I broke my children's hearts, any advice?
By sunshinecup
@sunshinecup (7871)
July 29, 2007 2:34pm CST
We have many strays around here and we have adopted 3 to live with us as well as a dog. But we really can't afford any more than that. So we feed all of scraps and what have you to the strays outside and do what we can. Well there was a cute little kitten that took up home outside under one of our cars that is broke down. My girls got really close to it over the last few weeks and had her coming to them. I noticed the last couple of days, it didn't look well, but sometimes animals get sick and then pop right back on their own, I thought she would as well. Well this morning they both found the poor little thing dead. Now their hearts are broken and they are so mad at me right now for not bringing it in before this and doing something. I am beside myself and in tears over the guilt of letting them down. But I just couldn't bring in another one and I didn't think she was that sick, you know?
Anyway, do you have any advice that may help? Have you ever had this or something close to it happen, if so how did you handle it?
I feel so awful right now.
6 people like this
11 responses
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
30 Jul 07
Oh those poor babies!
You had no way of knowing the cat was that sick. And that's really all you can tell them. It really may not have made any difference anyway. Something could have been wrong since she was born.
I don't think there is anything you can tell them to make them feel better. Maybe they are blaming you because they don't know who else to blame. I'm sure they'll come around in a day or two.
Just hang in there...time will heal.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
30 Jul 07
Thanks, they are better today than yesterday. They seem to be understanding that I couldn't have done much more for the poor thing than I what I did.
2 people like this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
30 Jul 07
That's great. I am glad they're doing better today. I was hoping that a little time would help them understand :)
You're very welcome.
2 people like this
@awonderfullife (2893)
• United States
30 Jul 07
Aw hun, you can't blame yourself. You did what you could to help the little kitty. That's so sad that your girls found it. I would just say that the kitty was very sick and God took it up to be with Him. This may have still happened even if you had brought the cat in, you don't know what kind of illness it had. So sad! But they will forget in time.
2 people like this
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
30 Jul 07
Actually, you may have done the right thing. The poor little kitten may have had a disease that would be easily transmitted to your pets and that would have been much worse. Maybe you could just tell your children that sick animals can often make healthy animals sick and it's best to not bring them inside near the other animals.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
30 Jul 07
Yes I found some sites this morning and shown them things like HIV and Luekimia that can be transmitted from cat to cat. I think they are starting to understand, but their hearts just need to mend. They both hugged and kiss me this morning, that's a great sign. They didn't kiss me last night.
1 person likes this
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
30 Jul 07
That is a tough one. I had to tell my son about the strays bringing in diseases that might kill his cats that we had in the house. Sometimes that reasoning helped, sometimes not. I wish you the best, and I know where you are coming from about not being able to afford to take anymore in. I hope that the girls will be able to understand and will feel better about it soon. It is not something that you should feel guilty about, sometimes those poor little things are only meant to be here on earth for a little while.
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
30 Jul 07
They are better today than they were last night.
There are so many things the stray animals can carry in to the other pets, it's scary. The more I read up on it the more shocking it is.
1 person likes this
@Atanness (31)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
I dont think that it was your fault ma'am. And indeed i would think the same, because it happened a lot to my pets, they would get sick and then 1 day they will just jump around and lick you all over.
But in the case of your children, i suggest that you tell them the truth and try saying it in a kind and loving manner so that they would understand and avoid seeing things in their own way. I think your kind enough to take care of stray animals up to the point that you cant afford anymore, and i think thats the part that the children should try to understand. That not all things no matter how we wanted it is possible for attainment. =)
2 people like this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
30 Jul 07
Thank you for your kind words, and that is true. Sometimes no matter how hard we try, what is ment to be will be.
1 person likes this
@kristys_red_barn (71)
• United States
30 Jul 07
Loosing a pet is so hard. You might try to come up with something that will help bring them some closure. And as hard as it is, now would probably be a good time to discuss the circle of life with them, how animals pass away and new ones are born.
You mentioned that you would like to find a less expensive way to spay/neuter. Where I am our local Human Society has spay/neuter days where it's only $10 per animal, so you might check with your local shelter and see if they have any specials like that.
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@sunshinecup (7871)
•
30 Jul 07
Yes I have and no they don't. Where I am located there isn't anything around here like that. It's sad too, cause this area has a lot of stray dogs as well as cats. Right now it would cost me $60.00 for one cat. That's just too much for me.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
30 Jul 07
This was not your problem. You just need to explain to your children that some live and that some die, and that sometimes there's nothing we can do. She was probably a sick little kitty before they found her, and she would have remained sick even if you'd taken her in.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
31 Jul 07
Yeah, from what I have been reading, there are many things that she could have been born with that would have put the odds of her surviving totally against her. Worms is one thing. The mother could have passed them onto her kittens while pregnant and they can damage the liver and lungs before they are even born. At that it seems there is not much even a Vet could have done.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
31 Jul 07
Oh that is so sad- And it is a tough one to swallow for your kids- They think that if you would have brought the kitten inside it would have lived- But you know it would not have- It's a tough one- I would explain to them again that the kitten was really sick and it might have made the other animals in the house sick also-could be true- and you had no idea how sick it was- that it hurts you also that the kitten is gone- but it is in kitty heaven-
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
31 Jul 07
Yeah it was just a shock to them, I had been warning them she was sick, but not even I thought she was going to die, she was acting as though she was feeling better. I reckon it caught all of us off guard.
@sunshinecup (7871)
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30 Jul 07
Nope, but it does little to no good for what this post is about. Thanks any way.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
31 Jul 07
My bad, please forgive me. Here let me run and tell my girls about SPCA right now.....
Nope didn't help them feel better at all.
@mizrae (587)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I don't have cats, but I remember a time when my brother's family took in a stray that had a very communicable "cat disease" (it begins with a P) Anyway, the next thing you know all their cats were sick and only one recovered. I think if you gently explain to your girls that since you didn't know what had caused the kitten to be sick in the first place, and it definitely wasn't because it was left outside, that all your indoor pets might have gotten sick as well. I know it's hard to explain these things to little ones so I wish you the best of luck.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
29 Jul 07
Thanks, it is hard and with my youngest one mainly, she is 8 and it's hard to make her understand. I think she will be ok in time, it's just today is a horrible day for us all.
@amyann16 (414)
• United States
29 Jul 07
So sorry to hear about the kitty and the tough situation you are in right now. Unfortunately, I think the best you can do at this point is use this as a teaching experience for your girls on the importance of spaying and neutering animals. Unfortunately there are so many more kittens and dogs that are without homes and we can't possibly save them all.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
29 Jul 07
Yes, I am trying to point out to them, that we have saved 3 cats and 1 dog from living out there. I wish I could find a place that would neuter or spay at low to no cost for strays. It's a $60.00 expense per cat for us, and we just don't have the money. It's a shame we can't do more than we do.
It is a lesson in life, I am afraid they all have to experience sometime. I just hate they are mad at me more than anything.
