The Start of my NEW Life....
By PunkyMcPunk
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
Canada
August 1, 2007 1:44pm CST
Well, mylot, my son was sitting with me one day. Out of the blue he asked "mommy are you my friend?" I replied. "hope so" as I hugged his little shoulders...
"You're my bestfriend" he quietly and seriously told me. I was instantly almost driven to tears because I know that this is a fleeting time in his and my life. Soon he will find schoolmate best friends and mom will be mom always loved (I hope) and always held high in life (I hope) but replaced as best friend by peers. Anyways....
I replied "oh hunnie, you're mommies favourite best friend and my only little monkey". He giggled.
We sat in silence again just out in the backyard on a good day relaxing in lawn chairs watching the geese roam the lawn hearing the sheep in the paddock bleeting aimlessly at each other. I stood up and moved away a little downwind and lit up a smoke.
"mommy" came is cute little voice.
"what hunnie?" I responded.
"will you stop smoking?" big pause as I get uncomfortable "I don't want you to die". Instantly I was crushed. I audibly intook breath. Stubbed my smoke out on a rock and walked back over to him.
"really?" I ask in somewhat disbelief.
"Mrs. Pierman (his kindergarten teacher) " and the fireman said that smoking is bad and it gives you cancer and it can make you die." I was in a state of anguish. I wanted to kick Mrs. Pierman and the fireman really hard lol.
"You really want mommy to quit?"
"Yes" in a quiet sad little voice.
"Okay. On August 1st mommy will quit smoking." The little voice in my head screamed
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! You FOOL!"
Okay so it's August 1st. DAY 1. It's 220 in the afternoon here in Ontario Canada. I'm at work. I have the patch on.... I want a smoke.
I made it through first break. What do non-smokers do on breaks at work. 15 minutes never took so long to pass in my LIFE! AHHHHH!!!!
So non-smokers, what do you do on your breaks at work or at your lunch to fill in time??
Also if there are any reformed smokers out there what did you do to quit? How did it go? What helped what is a "do not do" while trying to quit?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
2 Aug 07
Good luck to you!! You can do this. Your son has really given you a reason to.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I have tried several times, and I have failed. I just don't have the willpower. I really want to, but they seem to be my crutch when things go wrong. You will do it though.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
3 Aug 07
Yes, that's the thing. I am so fearful of letting him down. I don't know why but I think that within a month I will be smoking again. I have friends that I have relayed this fear to and they try to asauge me by saying "oh that's okay everyone tries 3 or 4 times before they quit" and yes, that's well and good, and I appreciate where they are coming from but... I promised my son.... sigh... rock and a hard place....
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
6 Aug 07
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but.... I had a smoke today. sigh... I don't want to quit. I know that I should. I know I'll be healthier and I did promise my child but... I don't want to quit.
@BlackBay (584)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
I'm a smoker who as well is in the middle of QUITTING!!! And I've had some rough patches to get through,LOL. When I have the urge for a smoke I usually go drink a glass of cold water(trying not to eat,lol).I clean alot to keep my hands busy or go do some crafts. I sometimes find it very hard to be around people that are smokeing because I WANT one but the cravings do pass and I try to think of other things like why I want to quit and those reasons reaffirm my committment to quit. Quitting is never easy but it is worth so much more than giving and lighting up. Don't be hard on yourself if you slip and have a puff just get back on the wagon and keep at it. Good luck!! and your boy sounds like a real sweety!
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
Congratulations! I sincerely mean that. I've only been at it 1 day and I'm already iffy lol. I know it is going to take a LOT more than this to break me because I have a stubborn mulish temperment. I am GOING to do this whether it kills me.
How long have you been at it?
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
The only issue I have with this patch thing is that I put one on this morning and it peeled off and unstuck itself so I had to put another one on. Have you had this issue? I didn't buy the cheap no name ones either I went with the Nicoderm coz I frankly want to do every thing right, ya know?
@KrazyKlingon (5005)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I thought I had posted a response to this one when I first read it. If you have succeeded in quitting smoking, more power to you. It does take time & patience to get the impurities cleared out of the system, & for that "need" to subside. It's getting past those days that is very difficult.
@freak369 (5113)
• United States
6 Aug 07
Very cute story about your son. I admit it, I have tried to stop smoking many times and the only thing that seemed to work were Tootsie Roll Pops. I have no idea what is in them, maybe it's just having something in my mouth. Needless to say, buying a pack of those at a dollar a day was a lot cheaper than $5.00 a day for smokes. Alas, I am still smoking even though I know it's bad for me. It is a tough thing to give up and I still wonder what people do on their lunch break or "smoke break" if they don't smoke.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
Yeah you're telling me! This hit me like a MAC truck carrying a ton of bricks! I didn't expect it and it was said with such sincerity..... sigh..... Stupid health education lol.
As for where I live... Literally in the middle of the woods. I live about an hour and 20 minutes west of Ottawa or 45 minutes east of Kingston (if you know where that is). About 3 and a half hours from Toronto.
If you ever get to my neck of the woods let me know. I'll at least treat you to a Tim Hortons. I love meeting new people!
We live in a gorgeous place though don't we? Not a day goes by that I don't look outside or take a walk on our farm and stare in starry eyed wonderment at the beauty around me.
@lovelyladydancing (1016)
• United States
1 Aug 07
You could gossip at the water cooler:)
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
1 Aug 07
Yes, I guess youa re right, gossip abounds here! I mean there are roughly 250 employees lol Thanks!
