How Easy Is It To Live A Lie?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
July 28, 2007 5:36am CST
Are you good at keeping up a pretence, are you good at living a lie? Have you been somewhere or lived somewhere where you don't want to be but have to put a smile on your face and pretend?
So as not to raise suspicion and a friendly word from some off my 'offline' friends and family I have to pretend that everything is hunky dory at home and to just be myself and pretend I am happy living with him, otherwise he'll start getting edgy and insecure and it'll make things uncomfortable.
Today is his birthday! Guess how many cards he got?
Go on think hard....
Guess, go on...
...
...
ONE!
From me!
He hasn't got any real friends, apart from his ex but today he got just my card! He may get one tonight when he goes out, but that is very very sad!
He turned round to me and said because it's my birthday it's my day off housework. I turned round and said everyday is your day off housework!
He has ONLY me. I am the ONLY person he has
Now don't get me wrong I'm not feeling bad or having second thoughts, FAR from it, but I just think it's sad that no one else wants him or thinks of him especially on his birthday
I have wonderful friends both on and off line, I have a family who wants me, his family doesn't want to know him 'the black sheep' as it were and superficial acquaintances who only use him for money
Yet here I am pretending everything is happy and I am happy living here with him and his four cats!
Now can you live that lie and pretend?
Not easy at times, but when is life easy?!
5 people like this
14 responses
@raydene (9871)
• United States
28 Jul 07
Honey, I couldn't do it. I can always be polite to someone I do not care for. I don't think I could act like nothing is wrong for that length of time. You are a strong person Wolfie.
I feel sorry for your housemate. He must be a very unhappy person. I wish he would get some help.
You just keep going forward Sweets and take care of yourself.
Hugs Buddy
R
3 people like this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
28 Jul 07
No, wolfie, I have never been good at living a lie. Sooner or later reality will step up and slap me in the face-really hard, and I will then have to make my move. It's one heck of a situation to find oneself in. Your friend is sad now, but that's nothing compared to how sad he will be when the true reality hits him and he looks up to find you gone. I can only hope that he has someone to cushion his fall.
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Living a lie sucks.
Been there, done that. Glad it's over.
You'll feel better when it's over for you too.
Just the fact that he's having a shtty birthday ought to tell him something.
1 person likes this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
28 Jul 07
Yep, I have a few times in my life I have had to live a lie. Believe me, if you had talked to him prior and had to still live together for financial or for reasons that your new residence is not ready to move it, it does not make it easier. When I was living with someone a few years ago I talked it over with him and told him it was just not working out yet I had to stay with him for an additional 3 weeks since I was moving out of the state and it was not a speedy process to pack for. It was horrible, we would not even talk, even though we stayed friends and were friendly to each other, it was still an uneasy situation to be around, at least he is nice to you, can you imagine what life would be like if you told him your secret??
Be well, my friend!
1 person likes this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Oh NO, how are you doing now that he is going to watch your every move and then try to convince you to stay with him?? Just remember your game plan and don't divert, no matter how nice he is
Be well, my friend!
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I don't think I'll feel bad abut your house mate since he done you wrong and only think of himself. It was nice of you yo get him a card even though you don't like him and it's sad that he didn't get anything from his family it must be his attitude that drives peole away so wolfie pay no attention to him as you are getting stronger each day and before you'll know it October will be here. So take care.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
29 Jul 07
You are right life isn't easy but then having friends in your life depends on you and your attitude and personality! If you manipulate and use people then you won't have friends - I find it really sad that someone is in that situation - I would hate to live like that! I am glad that it hasn't made you rethink honey - maybe he will now start looking into himself and realise that he needs to treat people better! To answer the question though honey - I have in the past had to live a lie but I will NEVER do it again and hopefully neither will you! xxxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
30 Jul 07
In the past he's used his generosity and money to get friends and to treat friends and it's a lever for him, he likes people to be dependent on him, yes I was stupid enough, now I refuse to let him pay for anything, even if I don't have the money I will borrow to make sure I don't owe him a PENNY!
1 person likes this
@weemam (13372)
•
28 Jul 07
I have never been in this position pal , and I hope to God I never am , Yes I feel sory for this guy , but I immagine that he has made HIMSELF billy no mates , You have made your decision pal and stick to it or you could become so depressed you won't want any friends , stick it out pal you don't have long to go , God Bless xxxx
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Living a lie is never easy, but sometimes, you do what you have to do in order to protect yourself and others around you, if that means lying or living a lie, then that is what has to be done.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 Jul 07
Yes Wolfie I had to do it for 21 years but in all that time I still believed that I loved my Ex Husband it wasn't till just before I decided it was over that I realized I did not love him anymore and had not for a few Years he killed it all
It is very hard to live a lie but like you say Sweetie when is Life easy
@bilalalikhan1 (270)
• India
29 Jul 07
thats a part of life....we have to pretend constantly in some wqay or the other.....for some reason or the other.......even in a job interview we pretend to be confident even when we r nervous inside.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
28 Jul 07
Well you are certainly better than me- I could not do it- I'm sure I would act differently and not be as nice- I wouldn't be there as much- I am sure my sig. other would know- I can't hide feelings- How sad is that for your housemate- No friends and even his family does not like him- Don't feel bad though- you need to be healthy and happy- Soon Wolfie- soon!
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
28 Jul 07
Well I think you know the answer to that one from me - I couldn't do it - no way! No matter how much I hated the other person involved, I would have to talk to them face to face and tell them the truth, and if that made things uncomfortable, then I would have to take the consequences of making the decisions I had made. Living a lie puts added stress onto the person living it - not on anyone else, and I think it is bad karma. Just my views anyway - probably not in line with most of your other friends but you know I cannot tell a lie!!
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
29 Jul 07
wolfie, do not let his problems become yours. you finally have it separated and all feeling sorry for him will do is prove to him he is on the right track. Hang in there and make your escape as planed. Live a lie for your own safety and sanity. and then you get to say bye bye and he will have to deal with every thing including house work. he needs a reality check but only from a distance. Take care
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I have lived that lie before and so has every other person who has lived in an abusive relationship...the fake smiles and warm welcomes are enough to make you want to puke BUT if you do this...it gets worse then there is a fight...for hours usually so lie, my friend, do whatever you have to do to make it through things until te time is here to leave then RUN....RUN....and live happy life away rom his meanness and control....Life will be good....hold on....
Thinking of you always, my dearest friend.
