I want to go back!!!
By jchampany
@jchampany (1130)
United States
July 25, 2007 6:42pm CST
Okay, I am really struggling with this lately. I am in California, I was born and raised here. I moved to Oklahoma in 2001 and absolutely loved it. After about 4 years there I got into a relationship with a guy and everything went real good for about a year or so. Then we decided to have a baby. It was neither of our first, we both already had kids. Anyway, after I got pregnant he changed completely. Turned into an abusive man who constantly took drugs.
Anyhow, in order to get away from him I actually had to leave the state. I have been back in California for a year now. I hate it!!! I want to go back. I know for a fact that he has moved out of the state. I have no contact with him and got legal custody of my daughter and changed her name. He has no rights with her anymore. So him being there isn't the issue.
My problem is, since I moved here my dad has been helping me make it each month. I don't make enough to pay the rent where I live so he helps. I am so greatful, but I am so unhappy also. I don't even fit in around here anymore.
So I am struggling. I want to move back. I don't like it here but I don't want to hurt my dad's feelings or upset him. I just don't know what to do.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
26 Jul 07
Oh Sweety it does sound as though you have had a very hard time of it in the the last few years! I bet you are very grateful for your dad's help and I can totally understand how you must be feeling! Do you think you would be able to cope financially if you moved back? You are the one who knows best what is best for you and if you truly feel that Oklahoma is best for you then you know what you have to do! I am sure that your Dad will understand - espescially when you tell him how much you love him, how grateful you are and explain how you feel about California! I hope you let me know what you decide and I wish you lots of luck Sweety! It is good to see you! xxx
1 person likes this
@jchampany (1130)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Thanks Mummymo. I have been thinking about this for so long now. I have had talks with my dad telling him how I feel here and that I want to go back. I haven't really told him that I am seriously considering it. The thing is, I know that I can support myself out there way better than I can here. I am not one of those people who feel like they need to live here in CA and have lots of things to be happy. I know that I can be happy just having a more flexible life.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
27 Jul 07
You know what you want to do - you are never going to settle in CA the way you feel sweets - you know you have to have THAT talk with your dad and start planning! I am sure that your dad wants you to be happy more than anything else and will be fine! Good Luck Honey! xxx
1 person likes this
@mindyja25 (180)
• United States
26 Jul 07
That's a hard place to be, I live with my parents right now and I'm not happy there. I have a small child and my husban lives out of state and is getting ready to deploy for 15 months. He is paying rent now where he is so we don't want to pay rent twice so I can't leave right now. When he is deployed I will be able to get my own place but my dad wants me to stay at home. I'm a dady's girl by far but me and my mom clash well she clashes with everyone so that's the main reason for me wanting to leave.
I would have to say make the best choice for you if there is a will there is a way. You only get one life and you need to be happy. As long as you can care for your child and yourself you next goal is to just be a happy. I know it can't be easy but I'm sure you will come up with a plan. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@jchampany (1130)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Thank you for your kind words. I hope your situation works out well for you too. Just stay strong.
