so easy to just hope that he has really magically change, but usually it doesn't happen that way. It seems that this guy makes a habit of making promises he couldn't keep. And that to me for starters is not a good sign. To think, that he has walked out on you three times while you were pregnant?? Please. It's been numerous times that he has decided to leave you. Give yourself a break and forget this person. You have to value your own being. You deserve someone decent enough and who will genuinely love you. Don't go through it again, if you have learned your lesson. This kind of relationship will just tire you and make a mess of your life. Get up and move on. Life is hard, and sometimes we really need to make an important decision. Good luck, there are more worthwile men out there, but in the meantime you need to sort out your life first.

hmmm i would definitely be confused if i was in your shoes. however, i think you shouldn't rush into things, even if he is the father of your kids. letting him live with you and your kids may not be the best idea, since no one can really be sure if he's changed for good. he may even think so himself, but things and feelings, no matter how strong or how sincere we may think of them, unfortunately, can change. so keep yourself safe. you can always let him see your kids if he wants to right? letting him live with you will make your kids more attached to him, and what would happen if he has a change of heart and decides to go back to his old ways?

if you have an attack dog, set it on him. git' em boy!

Well there is the three strikes your out method. But in my opinioun if he has already walked out two times that would be it for me. He just wants his cake and eat it too and you do not need that in a relationship. It is too hard on the children that are relaying on their father and when he walks out on them they feel as if it were their fault. No I would not take him back in my home but he would be welcome to find a place of his own and pay his own bills and see the children once in a while. hugs

WOW thats crazy! Sorry to hear what you have been through. My suggestion would be to tel him that he has to show you that he isnt going to do the same thing again. Maybe he could find his own place keep a job but live near by and as long as he can hold a job and resedence by himself he can be involved with his daughter as well as your 2 older children but letting him back in the house (and your bed) is setting a pretty bad example i dont know if your older 2 are boys or girls but if girls it says a guy can treat you bad adn its ok and if you have any boys its kinda saying that hey u can treat girls bad and upset them and thats the way its suppost to be. and its not fair to you to just let him back in (not sure if he is looking for a free ticket of a home and full support) and not to mention the trust issues it would raise for you. Not knowing if he would do the same crap again and driving yourself nuts wondering whats going on when your not there could drive a woman NUTS! (trust me) and thats bad for you and for your children too! Let him earn the chance to be with you again. Let him be as involved as he wants to be with the kids but out of the home and if he really shows effort then maybe he is being sincere about wanting to be a family! thants what i would do anyway good luck and let us know what u decide and how it goes GOOD LUCK!

is he stupid? or simply playing 1? these guy doesn't deserve a chance anyway, what was he thinking? that he can just move in and out everytime he wants too... i mean love is not just about love... it's commitment and responsibilities... he says that he had change? ows... come on... for just 1 year, he had change that much? anyways, it's all up to you... you can still be friends, he can still see his kid and give her what she deserves, but accepting him to move in again is a bad idea... tsk tsk tsk!

Well my dear what a tough decision to make and I don't envy you in having to make a choice either. Here are some questions I will be asking myself; (these are in no particular order) a)Do you think he is seriously going to make it work this time round? b)Is sending clothing for your kids good enough in your eyes? c)What happened to the other girl? Is it not working for him now, so he wants to come back home? d) What makes you think he won't up and leave you again for someone else? e) What happened during the two years he left you? was he still involved with the kids? did he keep in contact? did he help out when it was needed or when you asked? f) Why now? why after two years he has decided he wants back in? g) Does he really love me? how do I know that? h) Do I love him? Do i really love him or is it because of my children? or what reasons? i) What would this mean for me if he came back into our lives? the children's lives? Oh and my list goes on. Sorry these are the things I would be wondering or wanting answers to before I commit myself again. Only you know your husband well enough to decide on what is best for you and your children. No one will judge you for what you decide. The one thing that matters the most to you should be your happiness and your childrens. I wish you all the best my dear friend and we are here if you need need us :) HUGS *smiles*

It's easy to say "don't forgive him, he doesn't deserve it". But then again, isn't that the best way for him to appreciate you, when he goes with another woman and is able to compare the two of you? Sometimes I wish that my partner could have a relationship with other men so that she can appreciate me after comparing me with them. So do you still love him? If so then by all means give it a shot. If not, why bother?

I think you have learned to live with him. You are a strong women. Now if he needs a family thats his problem. He did not care for you and left you alone wiht the kids. He did the most horrible thing. Now that he has enjoyed adn experienced the life a little and got bored then he comes to you to have a 'family'. Tell him that that you dont want a man who leaves his wife for another women without even thinking of the kids. Such a cruel person. Ask him if he is sure that he wont ever leave again, wont ever hurt kid's feelings. Listen to what he says. if you feel he is changed then go for it for the sake of children. Just for the sake of children becasue they need both the parents love for their well being.they need love from mother and father. So, give them a chance to be happy but make everything clear with your husband that he cannot hurt children's feeling again. Hope you find happiness with your family and that last for a lifetime. God bless your family.

you yourself said that you have so much to deal right now. i believe you will be better off without him. if he has walked out on you several times, what makes you think he will not do it again. as for the kids you can always have him visit them. it's time for you to be strong for your kids.