Bad Grandparents

Yep sounds like you all need a new home, I could never imagine treating my grandchildren like that. Althought two years is a long time to be living with someone maby they need some time alone. Also if they couldnt be good to my baby and treat him better I would not allow them to see him after I moved.

Hi tattooedcrafter. My parents are the worst grandparents ever. I have a disabled child who just turned 2 and they have probably came to see him all of 3 times, if i call them to help me in any way they always have excuses. With the other grandchildren they allow them to come and play in the yard while they get drunk and high..and they teach them all sorts of bad things they think are cute. They will only have something to do with them at their convienence, but what can I expect? they didn't even raise my brother and I right, my grandparents raised us. It's their loss though. As for your situation, I used to live with my in-laws for a bit and my mother in law was exactly the same way. Eventually I just sat down and told her that from now on if she had a problem with the way I was raising my child then tell it to me, not to other people. After that she kinda held back all of that advice and i never heard anything more from her. Try talking to her if you already haven't, maybe she doesn't quite mean it in the manner in which it was taken...good luck. welcome to mylot=)

I'm sorry to hear - I couldn't imagine living with my husbands mom and her husband. They are psychotic living 13 hours away. My husband and I actually separated a few months ago. That left me having to stay with my mom until I can get back on my feet because I also have a 20 month old daughter, and pregnant with a boy coming in October. I gave up everything I had when I met Nick so I had nothing to go back to. My mom doesn't seem to understand that you can not keep everything picked up when there is a toddler around. If her new puppy, or her other dog chews something up, she doesn't even care. Her dog even chewed up some very important things of mine, that were in MY room. It's very frustrating that she just blows it off.

yes, you are in a really tough spot. It is so hard to live with other people. We all have our own ways. It sounds to me like you guys have been together too long. I don't know your financial situation but is there any way you guys could get a place of your own? That would be ideal. I can kind of see both sides here. I hesitate to say much because I am sure there is so much more to your story. tell us more.

For Asians, living with the in-laws are a natural thing after marriage, though times has changed, many still complain about their mother-in-laws for being nasty and difficult, most of the time, it seems that these mothers are not willing to "give up" their sons to their wives. One important thing to note is that you must always talk to your husband about your thoughts and opinions, cos some tends to listen to the one-sided views of their mums and result in misunderstanding between couples. Regards, Adrienne http://www.e-marketinghub.com http://www.e-marketing-systems.com

Tell your husband he needs to support you. That means he has to assert to his mother that you two are the child's parents. Also, have him stress the importance of baby-proofing things, because your child could get hurt if they don't do it. Then, if they still refuse to do it, baby-proof the most important things yourself. If they don't like it, tell them you did it because it's best for your child. It's best if you move as soon as you can! Living with parents or inlaws is rarely a good idea, because they think they can "raise" all of you and tell you what to do and make decisions for you. You need to stand your ground abd nake decisions for your family. Thank them for their opinions, but tell them you will make your own parenting decisions. If you can afford to move into a hotel/motel, do so. It will be better than living with your inlaws. (I speak from experience! My husband and I lived with my parents for a year, and it was awful!)

No, i haven't had this problem but it could be because i would never move my family in with my parents or in-laws. I guess my thoughts are, if you are married & have a family of your own, then you kinda need your own space & living with family after you've been out of home for a while, it's a big old pain in the butt trying to live with them again - i don't recommend you move in with your Dad either, it would probably be best for everyone if you got a place of your own i think. You wouldn't need anything fancy or even big if it's only the 3 of you - why not hunt down a nice little flat/unit/apartment instead? You haven't mentioned why you aren't living on your own as a family but still, not always the best idea i don't think :) Good luck!

you probably won't like it, but here is my response to your discussion. MOVE. why do you have to live with one of your parents? try living on your own before you criticize the way other people live. when the older generation waqs growing up, and raising children, we didn't "baby proof" things, we taught our children not to touch things that they shouldn't. you know, everywhere you go there isn't people going ahead of you to baby proof things. your child needs to learn what he can and cannot touch, play with, pick up, etc. wouldn't it be grand if we all could go through life with someone else already putting away all the dangers of life. won't happen. as for your living situation, move out on your own. just you, your husband and child and raise your family like that. then you will have an idea what your mother in law went through raising your husband. in today's society, it is very difficult ot get by without both parents working. which leaves someone else to look after your children while you are gone. does that make you a bad parent? no, not in my book. does that mean you can't instill values on your children? absolutely not. my advice to you, grow up, move ou, and be a little more grateful to your in laws for all they have already done for you. i'm sure your dad is really looking forward to you moving in with him. NOT!

It is nothing new. I must say this type of conflict always happen between women-in-law. Men seldom have this kind of conflict and confrontation. Another classic examples, children normally have stronger relationship with the relatives on the mother side than the father side. Why? It is because the mother always bring her problems (and children) back to her own family, whereas the father seldom discuss about his problems.

I wouldn't say my parents are bad, but I wish some things were different. I live with my parents my husban is in the military and gone right now he wont be home for two years so I will be at my parents for awhile. My dad is fine but mom is another story. My little one is to little right now but my brothers kids are 8 and 6 and when they come over mom is bad. If my brother says no they will go right to her and get what they want which I don't agree with. Grandparents shouldn't over ride a parent what do the kids learn from that. My mom thinks she can make the rules for my son because I live there.

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time living with your in-laws. It's good that you're thinking of moving because from what you've said, your mother-in-law is doing things that are too upsetting for you. Your husband and I should do the moving out as soon as possible. Don't give your mom-in-law another reason to vent out her anger. You might never know if you will just snap and confront her eventually. And when confrontations start, it really gets ugly. The blaming game starts. I know this because it's happening to my mom, my brother and his wife. Just make sure though that if you ever plan to move out of the house, and to another one, it's just you, your husband and your child. You said you're planning to move in with your dad, is that ok with him? Talk to him and ask him if that kind of situation is alright with him.

This problem is not new. You ask people and they will say that almost everybody has a problem with in-laws. I have been married for 34 years, believe me, I have been there.Half of my life with my husband was marred because of the domeneering mother-in-law. After 23 years of marrieage my husband eventually set his first priority - his wife. I can't deny though there were devoted parents in their own way, moreover my daughter always enjoed the love of her grans. First of all, no living together, it will be difficult at first, but hopefully you will cope with the problems. lastly, people grow older and at some point they will regret of having created this distance from their children and grandchildren. The loss will be all theirs. This is life and trust my own experience.