Pain, what is real pain?

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I'm on a bunch of drugs to help with the pain in my leg, as my nerves are playing up and have gone haywire a little, I have a wound that is not healing so my doctors put me on drugs to take away the pain.. And now at 2.20 am when everyone else in my family are sleeping I find my self yet again feeling the pain and knowing that I've taken so many drugs that they should knock out a cow. For the pain I'm on morphine,(as a quick fire painkiller)20mgs a pill and I'm meant to take 2 every 4 hours but I pop about 4 every time I feel the pain start up, then I'm on 400mg Tegretol (as a long lasting pain reliever) I take one at night and one in the morning, and now I'm on Methadone 5mgs and I'm meant to take that 2 times a day( and thats to stop the pain and also to slow the morphine popping a bit)and next they want to put me on garva something or rather but they have to get govt approval for me as I can't afford it and so the NZ govt is going to pay for it. and to help me sleep at night I'm on Amitriptyline 25mgs a pill and I take 2 at night. And now they can't do a thing for my leg except give me more pain killers as some I'm allergic to and some put me to sleep, but then I'm napping in the day time all ready, I fall asleep on the pc, I am not alowed to ride my bikes any more, and my wife has to change my dressing two times a day and two times a week a district nurse checks it out and changes the dressing again, The pain is something I can't explain, its left me in tears and my moods change with every new pill, It's crazy and how did my leg go this way? Well I work as a bodyguard and have done for many yrs and some one took a shot at my client while he was on vacation in the USA and the only one he got was my ankle, so the doctors removed all the shell fragments and it looked like it was healing, untill it started to leak fluid, and now the quaks don't know what it is, they think it could be my lymph fluid but they are not sure so they are checking it out, and what happens to me I stay awake untill I get tired and keep taking drugs, and I'm not used to sitting round doing nothing, I've never taken a vacation in my life and now I'm on a paid one and have been for the past 7 mths, and talk about going crazy, I'm at my wits end, sometimes I want them to cut my leg off but they say no as they say it will be worse, but I can't go on with the pain or the sitting round, gawd my house would be a drug crimainals xmas with all the stuff I have locked in a draw so my kids don't get into it, I can't stand on two feet by my self for anything over 5 minutes,I'm on crutches, and I havnt worn a boot or shoe for 10 mths, I can't work out in my gym no more with my legs any way and who ever heard of a one legged bodyguard? And I hate dragging my family down with me, they have all seen my mood swings they all know I'm in pain, they have all heard me screaming, and I can't do a thing about it as even the doctors are unsure, they just say to me to keep doing as I'm doing and keep surviving, but I don't know how to do that anymore...