How old is too old to have a baby?
By Bunny2
@Bunny2 (2102)
Australia
July 25, 2007 8:53pm CST
I had my children when I was in my early thirties. Some of our friends have had children when they turned 40. Both couples have had only one child each and they are spoilt rotten! Is that indicative of waiting to have your children? Or is it because they are "only" children with no siblings? The older you are, the more risks you go through to have your baby. I had years of treatment to be able to become pregnant, yet I am totally against women who are 60 plus being put through IVF and have children. I find that irresponsible to the child. Being in your 70s when your child is a young teenager could provide a lot of problems for the child.
Does anyone else agree?
4 people like this
24 responses
@lucyem (120)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Personally, I wouldn't have another baby if I were older than 35. But I don't think those children are spoiled because their parents are older. I think it's just the way their parents are. I know children of young parents who are spoiled rotten too. I definitely agree that older women--I want to say 40 plus--shouldn't have children, because of the problems it will cause for the child. My parents were older wen I was born, because I was adopted, and their bio kids are 16 years older than me! Let me tell you, that's way awkward! There's nothing like your friend saying, "How old is your mom? Mine's 30." And me saying, "Oh really? Mine's 45!" She was 38 when I was born. Really, I wouldn't have a baby over 30 if I could help it, but 35 is definitely my cutoff.
2 people like this
@UnicornDancer (91)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I was 25 when my daughter was born and 42 when my son was born. Both pregancies were about the same. I don't want any more children and wouldn't even consider having a child when I'm 50 let alone 60. I don't think it would be fair to the child because of the high risk of the parent having health problems and the posibility that they may die while the child is still in school without having anyone to take care of them.
1 person likes this
@UnicornDancer (91)
• United States
26 Jul 07
The only difference in the pregancies was that with my son I carried him lower so it was less comfortable when sitting. I had heart burn with both and some morning sickness with both. They did more tests with the second one, but everything was fine and we have a very healthy active little boy now.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
28 Oct 07
I'm guessing it has more to do with them being only children than with the parents' age. They probably waited so long to have a child and spent so many years dreaming of what they would do if they became parents they probably go over board when it does happen.
I also agree that women past natural child bearing age should not be having babies. There is a reason our bodies "shut off" at a certain point and we should just listen to that. I won't give a specific age because it depends on the woman but they definitely shouldn't once they're in their 50's. I know they say there are more risk factors after 35 but plenty of women have healthy babies in their late 30's and early 40's.
I also want to say the age thing isn't as big of a factor for the fathers. My s/o was almost 25 when his first was born and his second came just under two years later. Then he became a father "again" at age 37 1/2, followed by another at 39 1/2 and another a 41. He may spoil them a little more than his first two but only because he's slightly better off financially now than he was then.
1 person likes this
@mrrtomatoe (800)
• Canada
26 Jul 07
Just finished a human growth class where we talked a lot about this and as far as not having ANY risk factors at all... there are always risk factors. Between 25 and 27 is the "IDEAL" age to give birth because you are not too young and not too old (about a 7% risk of birth defects); by 35 the risk doubles, and by 45 it goes up to like 45%. I think around 35 is the upper limit otherwise your chances of a problematic pregnancy are as likely as picking the side of a coin!
1 person likes this
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
The only problem I see when you bear child at such age, I mean 60s or 70's, is that the mother will be old enough to take care of her child. I gave birth at 34 not because I wanted it but because it was the time when I finally got pregnant.
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
5 Nov 07
I don't consider 34 too old - in fact it's a good age. I had problems and couldn't conceive until I was 31 the first time. But I think 50 onwards is too old - natural aging processes make it difficult to look after small children or teenagers as you age. it's hard enough when you're young!
@pinoymouse (28)
• Australia
2 Oct 07
yes i agree thats to old. i think once you get to 40 or 45 then thats the end. but i also think men r to imature b4 they get to 30 to b fathers.
1 person likes this
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
Its not only what you have mentioned, but you know how active kids are..They keep you constantly on your toes...I really dont think that an older person could keep up..It not fair on the children, when their parents can not hop up and play with them..
1 person likes this
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
I don't think the problem is showering the babies/children with love - that can be at any age - but running around after them gets harder as you get older. Though many grandparents do so, they can hand them back at the end of the day. If they're yours - they're there all the time. Thanks for the comment.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I think 40 years old isn't too old to have a baby. I better think that way because my mom had me when she was 40.But you have a point with 60 year olds having babies.
1 person likes this
@healer (1779)
• India
27 Jul 07
It depends on the mentality and physical fitness of the mom. My neighbour who is 52 has a four year old kid and she says that she still want to have another one. And i should say she still can have it if she want to as she is still strong physically and mentally. But for me its always nice to settle up soon at an early age and have a life.
1 person likes this
@chari_dc (492)
• Philippines
26 Jul 07
as far as i know, 40 should be the latest age wherein a woman could conceive a healthy child. both she and the baby could be in danger if beyond this age. that's why some women are in a hurry to wed or at least get pregnant because of the so-called "body clock".
1 person likes this
@Bunny2 (2102)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
I have to agree. It's very difficult if you want a child but aren't in a stable and loving relationship. There are alternatives - like single women can have artificial insemmination or even adopt in some cases - but it's still better when you're in a nice, loving relationship. Thanks for yuor reply.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
27 Oct 07
I know alot of women had their children later in life and if they can handle it, more power to them. I am almost 40 and I wouldn't have the determination to have raise a child now. Not to mention by the time they are 21 I would be 61. A little old to be worrying about a kid and what they are out doing. Nope, I'm gonna age gracefully and just enjoy the time Hubby and I have together. Besides, I can invite my Niece and Nephew over anytime I want to play with them. LOL
!!HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
I think that it is very different for everyone, for me I would not have any more children after I am 35, but I know for many that they have their children after this age and if that is good for them then I have no problem with that, but for me it would be over 35. I think it is irresponsible to have a child over 50 as by the time the child is 20 you will be 70 and that just doesnt seem fair to me! But then again it is up to the individual! What doesnt seem fair to me can be completely reasonable to another person!
1 person likes this
@lanbeiliu (29)
• China
27 Jul 07
i think it is very dangerous for a woman to have a baby in her forties,28 years old is the best time,and the baby will be more heathy
@bilalalikhan1 (270)
• India
26 Jul 07
it depends on ur personal health and ur financial situation......no general rule!
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
I agree entirely, and I believe couples that wait until their forty plus only intend to have the one child and ruin it. They want all the material things before the child, and are also in a position to give that child everything.
@Vixx06 (162)
•
26 Jul 07
I have to agree with you about the older mothers having IVF. I feel that as long as you can have a child naturally you are old enough to be a mother. I was 35 when I had my last baby and I think it is hard work. Anyone alot older (I mean in their late 50s and 60s) would find it hard to cope. I also know that I have a good chance of being around to see my grandchildren. Someone in their sixties dose not.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I was in my late 30s when I found myself pregnant with my youngest child. I think the "spoil" factor in your friends children may be because they are only children and where the parents waited so long...maybe they are doting on them? I have seen only children that aren't spoiled at all. It depends on the parents, i think.
As for having a child in your 60's...that is really pushing things I think. I can't imagine being in my 70s and dealing with raising a teen.
@ayseteyze (214)
• Turkey
26 Jul 07
there are two points of view for this question. one is the view of society and the other is the view of science. to say it straight, just forget about the society! do not listen to people who warns you about the difficulties of having a baby in your older ages. the only thing you should take into account is what medicine says. if your doctor says it will have some risks, that's ok. but as long as you are healthy enough to have a baby, for me its never too late.
1 person likes this
@Bearster (16)
•
26 Jul 07
I think it is a very difficult topic to put an age on... My dad has just turned 50 and I have a six year old sister who is very active but he manages to keep up with her OK for now. Having had my sister and I when he was in his early twenties he feels that he is a better parent this time round and I would tend to agree, he also looks after his health more now.
On the other hand I have a 21 year old cousin that has two children, 4 months and 17 months and I think that she is far too young and has difficulty coping with the two of them.
I would not say that my little sister is any more spolied materialisticly but she certainly gets more in the way of attention and time spent with her.
Although my dad copes well with my sister I know he would have preferred to hve had her when he was more mid thirties to late thirties, and ceratinly would not want any more at his current age and would not be able to cope with a new born. He is concerned about how he will manage when he is sixty and she is a roaring teenager.
I think people that decide they want children in ther fifties to sixties should consider fostering as a way to give a happy home to a child. They are more likey to make the most of their parenting skills and could be matched with older childeren that will not be such a physical drain and I am sure would give them as much pleasure.
1 person likes this