Help me.....

Wow. What an awful situation to be in. I have to say your parents are right in doing this because he has lost all respect for her and everyone else including himself. A lot of the times a person has to hit rock bottom before they get help and if you let him inside, he'll just continue on knowing he can count on you to bail him out every time he gets into trouble so don't help him. He has to be the one to help himself or he just won't do it if you help him. It's a vicious circle but it has to end somewhere and some how and now is the time. Do what ever you have to do to not help him even if it means for you to move somewhere else for a little while till the dust settles so to speak. I'll be thinking about you.

Man your case is quite serious, but in the case that no advice in mylot works for you, i suggest that you bring this to the BIG BOSS that we have up there... Pray and bring this case to the Lord, i know and im sure that he wont let you down. as for me, all i can say is that your brother should be able to stand and learn the consequences of his actions. I mean you said it yourself ma'am that he is already an adult. It might sound cruel but you know things are a lot different when you grow up. People wont see you as a small kid anymore, they will expect you to move in accordance with the level of your thinking. Pray and i believe that your brother will come around soon. =)

I hope this worked out for you today, although I know it can be veyr draining as this is probably an ongoing problem. Stay strong. I hope you can just wait until your brother realizes that he needs to change.

you can seek professional advice from centers that caters this kind of situation. Try putting him in an institution where he can be rehabilitated or informed of the things he has done. Someone or somebody should remind him that he will lost everything if he will not change. Ask school councilor where are these institutions and that ask for there assistance to help your brother. Try to find something in the telephone directory of institutions or professional help. I understand that it hurt a lot but your brother should learn something out of life with help of course. dont you think it is much better that he is in a safe rehabilitation than on the streets? Good Luck...

I'm sure this is hard for you, he is your brother after all. Your mom is practicing tough love and is to be commended. This is probably much harder on her than it is your brother. As someone said here...He WILL find a place to stay and someone WILL feed him. He does have friends. After all, he always manages to find a way to get high now doesnt he? I am not meaning to sound harsh but I have dealt with these people far more than I care to recall. I had to do the tough love deal with my daughter. It killed me but then it was killing me to watch her everyday doing things that were dragging her down. She was not just getting high on weed. She was doing all sorts of other things and getting into trouble and being very abusive verbally and sometimes even physically to me and others in the family. I had to put my foot down. It was not ok for her to come in my house and treat me or others the way she had been. She could not live here without working and pulling her share of the weight...same rules that applied to her sisters. Thing is that for a while, I think I made allowances for her becuz I knew she had issues and I was afraid that if I kicked her out, she would get worse. It was the best thing I did for her. She now holds an ok job and is on her own and responsible. We have a very good relationship...something I doubted could be possible a year ago. I think she is clean...don't know. She is being responsible and has her act together. What she does in her own time is no longer a problem for me or society. Your mom needs your support....don't make her feel guilty about your brother. she already does...you'll just be adding to it.

you should obey your parents, its a punishment for him and they will take him in in one or two days(may be)

His behaviour sounds completly out of line.He has to hit rock bottom and realize that no one will look after him in this state, they will just be enabling him if they do.It may be the only way for him to shape up and get clean.If you "help" him by letting him in, you won't be helping him at all.Stand firm, if you really want to help.

Well if it were me, I would call the police on him. I know that sounds cold and cruel, but it may be the slap of reality he needs. It may not do a darn thing for him, but it will get him off the streets. His addiction is a vicious cycle that not only brings him down in a pit of hell, but his family and friends as well. Something has to give, an intervention of some sort. IMO the first step would be showing him the extinct of how fed up everyone is with this and well...call the cops on him.

Well I have to agree with your parents on this one. I know it's hard, but they call it "tough love", and it may be the only way to help your brother see sense and get himself back on the road to recovery. Imagine how awful it must be for your Mum to see the child she carried and gave birth to, reduced to such a state, and calling her such names. It must break her heart. But it is their house, and their rules, and if that is what shey have decided to do, then you muct respect their wishes. Take care.

Marie, first you have to ask for your inner strength! And then to talk with parents that let him in and explain the things related with his life ans style and what he is doing! Just assure them that this will go as a peaceful manner and then it should be followed that way ... You must look after regarding that! Then go to your brother and convince him about peacefull conversation with open understanding mind to grasp the things in real perspectives! I know this is a family issue and should be tackle with such a family care ... so gether yourself and proceed you will have success surely!

As a parent, I don't know if I would be able to leave him outside no matter what he was doing. I would be hurt by his actions, but my concern over his wellbeing would outweigh my own hurt. I have never been very good at the tough love thing, although I have heard it can be very effective. Can your family do an intervention with him? He needs help - obviously he can't break his addiction on his own. Would he be willing to let you take him to detox? Good luck to you and your family - I hope things turn out all right for you.

I am sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I also had this happen with my husband, until I could take it no longer and had him put in treatment. I know it is a tough thing to see, but if you help him now you are just enabling him to keep on the same track he is on. He has to hit bottom and seek help himself. I know that it is hard to hear that, but it is really the only thing that works. I hope that you will have the strength to keep up with your parents' wishes, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!

You must be feeling miserable, but think of your parents who brought him up, and to call your mum a wh**e. She must be feeling more and more miserable as she must have loved him sooo much and must have had such high hopes from him. I am sure they must have forgiven him often enough, but to no avail. They are justified in throwing him out. He needs to know what it is to earn and then only will he understand hunger, cold, pain. Feeling for your brother is fine, feel more for your parents and give them all the love and support you can for this decision must have come with great difficulty for them. Such people do not hurt themselves, they are egoist and can only hurt their loved ones. Leave him to learn for himself. Believe me, he will soon learn the importance of being loved and cared for by his family. Keep looking after your parents. They should not be hurt physically or mentally by what one calls a son.

well marie am sorry that you had to put up with you brother's attitude but what you have to do first, talk to your parent let them know that no matter what happens he is their son so they just have to forgive him and should not giveup on him and also talk to him about his attitude am sure with time he will change for a better person you should also seek the face of God concerning him i believe that God can solve all problems.

I have to agree with your parents on this one. My mom has to do the same thing with my sister and yes its hard, its hard on my mom but sometimes tough love is better than allowing him to continue on down the road of distruction. I'm sure he will find a friend that will allow him to crash at their house. Its not easy watching someone do this to themselves, maybe you could talk to him when he's sober and talk him into getting some help. If he doesn't want help then you will have to let him go down his road of destruction and not fall into his self pity about not having a place to stay. I'll be praying for you today cause I know this isn't an easy thing to go through. If you need to talk I'm here. Good luck!!