When you are 20 or something, you at times (if not always) feel like this...

Being 20 something - Something I made in Paint. :)
@sr0415 (1140)
Philippines
July 27, 2007 10:51pm CST
I was chatting with my friend who is abroad and currently works there. She's just a year older than me. We were talking about our plans for our lives - where we want to be years from now. Both of us were in a state of confusion. We want to stand on our own two feet. We want to get away. We want to be in a new place. We want to find out who we really are. We want to find the place where we really belong... She sent me this message. It states in words what we're going through. I hope that this could help those who are also in the same situation. (",) ----------------------------------- Being 20 Something They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion. ------------------------------- Have a great weekend everyone! :)
1 person likes this
4 responses
@tombiz (2036)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
I fully understand the confusion and the problems associated with these people belonging to the 20's age bracket. I had been there too. In my case, it was more than confusion, it was a fight to survive emotionally and mentally. At that time, I committed grave mistakes of my life, which up to now I am still suffering of, and became the basis for a great burden which even affect my financial position. I am now in my mid 30 and you know, I still continue making mistakes. I have this attraction for wrong people or wrong friends who just took advantage of my good heart of helping others. Because I experienced hardship myself, I could not resist a friend asking for my help but when it is my time to call for help, nobody is really there for me. How sad. Now, for the young people we have around belonging to the 20 something bracket, just continue doing the things you really enjoy. If you could find a job which is fun for you, go for it. Fort those whoa re suffering from many chaotic situations, always be positive that there will always be a rainbow at the end of the rain. Always pray for support. Never lose sight of your dreams deep inside your heart. Love. Live. Laugh.
3 people like this
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
Hi tombiz! Thank you for sharing your experience when you were at this age. Thank you also for sharing your insights. "Never lose sight of your dreams." ---- It's an important line here in your comment. I'll take it by heart. Enjoy your weekend, tombiz! God bless!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Jul 07
Very well said tombiz :)
2 people like this
• China
28 Jul 07
Thanks!it is quit useful for me.
2 people like this
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
hi sico009! I'm glad this help you in some way. :) Have a great night! :)
1 person likes this
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I believed in the quarter life crisis when I was in my twenties. however, I am now in my thirties and it isn't a quarter life crisis... it's a complete shift in society. I'm a Gen X'er, supposedly a slacker (I'm far from it) My parents are the tail end of the baby boom. When they were twenty, they were married, having babies, and my father got a job with a company that said it would take care of him all his life. He had a job, insurance, a pension and could have a lifetime career there. he nearly did. He worked there for 28 years. I am now thirty three, and have worked at 6 companies since I graduated college only 10 years ago. I am recently married, and don't have kids yet. I don't have a company that will take care of me, and I am not interested in giving my life to work. Of course there is a crisis for 30-something and 20-somethings in the work place. We expect MORE of our employers than our parents did. AND we are almost required to have 2 working parents in order to afford to raise children. Gen X is the FIRST generation in the United States that will not earn more money than their parents. Not only is life more economically difficult, but we hold our employers to higher standards. We question their ethical practices, encourage them to be good corporate citizens, and we can leave if we don't agree with their philosophy. Our parents would never have done that, but would have worked hard regardless, and taken home their paycheck. my generation doens't want our kids raised in day care and latch key, but we might not have a choice. It's hard to find what's right. We don't want to get married at 18 or 20, like our parents. We want to build an identity and a life, before we merge that with someone else. We want to stand on our own two feet, and find some adventures, before we start having kids. it's not a crisis, it's a societal shift.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Jul 07
Thank you for sharing that sr0415! Even though I am 36 I still encounter a few of the issues outlined above. I did feel like that when I was in my 20s and until I met my husband, things fell into place for me. We moved countries, I started a new job, changed from going out and partying to being more responsible, especially when our son came along. Things do get better if you make it better for yourself. I have always welcomed change, and love the risks and challenges that lie ahead with the change. I think that is why I have enjoyed my life this far since settling down in 2000.
2 people like this
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
Hi maddysmommy! :) I certainly agree with you. Change is the only constant thing in this world and we need to be flexible so that we'll be able to deal with it. Thank you for sharing you experience. :) And you're right! We got the power to choose how we want our lives to be. (",) God bless! :)
1 person likes this